Re: Intergender friendships can be worth your time

(mynameismcfly)
Being friends with a girl and being friends with another guy are two different worlds. I always fucked this up until I realized you cannot carry the same expectations between the two.

I think intergender friendships are a net positive if you approach them with the right mindset:

She is not your 'bro'

She is not there for you to spill your guts to

You are not her emotional tampon

She has to provide some sort of value (i.e. she's funny, brings her friends around, pays for drinks/ubers, etc.)

Where I've fucked up in the past is:

- expecting 'girl' friends to be like my guy friends (undying loyalty, understanding bro code, etc.)

- thinking that if I was a good friend she might realize I'm a good guy and sleep with me (LOL)

- being needy and annoying

Where I've had success in the past was when I:

- focused the time spent together on a positive experiences (catching up, group activities, sports, etc.)

- made sure she provided value and reinforced it positively (ex: "I like bringing Katie around because she always pitches in")

- didn't try to hit on her after we became friends (unless she made it clear she wanted to fuck)

In my experience, showing girls that I'm 100% okay being platonic friends (then letting them witness me game other girls) has made them more attracted to me. It's sort of a reverse psychology thing. For the girls who ended up not being attracted to me later (they wouldn't have fucked me anyway), they make for good friends to bring around when I'm trying to game new girls. Win-win for me. If you have a solid group of red pill guy friends who understand this dynamic, it's amplified and you'll always have girls who are dtf around (my entire 4 years in college lol)

It's been said a million times here how preselection works. In my experience having friends who are girls can only benefit you when you're trying to get laid. As long as it's not a beta friendship and you're not in the friendzone; It gives social proof, demonstrating you may be high value, and at the very least it's showing that you can interact with other girls positively, without being a creep.

(mineralranch)
Yeah I agree with a lot of this. I've noticed that you can be friends with girls too but under the very strict conditions that you set forth. They don't care about your shit and don't wanna hear it. They also only really stick around if you're positive or entertaining to them in some way. You can't just chill on the couch and watch TV like you would with a guy friend; it always need to be an "experience". They get bored and complain and it's frustrating because they are completely incapable of just enjoying a moment or the presence of another person. They can only act that way if you're already fucking them.

So yeah you can be friends with a girl, but they're honestly really shitty friends lmao.

(strikethrough123)
People are inherently selfish. Ask yourself this: Would you provide something in return for a service you’ve always gotten for free? You’d likely be offended. “I’ve been getting this for free all this time, now I have to pay? Wtf?”. It’s the same with women. Why would she give up her pussy when she’s been getting validated for free for weeks/months/years.

Pussy is their currency, time and attention is yours.

There are some rare cases where she can offer up something useful other than pussy, like in your case with Amanda, but those tend to be the exception.

(trpjnf)
I’ve experienced something similar. Wouldn’t say I’m really “friends” with these girls, but I do have a lot of girls in my social circle that are either dating my male friends or who are friends with my male friends. Going out to bars with a big group of people that is mostly girls (that you aren’t trying to game) is MASSIVE social proof.

Intergender friendships aren’t the same as intragender friendships. We really need a separate word for it, because men get confused and expect friendships with women to function the same way as with men.

(TheRealIsBack1)
Intergender friendships aren't terrible per se but you shouldn't go out looking for them. One of my coworkers which I befriended is female however she doesn't express feminine vibes so I am not attracted to her whatsoever. She's like a bro to me (raised by her dad and most of her friends are dudes). The biggest thing is to not expect anything from her, do not text her buddy buddy shit. However, she will sometimes try to bring up drama related shit to work which I barely acknowledge and act uninterested (prevents you being an emotional tampon) but at the end of the day, she's fun to hang out with.

Bonus: If she introduces you to her friends.