My husband was arrested Dec 3, 2012 for sex abuse to my daughters (his step-daughters). We had been together for 10 years and married for 7 years. I never suspected anything. My ex husband always made comments to the effect of my husband sexually abusing the girls - never took it serious as when I asked the girls about it they denied it. My ex even called child services a couple times and they came out and investigated and never came up with anything to confirm the allegations. My ex put me through hell when we separated and divorced. My current husband was (is) such a loving man, he made me happier than I ever thought possible. My girls loved him and I never seen any actions to make me suspicious of anything. My oldest wanted my current husband to adopt her, ex would never allow that.
My world shattered the morning of Dec. 3, 2012 when I got a voice mail at work from my ex stating the same thing as before - He got a call from a friend of the girls saying my husband was having sex with my girls. As always I checked it out. I left work right after getting there and getting this message, went to the school and talked to my girls expecting to get the same answer as I had always gotten in the past - no nothing has happened. Well to my surprise my oldest told me that he had been touching her a few years before - no actual sex. I was about to leave when I decided to talk to my youngest daughter and she told me the same thing he had been touching her - no actual sex. I was devastated. I left the school went home and state and cried, trying to figure out what to do. I wanted to call him up and have him come home but I was afraid - not knowing how he would react (he has never harmed me in anyway). I ended up calling a hot line and talked to a counselor for a bit and then she transferred me to the sheriff's department to make a report.
The Sheriff's department and a Social worker went to the school and talked to my youngest daughter and then came to my home and talked to my oldest daughter and me. I was told they would go to his work and get him and talk to him later before he got off work. I was scared about what would happen. It never occurred to me that he would be arrested and booked that day and wait for a preliminary hearing the following day.
I was scared, hurt, angry, confused, worried. I didn't have a clue what would happen next. I did go to the bank and open new checking and savings accounts and move most of the money, left him a bit incase he needed it. Well as it turned out I got a call about 4:25pm that day from the detective that was at the house telling me that they had talked to him and he admitted it and they were booking him and they would contact me in the morning about the first hearing. My heart sank, I was totally lost. My world had just been totally turned upside down. He tried to call me after he was booked - I thought it might be him, but didn't recognize the number so I didn't answer it, plus at that point I did not want to talk to him. I didn't sleep at all that night.
I got the girls up for school the following morning and got myself ready for work. I got to work and knew I really shouldn't be there. My old boss seen me and knew something was wrong - I told her I would talk to her once my boss got there and we could all talk together. The 3 of us went into my bosses office and I broke down crying and forced myself to tell them what happened. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do. They were both shocked as they both know my husband. They have been 2 of my best support people through this year. My boss sent me home and my old boss actually met me at the courthouse later that day as she didn't want me going by myself. She also went with me before I went home to my husband work to get his vehicle and some personal belongings.
After the hearing the detective had me go to the sheriff's office as she wanted to talk to the girls again and they met me there. I wanted to see my husband and at first they said no then allowed me to see him. It was hard seeing him and I had everything I wanted to say written down so I wouldn't forget.
The rest of that week was hard and I can't believe the things I did and thought to do and still was there for my girls. No one warned me about it hitting the newspaper and I never thought about it. It did on Thursday and I got a call from his daughter telling me about the newspaper and that it was also on the talk radio show. I hadn't told any of my family yet. I called my Aunt and she already knew from the newspaper, she was just waiting for me to call, told my niece she was in shock and they both came over. It was good having them here for me and the girls. I had them tell the rest of the family.
I kept a journal for the first few months and actually sent it to my husband in parts so he could read it and see what I had been through mentally and physically. It hurt him but he needed to know. I have not held back my feelings from him.
I still live my husband, write him letters, talk to him on the phone and visit him. Most people do not understand how I could have anything to do with him after what he did. There are times I do not understand how I can still love him wither, but I do. I have been doing a lot of praying and it must be part of the plan of God as my feelings have not changed in the last year. My friend from church tells me God has a plan and to keep my faith and follow what God's plan. So every day I pray and follow what I feel God wants me to and that is stay with my husband.
It will be a long haul as his sentence is 10 years to life. If by chance he gets parole after ten years it would be great as long as we stay together.