[Re: fixing his blown TV]
I took you guys advice and changed the batteries in my remote. Hoping this was the problem. It didn't help.
I had my TV cleaned and dusted. This to didn't help.
Please don't laugh? I was at my wits end and had become a bit scared that maybe I was dealing with a real ghost, demon are whatever. So I looked on the net for a how to, then I put oil on it and prayed, and waited.
The next morn, it did the same thing again, then quit, just like that, its been over a month and nothing unusual. What happened, I surely don't know, did the prayer help, maybe. Hopefully this will be the end of my little story.
42 comments
Yes, because it could not possibly be anything wrong with the machine. If you've dusted it and changed the remote batteries, then what else on earth could it possibly be?
TV's, just like Jesus, are magic.
"I took you guys advice and changed the batteries in my remote. Hoping this was the problem. It didn't help."That sounds like a reasonable first step. Are you sure the replacement batteries were good?
"I had my TV cleaned and dusted. This to didn't help."
That sounds like a ridiculous second step. I've never heard of dusting a TV to cure a malfunction.
"It got so bad until I couldn't watch TV. It would go on and off, volume up and down, so I had almost given up. When as a last resort thing I decided to exorcist my set."
And, yet, your third step is even more ridiculous than your second. I notice you skipped the more reasonable approaches of A. getting a new remote and/or B. taking the TV to a qualified repair person. Yeah, if it's not the batteries or the dust, it must be demonic possession.
"Please don't laugh?"
I can't help it. You're such a dinkwad.
"I was at my wits end and had become a bit scared that maybe I was dealing with a real ghost, demon are whatever."
That's where your wits end? Batteries, dust, wits end? I'm not sure you can show that your wits ever began.
"So I looked on the net for a how to, then I put oil on it and prayed, and waited."
Yeah, it's always a good idea to put flamable liquids on electronic equipment.
"The next morn, it did the same thing again, then quit, just like that, its been over a month and nothing unusual."
Showing nothing more than your TV had an intermittant problem.
"What happened, I surely don't know, did the prayer help, maybe."
But most probably not.
"Hopefully this will be the end of my little story."
I agree.
Here we go again... I seriously wish this god dude wasn't so unbelievably busy with fixing tv sets, supporting football teams, and helping people find a parking space. Would be cool if - just for fucking once - he did something a bit more helpful, like, ya know stop people from raping, or ending famine or something.
Please don't laugh?
"That sounds like a ridiculous second step. I've never heard of dusting a TV to cure a malfunction."
I had a TV that did this once. The cause? My brother and I had a squirt gun fight indoors and accidentally hit the tv. The water got into the electronics inside and started short circuting them, making the TV spontaneously switch channels and jack up the volume. Once the water dried off, it stopped.
You Fool!
If you spill something on a keypad, you can get weird effects for days or weeks afterwards. I spilled water on my Dell laptop and it screwed up a few of the keys. It cured itself about two weeks later without exorcism, although I might have tried it in desperation had I thought of it.
I think it was Isaac Asmiov who posited that if we brought a television back in time 500 years ago, the television would appear to be magic to the people of that age (assuming, of course, you could get a station or find an outlet...)
Mister Spak: It's just a pity that Jesus apparently couldn't heal Swaggart of his fraudulent, adulterous, hypocritical ways. With all the claims made about Jesus healing appliances and vehicles, maybe he should be considered a mechanic, rather than a messiah.Old Viking: I like your comment, but please note that Christopher Lee is the submitter of this gem; the post is credited to ohappyday.
~David D.G.
I had a similar problem when the little penguin in my fridge died. I placed him in the ground, sealed the hole with a rock, and three days later, vy-ola! He was back on the clock! Thanks jebus, you're the shit!
I think if the problem comes back, you should burn the instruction booklet as an offering to Yawheh. If that doesn't work, as a last resort, you should strip naked, paint yourself purple, and run 3 times around your block shouting "Praise the Lord! Save my tv!"
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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