[concerning a girl who gets turned on by gay porn]
You are an enemy of Jesus, and Jesus kills his enemies .
Prepare for eternal damnation.
94 comments
Killed by a bloke who's been dead for 2000 years, just because she likes pics of naked women.
Ah, feel the love. What would my Sunday morning be without it?
"[concerning a girl who gets turned on by gay porn] "
Makes sense that she would. After all, a fairly large portion of straight/bi guys are turned on by girl-on-girl.
"You are an enemy of Jesus, and Jesus kills his enemies. "
You know, I don't think you quite grok this Jesus fella or his teachings.
"Prepare for eternal damnation. "
Or eternal stupid if you decide to dwell at Yahoo! Answers.
The Ryanator's Bible must be missing Luke 6:27-28
But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
Though it's interesting that Jesus doesn't practice what he preaches, in fact he curses his enemies as often than he forgives them. The Seven Woes of Matthew and the Six Woes of Luke (the Bible's authors can't seem to decide how many Woes there are) is a good example.
Narnarr wrote:
sorry, can not remember anyone being killed by jesus...
There's a reason the Gospel of Thomas was left out of the Bible. In it the young Jesus supernaturally kills two other children, one for spilling water, the other for accidentally bumping into him.
That's right folks, Jesus will kill you for something as trivial as seeing two boys kiss and thinking it looks kinda hot.
At least, that's how it works in Ryanator's universe, where damnation can also be earned by sleeping on the wrong side of your bed, looking at someone funny, and wearing clothing in the wrong colors.
I thought that Jesus was supposed to love us all and that that was why he died on the cross, to save us all.
But you seem to have the hubris to speak for Jesus, as if He would be bothered fulfilling your lurid hate-wishes against others of God's creatures.
I think you are sinning against the Holy Spirit here, and that is the unforgivable sin. So YOU are for the fiery lake. You simply cannot repent of this one.
"You are an enemy of Jesus, and Jesus kills his enemies."
That doesn't sound much like the Prince of Peace or the Lamb of God to me.
"Prepare for eternal damnation."
Won't you be surprised when you wind up in one of the many possible Hells other religions claim are waiting for you.
She's not alone. Guy/Guy stuff is popular enough for multiple shelves of yaoi at your friendly local bookstore. Hell, my best friend, a very nice girl, used to churn out Gundam Wing fics by the bushelful.
Exactly. You've got it spot on there The Ryanator, Jesus does indeed kill His enemies.
One day, Jesus was talking to Himself (although, to us, it looks as though Jesus is talking to God, His Father, that's because we humans are unable to visualize multi-dimensions and quantum and stuff), anyway, He said to Himself, referring to a chap who didn't believe in Him, "You know, that man needs to burned alive and then sent to our torture chambers to be burned for eternity".
"Yes. I agree", He replied to Himself.
"Then that's settled. I command him to be burned alive".
"How will you do it", asked God.
"I have the necessary tools for the job", answered Jesus. "See there", and He pointed down. "Fundies. I'll get them to do it. Saves wasting lightning. Everyone will know it's really me, Jesus, doing it."
Jesus has been dead for a couple thousand years, if he ever existed at all.
I'm afraid he won't be killing anyone, enemies included, not that Jesus would, at least not according to that book you don't read.
I know Jesus took some whips to some people and killed a fig tree, but I'm damned if I can remember Jesus actually killing anyone. In fact, didn't he restore the High Priest's servant's ear after one of his followers struck it off? Why would someone with such patience kill somebody just for looking at dirty movies?
Jesus kills his enemies.
That's why he's known as the Prince of Peace.
I wonder if there's ever been a fundie who thought to himself, "You know, it's strange that God hates everyone I hate." No, probably not.
Killed by a bloke who's been dead for 2000 years, just because she likes pics of naked women.
Ah, feel the love. What would my Sunday morning be without it?
your wrong about something
she doesnt get off on seeing two women
she gets off on seeing to men going at it
its like the reverse gender version of guys who find lesbians hot
Jesus does indeed try to kill his enemies. He walloped one over the head with a steel pipe two years ago, then whined that the cops were being unfair when they arrested him and called an ambulance for his victim.
Wait.
Never mind.
Jesus Christ is different from Jesus the gang member.
So, to recap: Straight men who watch lesbian porn and get turned on - perfectly normal and Jesus would totally watch it with you;
OR
Straight women who get turned on watching gay male porn - abnormal and disgusting and Jesus is going to kill you!
Glad you cleared that up.
My roomie almost got housing-prosecuted the year before we threw in together, since her old roommate had left and a fundie was applying to get the spot, to get away from her sexiling roomie. Problem was, although S. looks like a good match, quiet living and all, her room was full of gay porn. The fundie would not have liked it.
Saying no still netted her trouble, but I can only imagine the fireworks.
@Gabriel: Gundam Wing fic doesn't have to be gay! It's one of those series that actually has loads of worthwhile female characters, almost enough to pair up everyone, if you're so inclined.
Most of them still are gay, but that's beside the point. :D Trowa and Quatre are really cute. I wouldn't break them up, but I wouldn't really throw any of the other guys together...
id rather go to Hell than pretend to be anything other than the mortal enemy of such an evil and disgusting god.
the fact that it supposedly made me knowing this, and knowing i was Hellbound, is further evidence of how disgusting and evil it is.
Dah, poor girl. Ryanator's just trolling. Funny that 'not feminine' guys apparently 'look straight,' even while kissing other guys. Protective coloration for the win.
@Amadaun: Are you counting Trowa's probable sister as his distaff counterpart? Cuz that's a bad match, with the whole sister angle. Or maybe crazy Dorothy for Quatre, even though all they do is have that one mental battle? If you count both then there actually are enough for everyone. Huh. Never noticed that.
Come to think of it, why is that fandom so extremely gay? It's inevitable in pretty-boy series with no real women, but everyone has a potential opposite number, even if straight pairings for 3&4 are just as forced as sticking Heero and Duo with each other. Which should probably be classified as cruel and unusual punishment.
...aaand I could just have said that to you in person, but since I've already gone to the trouble of typing it, I'm not going to just delete it again.
I thought Jesus did the opposite of killing people o3o. maybe not his followers, but I'm pretty sure Jesus himself never said 'mine enemies must die.' but, what do I know. I've only actually READ the bible.
The tender and charming love story of David and Jonathan.
...nope, not seeing any condemnation of their relationship by God himself in the Bible (just as there's no condemnation of homosexuality by Jesus himself , in the New Testament).
Therefore not only your argument, but your religion as a whole, is invalid.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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