(In answer to: “What if Superman met Jesus Christ?”)
Jesus is real and conquered death, unlike those that would like to believe in concocted characters from Krypton who could not even overcome Kryptonite. I am sad for those who believe in fairy tales and superheroes who have no basis in historical fact because you will be judged by the king of kings, who is not amused.
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Jesus Christ, who had never existed in the present, now existed in the past. And when once the act of forgery was forgotten, he would exist just as authentically and upon the same evidence as Socrates or Queen Cleopatra.
Buck Master’s Jesus sounds like a real asshole who has no sense of humor, and judges harshly those that possess one. Unworthy of any kind of royal title for that fact alone.
He sounds like someone I would dearly love spending five seconds next to on the bus, let along for eternity. *sarcasm*
Superman could teach Jesus to lighten the fuck up. He would, if either him or Jesus actually existed.
Superman came back to life, and versions of Superman are shown to be amune to the effects of Kryptonite due to his past exposure to it and building up a tolerance. Superman is also pretty much a living solar battery and has stored up so much solar energy at this point in the comics he practically immortal.
I love Superman.
“Fundie is utterly alien towards the concept of humor, part #986465″.
Jesus is real and conquered death, unlike those that would like to believe in concocted characters from Krypton who could not even overcome Kryptonite.
For a demigod, Jesus was rather easily tortured to death by mere, primitive mortals. Supes on the other hand, is technically a “mere mortal”, yet most full-on gods could not even wound him, let alone kill him.
Seriously, the great thing about Supes is that, no matter how godlike his power is, he still sees nothing , no person and no task, as beneath him. He will always help anyone with the smallest things out of the goodness of his heart. Choke on that! The sheer idealism of Superman in general (both character and story) is just very uplifting in these “dark and gritty” times, and makes me hopeful that some people can be trusted with power over others.
And finally, if Jesus is real and conquered death, then where the f*ck is he now?
You obviously missed “What if”, you div.
so… Context is a major point. Were Superman to arrive in Roman times, the resulting historical upheaval (do they accept him as a god? does he break Jor-El’s instruction and meddle in human affairs?) would be a far higher priority in any possible scenario. In the event of a meeting, I reckon they would thrash out a plan together but that it would not involve Jesus dying, even if he wanted to.
I did wonder once on Yahoo Answers what would have happened if Jesus met Caligula (since their heyday was only a few years separate). Most of the answerers thought that things would go very badly for Jesus, perhaps even worse than things did anyway.
Pffft! Jesus conquered death, but iron chariots are god's kryptonite.
I am sad for those who think they believe but are woefully ignorant of the canon. Read the book, poser!
Jesus is real
From the original created by George Barris to the 'Tumbler', the Batmobile has become such a tangible part of the whole Dark Knight scenario by DC Comics, it's now a legally protected, copyrighted & trademarked 'character' in itself: even with those in between, from the first film one by Anton Furst to the various designs in the Warner Bros. animated works & "Arkham" videogames by Rocksteady Studios.
The chariot found amongst Tutankhamun's artefacts in his tomb. DNA analysis proved that his father was Akhenaten.
You know where I'm going with this, Fucked Master. PROTIP: Ramses II: worshipped as a god. His DNA analysable body does his existence case no harm whatsoever.
Frankly, considering the lack of forensic, least of all archaeological evidence to back up your 'claim', there's more evidence that Wonder Woman's plane actually exists than your J-boy ever will.
What if Superman met Jesus Christ?
Well, they’d shake hands and have a soda together. Since Superman was raised as a nice Methodist farm boy named Clark Kent, he’d probably have a decent respect for the man who doubles as his faith’s Supreme Deity.
Jesus, in turn, would see Superman’s dedication to bettering the world and helping others and say “Well done, good and faithful servant”.
If Superman is in “Clark Kent” mode, he’d conduct an interview and have Jimmy Olsen document the whole thing on film so no one with say Clark’s crazy. Jesus would refute the stupider stuff the fundies spew and demand that they care about the downtrodden and less about what Joe & Dave’s sex life or little Billy’s choice of entertainment.
Then they’d share a hearty hug and peacefully part ways. The End.
Really, what do you think would happen, Mr. Bucket Mustard, Former Poobah of Business Litigation Stuff?
@SpukiKitty #92870
I can actually see that happen.
Jesus would refute the stupider stuff the fundies spew and demand that they care about the downtrodden and less about what Joe & Dave’s sex life or little Billy’s choice of entertainment.
Honestly, scenarios like this make me wish Jesus would show up already like the doomsday preaches keep saying. If only to hear Jesus tell them to their faces “you’re wrong, you’re assholes, and none of you is going to be raptured to heaven like this”.
Oh really, I thought they were both cartoon characters. However, Darius I was a real historical figure and he would probably not be amused, because that was HIS title.
“I Darius, the great king, king of kings, king of countries, king on this wide earth, son of Hystaspes, the Achaemenid.”
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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