Colonel-Knight-Rider and Friends #fundie #elitist #racist #wingnut

Colonel-Knight-Rider and Friends #fundie #elitist #racist #wingnut twitter.com

(An entire thread that captured some of Colonel Knight Rider’s little Discord group where they’re trying to push a “reformation” of DeviantArt. It shouldn’t be a surprise their reform is, well, terrible. Here’s some that really stood out.)

Colonel Knight Rider:
Okay. @everyone these are our proposed ideas for a DA reform bill so far:
Make the site unable to use for anyone under 18.
Make our pages private.
Pay to have multiple accounts.

…

Towers of Obscure:
I'm strongly AGAINST paid sites. They have strings attached that make it hard to keep a home.
BRANHAS:
It would keep out the commies like Xhe and people that couldn't afford to pay... keeping it safe for
decent people.
Towers of Obscure:
So you're implying a "the rich get richer" philosophy? Have it free for Americans but paid for everyone
else? Did you forget that Claire is Canadian? Try thinking about her and everyone else!
BRANHAS:
Claire is wealthy

—
Colonel Knight Rider:
I reported another Xhe sockpuppet. This one doxxed my last name.
For that reason, I don't want to say what it was.
I want to harm him..her...them...no, IT. Because I refuse to believe it is even human.
It is nothing more than a delusional, hate-spouting machine looking for reasons to get angry, With no
regard for the laws it claims to abide by.
It also calls the Chinese a minority. Even though most people in the world are Chinese.
It must die.
It is too stupid to live.
It cannot be reasoned with

22 comments

Disinformation is necessary.
Soon, true Mario crew will be reveal.
Tommy Wiseau is Mario.
Tailor Swift is Princess Peach.
Tom Hanks is Luigi.
Bowser is Barrack Hussein Obama.
Written, directed, produced Antia Sarkeesian.
Trust the plan!

It would keep out the commies like Xhe and people that couldn't afford to pay... keeping it safe for decent people.

He is so blunt in contrasting people who are insufficiently wealthy with “decent people”.

Towers of Obscure:
So you're implying a "the rich get richer" philosophy? Have it free for Americans but paid for everyone
else? Did you forget that Claire is Canadian? Try thinking about her and everyone else!
BRANHAS:
Claire is wealthy

Moral myopia at its finest.

I want to harm him..her...them...no, IT. Because I refuse to believe it is even human.
It is nothing more than a delusional, hate-spouting machine looking for reasons to get angry, With no
regard for the laws it claims to abide by.
It also calls the Chinese a minority. Even though most people in the world are Chinese.
It must die.
It is too stupid to live.
It cannot be reasoned with

Yes, he did go there. And I am pretty sure that Xhe is not anywhere close to Caamib.

Also:

It is too stupid to live.

Says the one who was easily tricked into believing that some random jerk on the web is not only a serial killer, not even just a member of an Ancient Conspiracy, but verily an actual supervillain with actual superpowers…

Actually, only 18% of people in the world are Chinese.

Even though most people in the world are Chinese.

Apparently these people have never heard of India.

I suggest you look up Chris-Chan on Kiwi Farms. That person is the very foundation of that forum devoted to what is known as the 'Lolcow'.

...or perhaps you daren't: precisely because of you hearing about such. After all, C-C is acknowledged as the most documented person on the internet, so it's extremely difficult for anyone who has been on the internet for long enough without hearing of that name at least.

And just the concept of that name hits a little too close to home for someone like you.

While it's changed from a registered users-only forum (mainly to prevent an influx of refugees from r/The_Donald: their 'Articles & Happenings' section - accessible only to registered users - is a /pol/-esque containment area for that site's rabid MAGAts) to registering on an invitation-only basis, one can be a 'True & Honest Fan' via a one-time fee, or not. As for what you're suggesting, keep it up. Who knows?

Perhaps you'll have a thread on you detailing your activities that make you a bovine of the Lolling species, Bobby...!

Because unless the original Lolcow gets lucky and thus begins the Homeless Saga, the milk will dry up as that person enters the info hole that is the Prison Saga. But then, nature abhors a vacuum...!

You write 'stories', Bob. I suggest you read those that are known as Cautionary Tales.

What may end as a series of forgotten threads on KF is only too real.

Fact really is stranger than fiction.

The Knight’s Fall

When Colonel Knight Rider returned home, he found police cars standing in front of Elsie’s castle. Worried, he picked up his pace. As he came closer, to his horror and disbelief, he saw the officers lead his paramour into a car in handcuffs. He drew his magnificient claymore.
The police started to close in. “Robert Hamish macDiarmid, you are under arrest. Sur…” Sir Robert started to charge - prompting the officers to fire their neutraliser guns. While his armour did slightly increase the Knight’s physical attributes, it proved insufficient to overcome the sticky foam, and he came to a stop just as he reached lunging distance of the leading officer - who, to his shock, turned out to be none other than his sidekick, Detective Max Ent.
“Robert Hamish Diarmid, also known as Colonel Knight Rider, you are hereby arrested on charges including your role as ‘Director of the Treasury’ in the ‘Kingdom of Whitecrown’ micronation scam, several charges of use of excessive force and the assassination of a foreign head of state. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used…”
“But, but, Princess Emerald…”
“…does not have the authority to release territories as sovereign states without the approval of the Parliament by at least seventy-five percent, and indeed, she is herself currently investigated for acceptance of bribes.”
“No, no, no… also, I, the most honourable and gracious knight, would never engage in excessive force!”, Robert insisted.
“Comrades Linod and Cloob, Doctor Alexei Nyet, the survivors of the Scoop-N-Scram massacre and many others would disagree”, Max replied sternly. “Anyways,: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in court. You have the right to talk to a lawyer for advice before we ask you any questions. You have the right to have a lawyer with you during questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. If you decide to answer questions now without a lawyer present, you have the right to stop answering at any time.”
“Oh, how could you betray me so, Max???”, Colonel Knight Rider intoned melodramatically.
“I was an undercover investigator the entire time. Although due to your arrogance, gullibility and self-righteousness. I really had no need for much cover. To be honest, I was overqualified for the job.” Max turned to his men. “Take him away.”
As the officers dragged the disgraced superhero to the police van, he screamed: “This cannot be! I am Colonel Knight Rider! I am Virtue! I am Honour! I am the Shining Light of Dodron! I am perfect in the eyes of…”
"I am so glad that I won’t have to pretend to be this conceited jerk’s friend anymore”, murmured Max.

THE END

@Yutolia #102319
Even though most people in the world are Chinese.

Apparently these people have never heard of India.

Or could it be that CKR uses ‘Chinese’ as a catch-all term for all Asians?

@Citizen_Justin #102316, @Yutolia #102319

Well, for what it’s worth, China is still more populous than India (although apparently, now it’s by “mere” fifty million) and the Han (who make up about 90% of China’s population) are the largest single ethnic group.

@Malingspann #102335

Could very well be, the idea that China is the only thing in Asia is sadly common. For some people Asia may as well be on another planet.

It would keep out the commies like Xhe and people that couldn't afford to pay... keeping it safe for
decent people

“Decent people” who are making graphic description of the tortures they would want to use on opponents?

And, you know, there’s wealthy liberals too. Do you want to remove poor Conservatives?

It also calls the Chinese a minority. Even though most people in the world are Chinese

You confound the macro and the micro scale: there are territories where Chinese are the minority population.

May a cool black Trans-Am with an advanced A.I. and the voice of Anthony Daniels use you as a racetrack, Colonel Nut Rotten.

can anyone give me some context of this whole thing? like, who is this xhe person they’re talking about?

@CocoSmiles #102373
From what I’ve gathered, Xhe is some Chinese DeviantArt user who was mean to Bobby so he imagines her to be some archvillain of Communist China.

If you want something you can hog all to yourself and kick everyone off of if they do not offer tithes for the high honour of being second class users for you to abuse and lord some inherent sense of superiority over for no other reason than the dirt under your feet how about instead of trying to wrest a site you hate from the people who made it you put in the work and resources and you fucking make your own?

Fuck. It’s a microcosm of Nationalism in a website. Dehumanizing sentiments and everything.

@Bastethotep #102337

Right, but you know facts have nothing to do with Bobby’s “logic”.

I love the story ending. Better than Bobby could ever do himself!

@Bastethotep #102412
@CocoSmiles #102373

Yeah Xhe is some troll that’s been hassling the ol’ Colonel, couple times I saw was some low-effort stuff but enough that people were spewing a ton of death threats, and then wondered why they got banned as well.

It’s really telling that when it comes to any sort of trolling be it Niam or Xhe or whoever thinks he’s just too high and mighty, KR would rather make it into some showoff quest to prove himself the struggling but overall victorious superhero. He wants a “villain” to his egotistical story and make it all about him (journals show the trolling has taken a larger toll on Claire but you don’t see KR being forefront about that), and just so happens his “solution” to this problem is an outlet for his racism and classism. "Sorry poor kids, Deviantart is going to be solely for my cut-and-paste self-insert, maybe if you’re lucky I’ll let you praise it!”. Every time KR has a power trip, the mask (sorry, “buckyball helmet” or fucking whatever) slips.

e:

@Bastethotep #102333
Given that Max was based entirely off his previous “squire” I could absolutely see this is how the guy views KR now. He was a pretty good kid despite KR inserting himself into his friends’ comic stuff, can’t imagine he’s too happy with him as an adult now.

@rustyloot #102441

Given that Max was based entirely off his previous “squire”

Curious - Max’s template does not seem to show up in those author’s notes where he talks who a given character is based on (I checked for writing this story)…

@Passerby #102413

Because taking things that other people built and then taking all the credit and ruining the original thing is what colonialist nationalists like Bobby are all about.

@Bastethotep #102442

Same model (like legit uses the same base) made by Thanous for his avatar and original comic and in-story KR’s “sidekick”.

@Yutolia #102471

Describes everything from his art style to his goddamn name. It reminds me of Sonic OCs but those had the excuse of usually being made by teens.

Also the fact KR wants to block minors… what sense does that even make?? Is that related to how he wanted any LGBTQ art blocked from anyone under 18? Fucking hell.