And on the 6th day God created for Adam classic khakis, primarily made from cotton, with a plain front, long, deep pockets for a wallet, and a strong, sturdy belt loop to keep them up. And He saw that it was good.
He then created the button down shirt from finely twilled wool, with 3-1/4" long button collar points, a front pocket, and button up cuffs, so that Adam could wear his sleeves at the wrist or elbow. And He saw that it was good.
Then He proclaimed "let thy garments be available in Small, Medium, Large, and X-Large so that others might fit into them comfortably." And it was so. And He proclaimed, "Let thy garments be available in various colours so that you can mix and match, and make a nice little wardrobe." And it was so.
Then God observed what brilliant fashion He had created and opened a store with which to sell his creations. He created displays, and "thin mirrors," and store clerks to tell Adam "That looks so good on you. Like really." And God saw great profit, and expanded to a chain. And he saw that it was good.
Then the Snake approached Adam and Eve, and told them of a great fabric that even God could not wear. And the Snake showed Adam polyester, and sin was introduced to the world. And God called to Adam "How can you dress in such tacky fashion?" And God expelled Adam and Eve from Eden forever to wander in sweat pants, and tube tops, in a land He called Alabama.
Years later God looked upon his fashion culture, and saw that it was corrupted. His creations were being created in sweat shops, and sold for next to nothing in places called "Wal-Mart." And He saw that to save money, clothing was being made from combinations of cotton, and lycra, and wool, and polyester. And God said "Thou shalt not mix fabrics. It won't breathe well." And God condemned the gays because they had good taste, and yet they profited from this blasphemy.
God commanded his outlet manager Noah to collect two of each garment, and store them away on an Ark to be rereleased as "retro" fashions later, as he flooded the marketplace with cheap imitations, and black market knock-offs. And the fashion world was corrupted evermore. Then God showed Noah a rainbow, a sign to Noah that He would never delve into the fashion industry again, and that some colours really do clash.
This is the story of the God of the Gap. Amen.