Prayer is conversation with God; the intercourse of the soul with God, not in contemplation or meditation, but in direct address to him. Prayer may be oral or mental, occasional or constant, ejaculatory or formal.
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Holy fucking shit.
Now they ejaculate prayers?
Or do they ejaculate whilst praying?
All this fucking-god-and-cumming talk has me excited.
tee hee hee! He said "ejaculatory." Do you also have intelligent... intercourse with God too?
Beyond the middle school humor, this is just basic religion, and not that fundie.
Edit: Oh, I didn't notice he had actually said intercourse...
Can you name a 4 letter word, ending in K that means 'intercourse'?
This guy may not be a POE. I've met fundies who are totally oblivious to what they're saying. A woman once told me (while trying to convert me) that she had a hole in herself before accepting Jesus. She said she kept trying to fill the hole with men, but it didn't work. Only Jesus could fill her hole. ha ha ha
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Wait... wrong Poe.
"Prayer is conversation with God; the intercourse of the soul with God, not in contemplation or meditation, but in direct address to him. Prayer may be oral or mental, occasional or constant, ejaculatory or formal."
Okay, we've surpassed Freudian slip here and reached a whole new level of wrong...
There are posters on telephone poles around here which when translated say "Jesus is coming! Are you ready?"
NOW I know what they're talking about.
P.S.
Reading the page, I noticed two things:
1) Not a Poe.
Apparently even they admit that their is no proof of God answering prayers since the days of Jonah.
Ummm ... there is indeed a form of prayer known as "ejaculatory." Irish priests came up with it to encourage people (especially men) to stop swearing profane oaths. So instead of saying "Fuck!" when you hit your thumb with a hammer, you would say, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!!"
Sorry, guys - it's legit.
Still funny as all get-go, though. :)
"Prayer is conversation with God; the intercourse of the soul with God, not in contemplation or meditation, but in direct address to him. Prayer may be oral or mental, occasional or constant, ejaculatory or formal."
Does it say something about me that, when I glanced at this, the words "intercourse", "oral", and "ejaculatory" jumped out at me?
This isn't that fundie, just regular Christian - but it's unintentionally funny.
What the fucking hell? is he seriously saying that he has sex with god, The GOD, Yahweh, while praying; I wonder if this is a dude, if so than that makes god gay.
Prayer is the act of talking to one's own self and nobody else. Even ejaculatory prayer, which may take such forms as "Oh God I'm coming" or "Oh God let him come soon, my favourite show starts in five minutes."
Such prayers will be met with the same response as all others: absolutely zilch. But thanks for the laugh, anyway.
Its bad enough when they insist that Christianity isn't a religion, its a "relationship with god."
But, dang, why do so many of them sound like creepy stalkers? There must be an entire division of angels cranking out restraining orders on god's behalf.
* KABOOM * * KABOOM * bullshit meter repair needed ;(
intercourse of the soul ? ejaculatory ?
wut ? really, wut ?
I think continuous , oral, ejaculatory, intercourse is a contradiction .
@1352289
Maybe it's a vision of heaven... particularly of the Islamic variety. Perhaps 72 virgins is what it takes to achieve such wonders.
Intercourse!? *spits out Coke* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA,,,,HAHA,,,Haaaaaa...
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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