[In response to Sherri: I’m battling with this—and feel like my husband is being controlling but he says he’s will within the confines of the scriptures so he’s not. Some examples he scolds me like a child when I 1) bought a dress a few days before an event instead of two weeks, 2) set up a play date in 3 weeks instead of 1-2 3) tells me how to dress, how to wear my hair 4) that I can’t visit a friend in another state— and then he says things like if I don’t want meatloaf on Mondays because I just don’t want it, I’m the head of the household so just deal with it. Is this controlling or do I have a “spirit of feminism?”]

Sherri,

Sometimes husbands may come off as being harsh in the same way that parents may come off as harsh with their children. Your husband might not always be right in the way he says things to you. Also he may be one of those people who likes things done way of ahead of time where as other people(like me and perhaps you) do things more at the last minute.

The thing to understand though is that as a wife God wants you to in essence “mold yourself” to how your husband operates. If he likes things done way ahead of time then do that.

Sherri – the Bible says to submit to your husband in “everything”(Ephesians 5:24). I know that is daunting for most Christian women when they first read and understand the gravity of that statement. Now from the husband’s perspective I tell men all the time to cut their wives some slack and remember to show them grace and mercy and to be flexible. But from your perspective as a wife even if your husband is not being as flexible as he should be on some things you need to submit to him.

He has the right to tell you how he likes you to dress, keep you hair, what friends you can visit and what he wants for dinner.

None of these things are wrong from a Biblical perspective of the relationship of a husband to his wife. Now perhaps the way he goes about it he could do in a more gentle and loving way.