Unicorns are an ACTUAL creature that used to exist, but, are now extinct.
I don't care if there is no archaelogical evidence to support the existence of the unicorns. The BIBLE says they existed!
And I don't mean these modern, altered, man-made versions of the Bible, I mean the ORIGINAL King James Version, the ONLY version AUTHORIZED by GOD! If the KJV was good enough for Moses and Jesus, then it's good enough for me!
If you don't believe in unicorns, then you don't believe in the Bible, and you are going to Hell!
38 comments
@Bill:
Poe's Law. Created by Nathan Poe years ago, who was a user on some Christian forum. Basically says that no matter how ridiculous a parody of fundamentalism is, there will always be someone out there who mistakes it for the real thing because the real thing can BE that ridiculous.
The references to "unicorns" in your Bible were the result of the mistranslation of a Hebrew word. The writer was actually referring to the wild ox. Ancient bas-reliefs showed the animal from one side, so that only one horn was visible. After the wild ox became extinct, people were unaware that it had two horns. Therefore, it was named "unicorn," or, "one horn."
If the KJV was good enough for Moses and Jesus, then it's good enough for me!
Nah, nobody could be that stupid in real life.
"If the KJV was good enough for Moses and Jesus, then it's good enough for me!"
You really do live in Texarkana, don't you?
Wikipedia's definition of a Poe:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe_%28The_Legend_of_Zelda%29
Poes are ghost enemies, ones of concentrated hatred toward the world that freely roams graveyards(Forums) and other haunted locales in Hyrule(the Internet), as well as the overworld and dark places. They always carry their signature clothing(zip-up jackets with long sleeves?).
:P
I read Genesis and never saw the unicorn bit anywhere. And I was flipping through the KJV.
Rather, I found the unicorn thing on a tape my papaw made for me where the Irish Rovers were singing it, and a book by Shel Silverstein.
"If you don't believe in unicorns, then you don't believe in the Bible, and you are going to Hell!"
No, I don't.
No, I don't.
Joined the Facebook group already.
@ Bill: Poe's Law: Any good parody is indistinguishable from the real thing.
Yep, unicorns exist. They live in Italy.
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=y4npajXFWcc
Of course the fact that it's a mutant that will probably never breed because it's at a severe disadvantage for head butting, kind of blows your religious theory to hell.
First of all, the KJV you have is just a 1700s-1800s version of the 1611 English translation of The Hellinized Jewish Septuigant Old Testamet via the Latin Vulgate and NOT the original Hebrew Old Testament that people in Moeses's day used via the dead sea scrolls plus the Textus Receptus. Secondly, English was not around in Judea during Jesus's day...Greek & Aramaic was. Futhermore, the modern versions are not as satanic as you think. In fact, alot of them use the Textus Receptus and Septuigant (the exact ones the KJV used) as their main text! The NIV and many modern biles uses the Textus Receptus in their footnotes of the New Testament! Finally, the KJV translators themselves would laugh in yor face, Tex Arkana! Read the whole entire preface the translators made in the 1611 version (without cherry picking and twisting it out of contex) and see what I mean.
"If the KJV was good enough for Moses and Jesus, then it's good enough for me!"
I wasn't aware that Moses and Jesus spoke English, let alone managed to survive into the eighteenth century.
Hopefully Poe, but if not...
Why did God wait until 1611 to authorize a Bible version?
Moses and Jesus lived in 1611? I thought Moses supposedly lived about a thousand years before Jesus and that Jesus supposedly died about 35 CE...
I find unicorns more believable than the Bible, actually, but both are almost certainly fictional.
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire says they still exist.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.