Masturbation is a type of adultery imho. Why? Because sex is supposed to be between a man and his wife; ONLY. With someone else, it's adultery even if that "someone else" is self.
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So, if my wife beats me off while I rub her, thats fine, but if I wank while watching her rub herself, thats two lots of adultery (and as Nibien said, probably gay as well).
Therefore according to Issachar it is possible for me to cheat on my wife while watching her cheat on me and not have anyone else in the room. That is kinky, fucked up and trippy all rolled into one, I may have to try it.
Something tells me you don't understand the concept of "someone else".
Also, from your "logic" that makes god the biggest murderer of all, considering only one sperm out of millions actually makes it into the egg, so all those other potential kids are going to kark it. What a monster your god is.
Somebody should give that person a course on semantics and explain what "somebody else" means. And to teach them how masturbation works. It's not sex "with somebody". It's the manual stimulation of the genitals in order to obtain pleasure. So, you're not having sex with yourself or somebody else.
Yeah, yeah, seen all this before. YAWN. If you aren't having any fun, no need to prevent other people from doing so.
I wonder if Miss Rosey R. Palm is jealous of Ms. Rosie L. Palmer . . .
Help, help, I'm schizophrenic. And so am I.
Wow, in the space of a few seconds I can unravel his flimsy argument.
If you're you, then by definition you can't be someone else as well as yourself. If you are, then you're a schizophrenic.
Didn't god make us? If that is true, then he made us capable of satisfying ourselves. Why would your god give us a feeling, and a way to obtain that feeling on our own, if he didn't want us to use it? In short, why did god create us as we are if we are to turn around and be anything but who we are?
What a quandary.
And don't forget about nocturnal emissions, Issachar. They may well be involuntary but they are a clear demnstration of how evil we humans are. Don't even get me started on those devil-ridden little fetuses that persist in touching themselves in an ungodly fashion, We humans are such a horrible product of the allmighty. It is no wonder that in the wake of such a failed creation he/she/it is so hateful toward us. I get angry too when a project I have put a lot of effort into fails that miserably. It just keeps remining me of what a poor workman I am.
@:approximate
quite, it's actually fornication.
For Shame Issachar, I know my sins better than you do.
Awesome! Now my friends can't lord it over me for being single!
"Hey Septic, what were you up to last night?"
Adultery is sex with someone else's wife...doesn't seem to apply to someone else's husband, though.
I don't think Palmela Handerson is married.
Rob one little bank, they don't call you Issachar the bank robber.
Kill just one person, they don't call you Issachar the murderer.
But wank off just once and sure as hell they'll call you Issachar the jack-off.
I was reading the thread over at RR and if this quote isn't from a troll I don't know what is:
Issachar, I searched the forum for "Victorious Secrets" but nothing came up.
Well when you put it that way...I'm such a whore.
@ SurfinSeaOtter:
Sorry dude, was that yours? I thought it was mine. :p
Oh, wow. I've been cheating on my girlfriend and having a torrid affair with myself almost every day for ten years.
That makes it so much hotter!
Thank you, Issachar! I will enjoy masturbation even more now, all because of you.
(*sings *):
I wanna sex me up! X3
I love me , who do you love?!
'Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone you love.'
-Woody Allen
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'Fapping is the right of all sentient beings'
-Onanus Prime
Now get a grip on yourself. X3
...oh, and this is a Char:
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[/"Gundam UC"]
But isthis achar?:
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[/"Moretsu Pirates"] X3
Honey, when you're old enough to get married, you'll find that your spouse probably appreciate you being a bit adulterous with yourself from time to time. Regardless of how much two people love each other, it's highly unlikely that you'll have the exact amount, and timing of, lust for sex.
What if you get married and then found out that your wife is only into dominatrix sex, but you want the missionary every other Friday before lights-out? Something so important as sex ought to be tried out with the person you intend to spend your life with, before you commit yourself for life. Or are you also willing to marry someone you haven't seen, talked to, don't know the name of or his/her favorite Stephen King novel? Why should sex be not-until-marriage, and all these other things are obviously things you've known and done before you decide to marry?
@realityman
"And don't forget about nocturnal emissions, Issachar."
Weren't such 'incidents' used as the basis for the legends of Succubi? How they'd have sex with you whilst you slept.
Then I wonder why - alongside Felicia - Morrigan Aensland is my favourite character in the videogame "DarkStalkers", and the related crossover games by Capcom. [/MAME]
@Marrik
"so rubbing against a blanket alone in my room qualifies as sex?"
Better not tell Issakira here about Dakimakura then, lest the mega-paradox makes his head implode. One word: 'Waifu ' [/4chan /a/]
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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