Star Wars is feminist anti-masturbation propaganda. The Jedi, the race of humans with Mary Sue magical powers, are supposed to be perfect, and part of their perfection is abstinence. This includes not masturbating, as it is emotional. I'd say that being a victim of Star Wars' pro-chastity message is worse than getting Jesus Christ spelled wrong.
39 comments
@TheEndOfSanityIsClear
Jeebus Krist, is everything part of the Evil Feminist world domination plot, let me guess the squirrels are their secret agents, watching us through our windows to make sure we don't masturbate.
This dude's an incredibly obvious Poe. I mean, I find him entertaining, but still, this site is for mocking (or reeling in horror at) legit fundies.
If you think 'wielding your flesh lightsabre' is a bad thing, you must have Blue Balls the size of both Death Stars by now.
And as it's St. Patrick's Day, even the Irish Sith Lord Kyle O'Ren would suggest you get in touch with your 'Dark Side': it's quicker, easier, and more seductive, t'be sure! X3
Go on: reveal yourself to the Jedi. [b]Do it![/b] (Oo-er! Fnarr-fnarr!)
It's amazing how desperate some people are to equate something with a stand they don't believe in.
Jedi are humans and aliens, male and female and they're only abstinent because they are not allowed to form attachments - though many do, anyway.
Just because they don't show them rubbing the roach, doesn't mean they don't.
@TheEndOfNappingIsFear
"but feminists want to end male masturbation as part of their new world order."
Well, the First Order has Captain Phabulous .
You could work that into your nice little Conspiracy Theory. [/Doug Piranha-levels of sarcasm]
...or as others are suggesting you're actually just a Poe (Dameron), are you just blowing Snoke ?! X3
This guy is such a blatant poe he isn't even funny anymore.
".Not quite, but I have heard rumors of scientists testing miniature cameras on small animals such as insects and spiders. I am certain that feminists will use this to spy on men."
Case in point.
Anyone with better knowledge on the expanded universe please correct me.
Sex is only directed mentioned and prohibited in the second trilogy and even then it was in the context of marriage. It probably was as much a zen Buddhist enlightenment rule as it was a rule for consolidating power within the Jedi order. This was when the order was large and powerful, much like an analogue to the height of the Catholic Church.
By the time of the original trilogy, sex (let alone masturbation) wasn't even a topic. Maybe Yoda would have prohibited it but the Jedi order was gone at that point. What's left to protect? Even the enlightenment teachings may be scattered and fragmented beyond repair. Luke would have started from scratch and may have never gotten the anti-sex memo.
TL;DR: Unless some knows better than me, Jedis can have sex now and OP fails his metaphors.
Edit: Fixed grammar.
"are supposed to be perfect, and part of their perfection is abstinence. This includes not masturbating, as it is emotional. I'd say that being a victim of Star Wars' pro-chastity message is worse than getting Jesus Christ spelled wrong."
Luke Skywalker - the [i]last[/i] Jedi - could be [i]gay[/i].
And in another Sci-Fi scenario: "Judge Dredd" in "2000 AD", they say 'Grud' ('God') and instead of 'Jesus', 'Jovis '. Nobody's complained to that British comic about that*.
NEXT!
*-...or if they did, "2000 AD"'s editor Tharg the Mighty would send a Rigelian Hotshot their way.
...as he calmly munched on his favourite food: Terran polystyrene cups.
But then, you are a Nonscrot who isn't a Squaxx dek Thargo , or you would know about 'Jovis'. Thus you are a Grexnix .
@ Anon-e-moose:
In the Expanded Universe, Luke Skywalker marries Mara Jade and has at least one child with her, so...if he is in fact gay, he's incredibly deep in the closet in a universe where there is little or no fuss over who you sleep with.
Sorry Moosey, but I think the yaoi fanfic writers are wrong on this one.
@Liz_7
Well, in the "expanded universe" books that were set after the movies (which I haven't really read much of), Luke eventually has a wife and children, so he obviously wasn't operating under those old rules anymore. That whole storyline is now dead, but a lot of people think we'll find out in the next movie that he has a daughter.
Star Wars being feminist propaganda, well, it's a stretch, but yest, the last movie includes some feminist messaegs. Which is not a problem to me.
But anti-masturbation? What do they drink???
@Liz_7:
If you're willing to accept the Expanded Universe as canon because Disney is clearly made up of delusional money-grubbers, then it's complex.
The salient point is that the Jedi are supposed to avoid emotional attachments - both because emotions get in the way of their serenity, and because attachments get in the way of their neutrality.
However , whether this extends to a ban on intimacy varies. As mentioned, the "New" Jedi Order founded by Luke Skywalker has no such ban; partially this is because he has to take what he can get in terms of adult candidates, early on, and partially it's because he has disagreements with the fundamental concept.
Much earlier - in the Knights of the Old Republic era, set about 4000 years before the movies - it was a lively topic of discussion, with bans on intimacy and marriage falling in and out of favor over the centuries and a significant number of Jedi being either secretly in favor or rabidly against. Some of them actually did marry, and even have Jedi children; some but not all of these faced official sanction.
At one point, Lucas indicated that Jedi wouldn't be banned from sex that didn't include attachment, but as far as I know official sources have pretty much pretended this statement never happened and I don't blame them.
"feminists want to end male masturbation as part of their new world order"
Why? Revenge for being told while in their teens: "BOYS masturbate! That's just boys being boys! A GIRL is to have greater moral character than that!!"?
Dude; It's you Patriarchal jerks who are restricting sexuality. We Feminists are fine with masturbation.
And we're not all "sex-negative anti-porn" dorks. A liberated woman is a sexual one! We just want to be sexual on our terms.
The Jedis had faults and were not perfect. Much of their fall was do to their restrictive, unemotional ways. They also allowed sex provided that it was a one-night-stand casual deal with no emotional attachment whatsoever. They just forbid romance, marriage and relationships.
The new Jedi would probably relax a lot of rules and the EU/Legends stories had a lot of Jedi romance going on.
You wanna fap over Slave-Bikini Leia or a cute Twilek girl, go right ahead.
I, myself She-Bop over Kylo Ren....[IMG]http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f226/SpukiKitty/Kylo%20The%20Alluring%20Hottie_zpso0tqcz8q.png[/IMG]
Nearly a year later, I'm going to be honest and say I regret outing myself as a Poe. It may have seemed obvious to some, but I could have done so much more with this character. I wonder if some MRAs would actually believe in Anita Sarkeesian's anti-masturbation conspiracy. In this post in particular, I think in hindsight I should have described in detail how James Earl Jones is locked in a permanent chastity cage crafted by Carrie Fisher herself and that he is suffering from horrible blue balls, going into detail about his sexual frustration. I know nobody cares anymore, but I just wanted to get that out.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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