Same here image Things crowd my prayers. I end up praying in the car as I am driving alot or just talking to Him throughout the day, it has become a habit and people probably think I have an imgainary friend or I am talking to myself if I am not carefull . The other thing that bugs me is at night I often fall asleep right in the middle of a prayer!!!! I apologize all the time for that. I just pray that our Lord understands and try to be better at my devotions. image
45 comments
As funny as praying to Invisible Jesus is, I'm more concerned with the fact that this guy prays while driving . I don't care how much you love God, when you're behind the wheel of a huge mass of metal going 30-55 MPH you fucking keep your mind on the task at hand.
"The other thing that bugs me is at night I often fall asleep right in the middle of a prayer!!!!"
Never drive at night, please.
Eh, i only give this comment a 2 out of 5 on the fundie chart, he's got faith, but this comment lacks the real crazy that deserves anything higher.
Heartstorm should reread Matthew 6:7-8: "But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen [do]: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking. Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him."
"Things crowd my prayers. I end up praying in the car as I am driving [...]"
And everyone bitches about how cell phones are dangerous when you're driving.
"people probably think I have an imgainary friend or I am talking to myself if I am not carefull."
Stop talking to yourself and people wont think that. Why is it you feel you need to speak aloud anyway? Isn't your deity omniscient and scanning all of your thoughts anyway, looking for that one sinful one that will send you to burn in the flames of Hellfire for eternity?
"The other thing that bugs me is at night I often fall asleep right in the middle of a prayer!!!!"
Lazy bastard. If your deity existed and was as described you'd be a smoldering pile of ash by now for something like that.
"I apologize all the time for that. I just pray that our Lord understands and try to be better at my devotions."
I doubt it. Much of the Babble is devoted to pointing out that your deity has no use for those who don't follow the rules exactly or show the slightest bit of improper behavior toward it.
This isn't really all that fundie. Maybe the guy just can't think hard and move about without mumbling. Now if he were screaming in ecstatic tongues, then you'd have something, but this fellow's just a bit slow.
What I want to know is how this got rated up to a 4. It's slightly loopy, sure, but praying in and of itself isn't that huge of a deal, and it lacks the "I'm absolutely right and anybody who doesn't realize it is going to hell" angle needed for a high score. Maybe if he was praying for God to give AIDS to every gay person in the world or such, but as far as I know he could just be praying for stuff like Jesus helping the homeless, or for the clerk at Baskin-Robbins to feel bad about shortchanging him. 2 at the highest, and that's mostly for being dumb enough to pray while driving.
"I just pray that our Lord understands and try to be better at my devotions."
No, you're going to Hell. I'm sorry to have to tell you.
Imaginary friend, no, imaginary daddy, yes. Do all fundies have some sort of daddy issues? Was he off working to much and not spending any time with them?
Hey, I pray while I'm driving.
Or when I'm in a car.
Or when I'm anywhere near a moving vehicle.
Yes, cars scare me that much.
This one is bordering on sane and functional! Quick...we have to get him out of Rapture Ready, before the death-lusting zombies over there corrupt his weak, childlike mind! Hasten brothers! We must save the naive, airheaded religious manchild before he is indoctrinated into the somber cabal of braindead, suicidal fanatics!
If you tend to fall asleep during prayer and you pray while driving: don't pray while at the fucking wheel, numbnuts!
Allegory for Jesus: Why? He found Rapture Ready. He took time to sign up for an account. The damage is already done. There is little we can do except hope he finds his way here and realises what a fool he is. Actually... anyone with an active RR trolling account, hie thee over there and post a link to this!
@Dinomancer: earlier in the chapter, Jesus also condemns praying in public, and says those who do so "have their reward" (i.e., the admiration of others for their piety). The whole chapter is a good response to God-bothering fundies.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.