My neighbour has some flowers in her garden that proves the existence of God, she said. The chap who sits on the bench not far from the pub and likes talking to strangers says he likes talking to God too. This is just as well because, apparently, God is always talking to him. Mrs Williams in the next street is hoping to resume her daily nagging sessions with Mr Williams fairly soon. Mr Williams, rather foolishly, thought he'd escaped his wife's dedicated and rather fussy ministrations and has, for the last couple of years, been hiding out in the clouds/heaven, or thereabouts.
As you can see, I live in a world full of the signs of God's existence. In fact, I'm so knowledgeable about His continued existence among us, that many snippets of information are mine to divulge.
For instance:-
1) Did you know that God is deaf?
2) His favourite colour is invisible.
3) This next one's a common misunderstanding. Man wasn't built in God's image, but ceilings were.
4) His favourite place for a nice sit-down and a rest, away from all the noise and stress of the world, is inside your head.
5) He doesn't want your money, you're probably thinking Mammon there, but He knows that His cheerleaders actually do love your money, so he turns a blind eye.
6) One of His favourite hobbies is limb lengthening.
7) He's not fussy on sex, unless there be strange circumstances involving primarily others and not really Himself. I expect you'd already gathered that, doesn't take a genius etc. But is willing to indulge every few millennia in order to fulfill some incomprehensible and weird plans of His.
I got millions of other facts about God, but I'll save them for another day.
