I was taking a walk with my next door neighbor this morning, passing through the adjacent neighborhood as we always do during our walks. My neighbor and I were having "lady talk", discussing current events, and, walking our dogs in addition. Suddenly, as I stopped to untwist the leash that had gotten caught under my dog's leg, I began to peer around a noticed a rather peculiar sight.....THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD WAS EMPTY!!!!!! And while I turned out to be incorrect, I thought for quite sometime that the rapture could have occurred without us even knowing it!!!! Alasimage , it was simply a false alarm, as I once again got excited over nothing, though it made me realize just how excited I am to experience it!!!!image image image
103 comments
Freaks, freaks, freaks.
So sad.
@ schism: You're not alone.
And I have a sick little fantasy. I'd love to stand outside a fundie church and blow a trumpet into a megaphone. Oh, the reaction would be worth a night in jail.
You were excited of the thought that the rapture happened and you were left behind?
Shouldn´t it be a rather disturbing event for you, considering the fact that all of you firmly believe to be the ones that take a joyride to heaven together with Jesus? ;)
@schism
Yes, that little fist pumping, shouting bastard makes me want to inflict bodily harm on someone. They're all bad, but I hate that one especially.
OMG, what a fucking retard.
So, KarenWaits4Him experienced a situation that is described as "being left behind" and can't wait for the Rapture to happen? xD
And she likes dogs. That's another reason we won't get along well.
Though your body inexorably grows older and more feeble day by day, bit by bit, and you never experience a rapture, yet your mind remains firmly rooted in an infantile state. I find that amusing. Ha ha ha! Bet your dying to whoosh! Ha ha ha! (Imagine a multitude of juvenile animated emoticons, or whatever their called, here).
I thought for quite sometime that the rapture could have occurred without us even knowing it!!!!
You're right. It occurred in 1368. The people Left Behind© called it the "Black Death" because once the souls of the elect were removed and given new, perfect bodies, their old bodies broke out in black spots and putrefied.
You'll have to wait until 2375 to find out if you made the "second cut". I suspect most of the bigoted, judgmental hypocrites on RR won't.
I think maybe your brain was raptured while you were engaged in your '"lady talk"', whatever the hell that is. Oh, wait a minute, does it have anything to do with Emily Howard? (Little Britain tv show, for those who don't get the reference)
So the whole of your neighboring neighborhood would be "good" enough to be raptured? I seriously doubt that.
144000 is so few, around the world, that only their close friends will notice that they are gone. About that figure die each day, i guess.
It turned out that all the neighbors were just hiding from you, as usual, didn't it?
Also, I can't see why you'd think the whole neighborhood would be empty - don't you clowns exult over the idea that most people will be stuck here to burn?
Sounds kinda like me waiting for another rave.
The difference, however, is that the rave will actually happen.
And I have a sick little fantasy. I'd love to stand outside a fundie church and blow a trumpet into a megaphone
You've never heard a traditional Jewish shofar? They don't sound much like a modern brass trumpet at all, more like a bumblebee trapped in a jamjar.
Yes, that was the Rapture.
so, Karen's neighbor's disappear when they see her and her raptard friend walking down the street?
Someone should tell her that if she's still around to see the empty streets, it means that she's not getting raptured.
It's even a bit more ironic that she wasn't... "rapture ready" - having been caught completely unawares.
What the hell? "The neighborhood is empty and quiet" == creepy, yeah, but =/= RAPTCHER!
(And yes, I'll admit to walking just a bit *faster* and being a bit more *aware* of my surroundings when it gets too quiet like that, but that's probably a product of too many horror movies.)
That emote makes me want to strangle someone every time I see it.
Also, so stupid. I hope someone tells her that would've meant she was left behind.
I bet I know what you're getting for Christmas, a colouring book and crayons. Am I right?
You and the kids can spend Christmas day colouring together. You can colour in some flying rapturoids or Jesus coming again. It's really exciting isn't it! What colour will you do the whooshes coming from their arses?
I bet you passed colouring class with flying honours when you were in school. I bet you put your hand up in class, "Please miss. I want to be a colouring book colourer when I grow up!" Course, we all know you never did grow up, mentally anyway.
Did you do 'getting dressed yourself' classes when you were in school? I hope so. The lessons learned there will come in handy when your mommy and daddy die. Also, 'feeding yourself' lessons would've been useful in your case I'd imagine.
Anyhow, good luck with the colouring.
The most confusing part about this is, as others have pointed out, this is the very scenario that happens when you have been Left Behind. The fact that this one is celebrating it, is very weird, too weird to be a poe.
#950357
Am I the only one who finds that dancing smiley the most rage-inducing image this side of Emmanuel Goldstein?
5/3/2009 8:58:54 AM
Yeah I fucking hate that retarded "smiley" too. I went incognito on the RR site for a couple of hours before I was banned and every dumb mother fucker on that site uses that smiley. I had to swallow the rage or I might have carved my eyes out with a set of rusty keys.
If only the people who thought like the Rapture Readians do disappeared, I doubt the world wouldn't even notice. You certainly wouldn't have entirely empty neighbourhoods. Thankfully, fundies only make up a small portion of the population.
It's interesting that you failed to notice and realise that if it really was the rapture, you were obviously not included in the paradise-bound clique seeing that, you know, you were still on earth to witness the absence of everyone else. Fancy that. Do you think that could be a sign from above? *shudders*
Yeah, that's what happens when normal people go off to work and you're stuck at home having "lady talk" (douching comes to mind, but also maybe some deals at WalMart, or how to get cum stains out of sheets).
"I once again got excited over nothing, though it made me realize just how excited I am to experience it!!!!"
So you're excited about the notion that it's we Atheists, non-fundy Christians, Muslims etc who'll actually be Raptured, and you right-wing fundies who'll be left behind?
Is it Backwards Day on Ruptured Retards, or what?!
One moving smilie at a time, pleace. Unprepared people might have a seizure after that dancing attack.
So, you were happy to be left behind? Good for you...
What the hell is "lady talk"? Sounds like something concerning tampons and periods...
Not the smilies... anything but the smilies...
Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with RR's emoticons?
Most christian fundamentalists make me facepalm. The ones that beleive that God will bring about the end of the world during their lifetime creep me out. The kind that are HOPING for God to bring it during their lifetime REALLY scare me. I'm still staring at the dancing smiley's in horror. (By the way, I think this belongs in CSSTDT as well as FSTDT)
"I began to peer around a noticed a rather peculiar sight.....THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD WAS EMPTY!!!!!!"
PROTIP: The film "I Am Legend" is not a documentary
...oh, and time to break out my Anti-Ruptured Retards Smiley:
image
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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