God made man and woman and brought them together "face to face." Oral sex is of homosexual origin that replaces the normal "face to face" relationship God intended in a marriage.
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Well, at least this "face to face" idea doesn't restrict you to just missionary. The woman can be on top and it still be face-to face. Of course, I'm not about to give up oral sex, or any of the fun positions I enjoy.
What if you take a sharpie and draw a smiley face on the penis? Is oral sex then "face to face", and, therefore, ok?
Geez, dude. Put down the bible. There's nothing in it about oral sex anyway. Now climb out of your mommy's basement, treat those pimples and go out a get a date. Maybe if you're nice you'll gain a new perspective on oral sex.
Actually, God made animals first, and then they evolved, so I think doggy-style is the One True Way.
“God made man and woman and brought them together "face to face."”
"Oral sex is of homosexual origin”
"that replaces the normal "face to face" relationship God intended in a marriage.”
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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