I've had these feelingson and off for along time and have set a date.(first monday in february 2006)I'll be 30 I put a stipulation on it though if things change for the better and I can accomplish these things.
1.Find a good job (in computers,writing)
2.Find a virgin to marry
If I can't find one then I can't see myself getting married why would I marry a woman that couldn't think of her future mate as I have I saved myself why not her?
Even among "good" christian woman it's hard to find they say well I was out of the will of God ect.I mean so was I! and I still waited!And they don't want to say they sinned they say they made a "mistake". Hypocrites!everyone of them!They only say they were so they can get away with it "sleeping around" I don't see how they can say well God forgives me and he loves us,all I can say is give me a break!How can God forgive the sin of fornication and commiting adultry on your future mate and not suicide? I mean I've thought about this and can't see a real reason to stay on this cesspool of a planet if the two thing I want most in life aren't met by my deadline? I just can't see it or me living after 30.So as I see it I might only have about a year and a half left to live.