I remember once, before I was a christian, I was asleep, and woke up, but was kinda half asleep, or something, and I kept telling Satan that he was a b$@$ and f#$# him and stuff, then I kept feeling the bed shake like someone was puching me into the bed hard, the first time I thought it was funny, so I said it again, and it happend again, but I must have not liked it the second time because I didn't do it anymore, do you think this was a demon attack?
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I belive he's talking about something called 'sleep paralysis' where you wake up during deep REM sleep but your body's still numb and your mind is still dreaming. It happens to about 20% of the population and there's been a few other posts on here about it.
The thing is, a lot of those guys probably belive it was a demon attack.
<<< I belive he's talking about something called 'sleep paralysis' where you wake up during deep REM sleep but your body's still numb and your mind is still dreaming. It happens to about 20% of the population and there's been a few other posts on here about it. >>>
That sounds like it would be really cool, though kinda freaky. But it does seem a far more reasonable explanation than demons. (As does a really funky trip on some powerful hallucinogens, for that matter.)
Last time I spoke to Satan the line was garbled due to security scrambling, but he was receiving fellatio from Pat Robertson while Jerry Falwell was teabagging him and he was discussing ways to milk more money from Christians to stop them donating it to Charities to help the poor.
I concluded it was Satan - I suppose it could've been God - they sound the same.
Odd, the same thing happened to me the last time I drank too much tequila and fell asleep during sex. Word to the wise: Conking out during fellatio can is considerably more dangerous than invoking the wrath of the dark lord.
(On sleep paralysis: Did anyone else see that Discovery Channel documentary on sleep paralysis titled "Entities"? Thing scared the shit out of me for a week)
All serious here! I am 38 years old and have sleep paralysis 2 or 3 times a year. When I was a fundie, I thought they where demons just like yourself. They seem to be going away as I get older, nothing to worry about, it's just a sleep disorder!!
Yeeeaaahhhh, because when you HAVEN'T accepted Christianity the demons will be most interested in trying to get you to go to hell. Wait, something about that doesn't make sense... Oh right, according to christians, if you don't accept Christ you'll go to hell. So why would demons waste time with you and not someone who's already a christian? According to the Bible, isn't Satan's goal to take as many souls to hell with him as possible?
He wasn't a Christian, but felt like picking a fight with a deity who only exists in Christian Mythology?
This doesn't sit right with me.
I called god a $%##!!!@)(~ one time, and then I told the %^??> to go {[}]-() &&# himself and #@!~~*.
Nothing ever happened. I don't know if he did those things or not. How would I?
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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