He was an idiot.
This is a personal opinion. Worthless.
He thought he was special.
That appears to be the case - but I would ask, what is wrong with thinking oneself "special," if one's intent to is to use one's unique gifts to help others? Martin Luther King and Gandhi appear to have thought that they were "special" to... and they were right!
He thought there was a global flood.
I don't remember Jesus ever commenting directly on the extent of the flood. The only allusion I remember him making to the story is a vague reference to " as in the days of Noah," that could have been a metaphorical statement that used a popular story of the time as an illustration. Can you point me to the passage where Jesus says that a literal, global flood took place during the time of Noah?"
He thought stars were stuck in the firmament.
Again, I don't recall any passage of the gospels in which Jesus is said to make this statement. Can you point me in the right direction?
He cursed thousands of people to eternal hellfire because they didn't want to listen to his crap.
That's debateable. If anything, he seemed to condemn people because of their self-righteousness and religious dogmatism, not because "they didn't want to listen to his crap." The word he used to describe such condemnation was "gehenna," not "eternal hellfire." Do some research of the historical context in which this term was used.
He farted.
So do you.
He shat.
So do you.
He screwed guys - Mark was later edited to remove this.
Evidence?
The church also systematically befouled Mary Magdelene and erased his relationship with her.
It really amuses how people seem to think that whether or not Jesus had a relationship with Mary Magdalene would have an impact on his teachings. I don't think there is sufficient evidence to conclude that Jesus and Magdalene were an item, but even if they were - so what? Can't a holy man love a woman?
He was a man.
So are you, unless you are a woman.
He lied.
Example?
He cried.
And if you've never the done the same, you're a heartless bastard.
He admitted he came to start wars and cause division.
Bull. Jesus told Peter to put his sword away when Peter tried to defend him. Yes, he did say "I have not come to bring peace, but a sword." It's not a literal statement. Haven't you ever heard of hyperbole?
He lied to the Pharisees.
The Pharisees were hypocrites, but I do not recall Jesus lying to them. Example please?
He thought epilepsy was caused my demons.
This was a common belief of the time. Whether Jesus actually held this belief or not is debateable.
He was arrogant.
So are you.
He was racist.
Jesus was very progressive for his time and the faith he founded literally blew the doors off of Jewish nationalism. You're probably thinking of the story of the Canaanite woman whom he called a "little dog." There's more to that story than meets the eye. One possibility is that Jesus did see his mission as being only to the House of Israel, but that this encounter with a pious foreigner transformed his personal understanding of his ministry. Another explanation is that Jesus was challening the Canaanite woman to expand her own understanding of him and his ministry. Remember, she referred to him as "Son of David" - a title for the Jewish savior-king that indicated that she did not believe Jesus had come to teaching the gentiles. So, Jesus responded as a "Son of David" would by calling her a "little dog" and telling her that he had come only to the "lost sheep of Israel." The woman then realized her error and recognized that Jesus had not come only as the "Son of David," but also the "Son of God" who had come for the benefit of the entire world. The point is... the story is not as black and white as you'd like to believe.
He was a mysogynist.
Yep. That's why some of his most devoted followers were women. In fact, this must be why the gospel writers chose to portray women as the first witnesses to Christ's resurrection at a time when women were not allowed to testify in court.
He condoned slavery.
Telling stories about slaves is not the same as condoning slavery. Ever read "Uncle Tom's Cabin" or draw a moral lesson from it?
He was a complete hypocrite.
Explain.
He wanted to keep the Levitican Laws.
Oh really? Is that why the Pharisees loved him so much?
He could only recite 6 of the 10 commandments and they were the revised set that matched Babylonian standards.
This is interesting; I'd like to hear more about this, if you don't mind.
He was a host to trillions of bacteria all over his skin, in his gut and mouth.
Oh the horror! He was... HUMAN.
Hey, I just figured this post out. You must be an Irken invader with an irrational hatred of humanity.