Yesterday God told us that He has ended His relationship with Mrs. Obama and her daughters, that He will make no place for them in The Kingdoms Of God because Mrs. Obama hosted a gay pride celebration in The White House and did not speak out against it. And because her daughters would not speak out against their father sodomizing the children of the world. These are the most sad times! But God has offered them hope. He has offered them a place, a chance to restore themselves to Him. Let us pray the one who he has asked to help them does so. They are beyond His reach. He has removed all Angelic Workers from The White House. It is now a place of utter Darkness, of utter despair. Hopefully some day We can bring The Light back to it, and drive the creatures of Darkness out, if I win the election in 2,012.
Speaking of 2,012 there's a sick movie out claiming that the world's going to be destroyed in that year, and that only a few of humanity will survive. The people that are pushing this are trying to make money. There's no truth to it, whatsoever. God wants me to assure everyone that nothing that abnormal should happen in the year 2,012. Well, if I become President that might be something that many would consider would be the end of the world, but that would be about the only thing! The world will not end with a bang. If mankind perishes it will be with a whimper, it will not be swift and sudden, but slow and agonizing.
100 comments
And because her daughters would not speak out against their father sodomizing the children of the world.
Holy fuck! Drama queen, much?
So respecting gay people and giving them equal rights is the same as Obama sodomizing all the children in the world to you stupid fuckers?
What a ridiculously twisted world view you possess. Are you sure we're even the same species?
Wow! That's a lot of butt-sex.
So, you think Obama is having anal sex with all the children in the world and that God speaks directly to you, and you want people to take you seriously? Seriously?
Yeah, how dare Michelle Obama be for equal rights for them there fags!
Jesus fucking christ these people are idiots. It actually SURPRISES them that someone on the LEFT is PRO gay rights?! Luckily for us, this asshat has about as much chance at becoming the next president as the rock out in my yard does.
Yesterday God told us to take your meds, I hope that He has ended His relationship with Mrs. Obama and her daughters, that He will make no place for them in The Kingdoms Of God because Mrs. Obama hosted a gay pride celebration in The White House and did not speak out against it.
You know the Obama kids are pretty young right? What are they supposed to do, call a press conference after school to condemn their mother for not hating gay people?
And because her daughters would not speak out against their father sodomizing the children of the world. The Pope is the Obama kids' father??!???! These are the most sad times! I know, it'll be a long wait for True Blood to start up again. :/
But God has offered them hope.
And Change??? He has offered them a place, a chance to restore themselves to Him. Let us pray the one who he has asked to help them does so. They are beyond His reach.
Even if you think that the White House is the ebilest place evar, god could talk to the kids at their Quaker school if he existed and were so inclined, right? He has removed all Angelic Workers from The White House.
That explains Rahm. It is now a place of utter Darkness, of utter despair. Again, Rahm. Hopefully some day We can bring The Light back to it, and drive the creatures of Darkness out,
I hear he's running for Mayor in Chicago... if I win the election in 2,012. Good luck with that.
Dude, you have about as much chance as being the president as my can of Diet Dr. Pepper does.
Actually, the can of soda would be a better president than you.
Re: A Nonny Moose's comment...
So President Obama's now immortal,(According to the ruler of Methos), due to his Receptor-Cavity being full of Morlocks, then...?
As for the end of the world, everybody knows the events of 2012 (movie or not), is now old hat, as it's the massive Solar Flare, arriving in 2013 (possibly), that will destroy humanity...
The scene; Heaven, sparkly mansions, billowing white clouds, the whole nine yards.
pondering 'pon his throne, the omnipotent, omniscient deity himself. Nice smell, good teeth, a real class act.
GOD: Hmmm, it's about time I sent a message to my creations on Earth. Shall I speak from the skies ?..... Nah! Too showy.... Burning bush ?.... Nah! done that one to death..... I know!... I'll speak to some trailer park dwelling bigoted redneck in Siblinghump, Nebraska and get him to spread my word.. That'll convince everyone.
Sheesh! "Voices from Spirit", really? More like "Voices in Head"! Take your meds seconded! (or thirded, or fourthed?)
Oh, and thanks for the electoral information, but I vote for Cthulhu. ;-)
Dude, there's this kick-ass med called Risperdal that you should try out. Once you get the dosage right the voice of god quiets right down. 5mg does it for me, but your mileage may vary. Oh and I'm not a doctor so be sure to see yours for a prescription.
@The Lazy One: I would vote (except for that whole British thing) for the can of Dr. Pepper.
After all, what's the worst that could happen?
Oh God, please let this whole thing be an elaborate Poe...
Look at his logo for his 2008 Presidential run, done by "the spirit of Jackson Pollock" (channeled through himself of course)
http://www.voicesfromspirit.com/pp2.jpg
'ELLO POLLEY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call! ....
This Polley is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
... Or maybe he's just brain-dead.
(More prophesy from the Pythons.)
"God says the same thing I'm thinking! I never thought it funny that god hates the same people I do!"
Also, Gerald... Fiction. That movie is fiction. Do you know what fiction is, Gerald?
Pretty awesome God you have there who sends children to Hell for all eternity because they didn't publicly decry their own fathers for tolerating the gay people God created.
Also, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but with your wing already awash in racism, why not eschew referencing the woeful "darkness" in the White House more than a dozen times per post, okay?
Yeah, I'm sure Michelle, Malia and Sasha are just devastated now that the Angelic Workers(tm) are all gone. Revealed knowledge is just sooooo convincing.
I'm voting for the Dr. Pepper can.
Obama never sodomized any children, so I don't know what the hell you're talking about.
Actually, there are a lot things you are saying that make me wonder what the hell you're talking about.
Blessed are the Voices from Spirit, blessed are the children of the cosmos.
Hi Gerald, I wonder what time God was speaking to you yesterday, because He was speaking to me just after tea-time, about 6.30 PM greenwich mean time. I think He was feeling a bit down in the dumps at first because we've just had that twerp Pope Ratzi waltzing about the place in his frock and funny party hats, making people think that God is a dick. I think He's got a nasty surprise in store for the old buffoon.
Anyway, He suddenly brightened up somewhat and said to me, "Godmouth. One day soon, the world will be filled with the Godly light of egocentric right-wing extremists spreading their love and angelic compassion among mortal man."
"Good-o!", I ejaculated. (Blast it, I always ejaculate when I speak with God, I can't help it).
"Then we'll see what these reasonable atheists have to say for themselves. Do you know", he continued, "When the holy bigots set the world to rights and remove the coloured chap from the White House, I might reward some of them with a touch of the old rapture, perhaps. You know, show willing and all that. A nice gesture of appreciation. Do you think they'll like that Godmouth?"
"Whatever my Lord desires, must be", I rather snivelingly replied.
"Well, I'm not going to let the world be destroyed in 2012", He cheerfully grinned.
"Bye for now Godmouth. I'm off to speak to that insufferable bore Gerald Polley. See you soon".
With that He was gone.
"Yesterday God told us that He has ended His relationship with Mrs. Obama and her daughters, that He will make no place for them in The Kingdoms Of God because Mrs. Obama hosted a gay pride celebration in The White House and did not speak out against it."
I asked God if he really said that. He told me he doesn't talk to you.
"And because her daughters would not speak out against their father sodomizing the children of the world."
Uh, there's no reason for them to speak out against something he's never done.
"Speaking of 2,012 there's a sick movie out claiming that the world's going to be destroyed in that year, and that only a few of humanity will survive. The people that are pushing this are trying to make money."
Most people who make movies are trying to make money from their movie. So what?
"If mankind perishes it will be with a whimper, it will not be swift and sudden, but slow and agonizing."
Maybe, maybe not, or maybe both. You don't know.
If you run for President, Gerald Polley (whoever the hell you are), I'll be sure to distribute this quote to as many people as possible.
Fundie lying for Jesus, part 6.023 * 10^23...
And don't they believe that the world will end in a bang? I'm so confused...
Yesterday God told us that He has ended His relationship with Mrs. Obama and her daughters
Funny, I never saw a press release about this.
He will make no place for them in The Kingdoms Of God because Mrs. Obama hosted a gay pride celebration in The White House and did not speak out against it.
Funny how Christians always seem to know what God wants, and funnier still how it's always what the fundies themselves want.
their father sodomizing the children of the world.
I doubt he has that much time, what with running the country and all. But I can understand why God's upset with him for doing that, because that kind of activity should be reserved for Catholic priests.
if I win the election in 2,012
Gee you actually think you have a chance? If Sara Palin can't even get elected vice president, then what chance is there for another rambling nutjob to win the presidency?
image
Vote for president 2012!
2012 not 2,012
grammar thing, your not being clever
As for the other shit, that aint clever either.
You are talking about yourself in plural, so you are either suffering from MPD or have a gerbil in your pocket.
You're also saying you are hearing god talking to you... hearing voices and talking about yourself in plural.. Gerry, go back on the meds.
It gets better. According to Wikipedia, he FOUNDED the religion of Spiritism. Well, according to him, he RE-established it after its original practitioners, aliens from the planet Hades, died in the Deluge. Seems he's in communion with God, Jesus, Muhammad, Princess Diana, Johann Sebastian Bach, John Lennon, etc.
I wonder if we can get him to commune with Siddhartha and K'ung-fu-tzu, too?
1. To my knowledge, the president has never molested children.
2. I didn't realize angels worked in the White House--to my knowledge, all White House staff from the very beginning have been ordinary human beings.
3. Disaster movies are common. To believe disaster will strike just because a disaster movie is out is the height of stupidity. Maybe a dozen people in the entire country are stupid enough to say, "well if Hollywood says it, it must be true!"
4. You? President? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I dont get it. I mean....why did gawd just now end "his relationship with Mrs. Obama"??? How stupid is gawd? I mean, if he is so smart and omniscient, then he would never even have had such a relationship in the first place. He would have known all about the gay pride celebration to come and would have had it all figured out before hand. I guess your gawd isnt quite as smart as you think.
So, when are you going to attack people for not speaking out against all the heinous shellfish-eating that's going on all the time?
And what about all these un-godly clothes made of mixed fabrics?
Strange way you have of writing years, Gerald. Did you say 1,996, too?
From a Bismarck Tribune article regarding Mr. Polley
"He grew up in a 1950s New England family - his father was a cab driver and his mother stayed home to raise Polley and his two sisters. Young Gerald's life consisted of struggles with dyslexia and a crash that left him with brain damage after a car plowed into his bicycle at the age of 11.
At 17, Polley emerged from a night of drinking and got into a fight with a man who he claims was harassing a female friend of his. The fight ended when Polley pulled out a gun and shot him, Polley said."
Entire article here: http://www.bismarcktribune.com/news/local/article_4d001c70-a8f8-534b-81f4-fd1e50615341.html
>>if I win the election in 2,012.
This man's grip on reality is tenuous at best.
>>nothing that abnormal should happen in the year 2,012.
First smart thing this man has ever said. And last, I'm afraid.
PS: is it normal to put a comma in a date (2012)?
I'm not familiar with this kind of spelling
He has removed all Angelic Workers from The White House. It is now a place of utter Darkness, of utter despair. Hopefully some day We can bring The Light back to it, and drive the creatures of Darkness out, if I win the election in 2,012.
You live in a really weird world, Gerald.
Ok, if you care to explain, Gerry, some points, I would give you a little credit. First, why would two girls, who aren't even considering going to highschool short term should "speak out" about something they may not understand?. How does God talk to you and not to the guy who is in charge of finding the vaccine against AIDS, for example?. Third, why would a person who hosts an event speak out against it unless he or she is suffering of paranoia?. And by the way, mirror, mirror in the wall, are you trying to tell us that you're not making this shit up to make money?
Make sure your anti-virus software is up to date before visiting his web site -- it's infected with a Trojan dropper.
For the benefit of my non-technical American friends: no, not that sort of Trojan!
You know, fundies like to harp on athiests for having no morals, but when reading this, I wonder, who would be more dangerous? Someone who believes there's no ultimate authority to answer to, or someone who believes they can do whatever they want because they have the ultimate authority backing them up (and get messages from said authority).
Well, if I become President
Thankfully, that will never happen. The American people aren't that stupid.
> Yesterday God told us
He must suck at communications then, for He failed to tell me. This obviously raises some questions about His alleged omnipotence.
> He has removed all Angelic Workers from The White House. It is now a place of utter Darkness, of utter despair. Hopefully some day We can bring The Light back to it, and drive the creatures of Darkness out, if I win the election in 2,012.
So let me get this straight: God nixes His support for the White House, and you think you're good enough to put some light in there?
In other words, by your own account, you assume you're powerful enough to fix something God deliberately broke - and you're seeing both God's evil actions and your own hubris as a good thing?
You keep your fundie idiocy away from my T.S. Elliot poems! Also, seriously dude, take your meds.
"When you talk to God, that's prayer. When God talks back, that's Schizophrenia." ~Unknown
Poe. Actually, T.S. Eliot, not Edgar Allan (sorry, poetry pun). Those last two lines are stolen from The Hollow Men by T.S. Eliot. The lines being:
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.
So, yeah, Poe.
"Yesterday God told us"
And I quit reading.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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