Ok, I was having a problem with emailing someone. Well, yesterday I gave the problem to Jesus. Well, I tried emailing her again and it worked!
Praise Jesus
71 comments
The funniest part is the responses in the thread. Were it anywhere other than RR I'd assume their "Praise da lawd, he is great" reactions to be sarcastic beyond all measure, but these folks seem serious.
I was having a problem with taking a dump. Well, yesterday I gave the problem to Jesus.* Well, I tried shitting again and it worked!
Praise Jesus
* Note how ridiculous this sounds.
(This so belongs in the top 100. Come on, people, WTF the shit out of this one.)
Yeah, I believe you.
Or not.
@Doubting Thomas
That's nepotism for you. Some of us go to school to learn this stuff, and then find out the CEO's son is handed the sysadmin job without any effort.
Serves you right for using AOL.
Nice to see that gawd has his priorities straight. Can't be bothered to stop violence, oppression & despair-including a 6 year old that was shot by a 4 year old-but can take time out of his busy schedule to help some dingbat email a coworker. 10 to 1 it was one of those stupid "inspirational" chain emails.
Maybe the reason that god/Jesus allows deaths from murder, suicide, accidents, diesease, natural disasters, war, starvation, and many other things, because he is too busy working in the IT department.
So the Lord who created the infinity of the Universe takes time off to help an idiot who cannot send an email, or who is temporarily off line because of traffic levels.
Jesus wouln't do that for anyone else, so listen up everyone how important I am in celestial terms.
Such bullshite!
Sad times for Jesus. Had to resort to that horrible tech support job. The churches just aren't pulling in the cash since all the kid diddling became public knowledge. Good luck, Big J. You'll pull through...you just have to believe....
This is pretty much the definition of being a god-botherer.
Meanwhile, children in Africa are still being raped, starved, forced into wars, and Jesus, being too busy fixing your fucking email, did nothing about it.
No, maybe it was because the system was down, I mean, you need an army of hamsters to keep YMail working, and hamsters must be fed...
P.S. Did you read my letter about nonviolent and brilliant video games?
There are some problems you can give to Jesus to solve if you don't know what to do. And there are some problems you can't give to Jesus because He doesn't know what to do either.
For instance, problem emailing? Give the problem to Jesus and He'll solve it.
On the other hand, is your computer compromised by a malicious virus, possibly by receiving an email that some one had asked Jesus to send to you on their behalf? Don't give virus problems to Jesus, He won't have a clue how to solve them.
If his house should catch fire, Snoopy wouldn't bother to dial 911, he would just give the problem to Jesus and sit back in his La-Z-Boy waiting for the flames to die on their own.
We call this "survival of the fittest."
At work we have a tall, long-haired guy working in the IT department whose nickname is Computer Jesus.
Snoopy dearie, with computers there are often problems like this; something doesn't work, but when you try again it suddenly does work. The Internet connection might have been busy the first time.
'Jesus Christ, it's about time you guys in IT got to my trouble ticket!'
I think I even said that this week :)
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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