My house is under attack by satan. I need to anoint my house and rebuke the evil devil. I have never even thought about doing this, but I think I need to. What do I use, What do I say? Any thoughts???
29 comments
You need THE book, the phone book, find yourself a psychiatrist, tell him/her you have gone nutso and have him/her prescribe some Prozac or something stronger
Thanks a LOT for that image xMinionX, just when I'm about to go to bed!
Thanks a LOT for that image xMinionX, just when I'm about to go to bed!
Pay me $10,000, and I'll perform an exorcism.
There's a sucker born every minute.
Maybe your house is under attack by ants, mice, roaches or some other vermin. Consult the book of Yellow Pages; Chapter, Exterminators. You don't need to anoint your house, but fogging it might do the trick.
tress 1975's Shopping List
1. Garlic.
(It's not like she's excluding vampires from being disguises/manifestations of satan.)
"My house is under attack by satan. I need to anoint my house and rebuke the evil devil. I have never even thought about doing this, but I think I need to."
You've been playing DOOM III too much, it's not healthy.
"What do I use"
The BFG is your best bet, I'd say. That, and the chainsaw.
"What do I say?"
image
X3
"Any thoughts???"
image
Nice to see you again, Elia. First off, tress, HOW DARE YOU READ THE NECRONOMICON!!! HOW DARE YOU BE STUPID ENOUGH TO PLAY THAT TAPE!!!
I guess you should use the Kan'Darian dagger, to start off with, and gradually work your way up to the chainsaw as you gain experience and confidence(remember, however, if they bite you, you have to immediately lop off the infected limb or you'll join the Deadite Army).
See the Evil Dead Trilogy for more tips and helpful ideas. And yes, IF YOU SEE THE EVIL FORCE, RUN AS FAST AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN OR MEET WITH A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH.
The only way to truly kill one of these demons is through the act of.... bodily dismemberment.
Well crap, Evil Dead and Carrie have both been covered so that leaves me with the Exorcist or Ghost Busters... Screw it, I'm going Beetlejuice.
Tell him to get out and leave you alone.
Hey, yer a Rapturite, all you folk say Satan crumbles at the mention of Jesus, you say Jesus ALL FUCKIN'DAY.
How's that religion working out for you?
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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