62 comments
I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober for 14 years, but I know damned well that does not mean "there will be no cakes and ale," for fuck's sake. Drink one for me, everybody!
And they´ll think you´re more drunk than him, or even that drunkness is saner than your paranoia. By the way, they´ll open it and, yes, they´ll read that the wine is the blood of Christ and will wonder WTF?
Imagine 'N. C. Tarheels' at the Marriage at Cana : -Jesus: "Take this water to the chief waiter."
Chief: (takes a sip) "Sir, I have departed from tradition and saved the best wine till last."
N.C.T: "Oi, Jesus, I saw that! Turn that filthy wine back into water this minute you SINNER!"
U n,e,e,d, an educasion lol!!!
Oh fuck off. What the hell do you think the whole 'water into wine' thing's about???? Jesus was showing you what heaven is like, you dickhead! One hell of a party, that's what! Pity it doesn't exist (although it could exist, in this world at least, if you fundies weren't so fucking life-hating and full of jealousy and fear.)
Someone clearly failed to read their own holy book and missed all the instances advocating the consumption of alcoholic beverages.
First miracle of Christ, "he turned the water into wine" as the old spiritual says. Don't you damn fundies even know the most famous parts of the Bible? Oh I'm sorry, it's Jesus, everybody else's Messiah, not the fundie Messiah, Paul! Carry on then!
@madoc - I'm sure there was a post from Bro. Randy in here somewhere in which he "proves" that the wine Jesus drank was non-alcoholic.
I once watched a Sunday morning show in which the preacher spent several minutes proving that the wine mentioned in the Bible was non-alcoholic. His argument could be boiled down to this:
We believe that drinking alcohol is a sin. We believe that the Bible contains instructions for a moral life. Therefore, the wine consumed in the Bible was non-alcoholic.
I understand that one of the Puritans' first priorities in America was to set up a brewery.
Why would someone who changed water into wine for his friends, damn all drinkers to hell? Where does that come from?!
Shut up, go to your room, and don't come out until you finish that six-pack!!!!1!
Try it with me and I will shove your KJV back at you and ask you to show me where alcohol is forbidden. Yes, drunkenness is discouraged, but nowhere is alcohol use forbidden. Yet another T4C groupie who loves to talk about the bible but never bothers to read it. Good job Randy!
First, let me say that I've never felt more violated than when I read "makes me wanta shove salvation in them"
I'll scream "rape!"
Oh, and the English language is put together in things called sentences. Research them. Get back to us.
When I see anyone writing that badly I also want to, um, whatever.
Throw up, I think the words are.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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