I was on my way to work today, and I drove by a pasture full of cows. One of the cows was looking up in the sky, like she heard or saw something. I automatically looked up...thinking...this might be the day that Jesus comes.
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Of course, the cows will be the first to know; their souls are the most precious to your god. Watch them, every second, for signs or you just might miss something.
The arrival of Jesus ...
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South Park: Aliens land and gift the cows with a human control device, because after observing them for a long time, the aliens know the cows are the most noble and wise. Cows look to the sky, awaiting the return of their cosmic friends.
...or maybe the wind shifted and they're raising their sensitive noses to avoid the smell of cowshit wafting upward.
Just, ya know...sayin'.
Don't these people get tired of having this same conversation every day on this forum.
"Today I saw a sign of the rapture...but it turned out to just be cloud," "Today I saw a sign of the rapture, but my apostate daughter said that the toaster just burned my toast a little."
Every day going, "Today? Nope."
Doesn't it get old?
Or, possibly, they were looking up at Zeus.
He's been known to be very good to cows.
@ Mling
Nope. It's good comedy!
"One of the cows was looking up in the sky, like she heard or saw something. I automatically looked up...thinking...this might be the day that Jesus comes.
I guess all sheep look to the wise old cows to tell them what's going on.
I don't know why, but this made me think of Lycidias, published by John Milton in 1637.
'The hungry Sheep look up, and are not fed'
I'd best not read anything othere than the KJV in future...
I pooped my pants a little and the stains looked like JC, is today the day Jayzus comes back ?
They'll believe A N Y T H I N G
So let me get this straight.
You're taking your cues from cows ?
Man, you're even more fucked up than I thought.
This guy has lived too much in town. Cows look up at the sky but, since they're not religious, they don't do it in order to see Jesus, but for certain fuctions of their BODIES.
Well of course, fundies are willing to believe that a cow looking in the sky means TEH END OF TEH GLOBEZ!!!1, but hundreds of thousands of fossils and carbon dating tests and processes and proof of fossils being made of carbon matter and DNA doesn't prove evolution.
Okay, when I'm driving, I've occasionally had the problem of my mind wandering. There have been times when I've nearly crashed the car because I was thinking about something else rather than paying attention to what I was doing.
I try to avoid such lapses. I'm not proud of them because I realize that I have put myself and others in danger.
But I have never spent time watching goddamn cows when I should be watching the road. I have never spent my time looking at any animal on the side of the road long enough to take note of any sort of detail like what direction it happens to be looking. And I have never looked up at the ceiling when I was driving a car.
Because even when my mind wanders, even though I've had a good few near-misses, one of the reasons that they have been misses is that I've at least kept my eyes on the road.
Look, it's a sad, sad day when I have to give someone a driving lesson, but for God's sake, at least try to pay attention to what you're doing when your behind the wheel. At the very least keep your eyes on the road!
If I was your insurance company and I saw this, your monthly payments would skyrocket. I just hope that you don't often drive with passengers and that you don't often drive in areas with lots of other cars. And I sincerely hope I am never, ever on the road anywhere near you.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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