There are sooooo many signs that He is coming soon.
Lately, I can't stop gazing at the sky, on my breaks, while driving, I glance up almost all the time. I keep thinking that I might catch the angel with the trumpet just a moment or two before he sounds off. I'm ready to run into Jesus' arms and see Him smile at me and hold me. I can't wait to be in Heaven and see everything with Jesus. There's going to be alot to ask Him about. Wow, to have forever with Jesus!
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while driving, I glance up almost all the time.
KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, YOU DUMBASS!!!!
Sorry for the all caps, but I had to.
Yes, and I'm sure the Almighty is gonna be yours and yours along. Why right now, I'm sure he's gazing longingly at your picture, counting the days...
Does the word PRIDE mean anything to you? ARROGANCE, maybe?
"Lately, I can't stop gazing at the sky, on my breaks, while driving, I glance up almost all the time. I keep thinking that I might catch the angel with the trumpet just a moment or two before he sounds off. I'm ready to run into..." ...an eighteen-wheeler.
Did you not hear? The rature happened last week! I guess you weren't one of the 144,000 true believers.
Sucks to be you.
On the other hand, I'm having sex with your daughter right now.
I'm just stunned that all of these people have at the same time a sick fantasy of the apocalypse and an odd Mary Sue fanfic style fantasy of meeting a thirtysomething middle eastern man in the clouds.
It's like really bad anime in their heads all the time.
Jesuphil indeed she is...
Listen, lady... You should try to get some sex while you still are alive...
I can't wait to hear you explain that to a traffic cop. "See, officer, I ran the red light and hit that little old lady in the crosswalk because I was keeping an eye out for the angel with the trumpet up in the clouds. I have to keep looking up at the sky while I'm driving or else I might miss the Rapture. You understand, don't you? You are a Christian, right?"
this is so sad... oh she's so desperate for jesus.
someone give billy gibbons her address, maybe she'll buy it
Yes, when anything that happens out of the ordinary, no matter how slight...hell even things that ARE ordinary...as a "sign," of course everything will point that he's coming soon. However, if you step back and look at how batty you sound OBJECTIVELY...ah, forget it. Just keep your damn eyes on the road, at least...
Well, if it makes you feel any better (Although it scares the hell out of me,) unless you keep your damn eyes on the road as you drive, you're gonna get raptured REAL soon...
> Wow, to have forever with Jesus!
What if he thinks you're a tediously dull companion? Would you still impose yourself upon him?
Its funny how those who believe see signs "everywhere," while those who do not believe do not see them. After all, in the gospel of John, Jesus specifically performs signs to convince unbelievers. Yes, I know that the other gospels disagree on this point, but apparently its not a contradiction (I guess we're supposed to take that point on faith).
But, again, wouldn't these "signs" be more effective is everyone could see them?
^Quantum Mechanic, the only idiot here is you. You literally made the exact same comment eight months ago, which you would have known had you bothered to look. My guess is that you just spend every day browsing the "Random Quotes" section and then typing whatever one-line drivel immediately comes out of your brain for every quote you see. And evidently you've been doing this for years. Do you never grow bored of reading the same things over and over and writing completely pointless responses to them?
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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