[In reference to an article predicting how Earth will eventually be vaporized by the sun in 7.6 billion years]
What a load of duck cheese! They sure are going to be surprised aren't they.... me thinks God is going to throw a big wrench called the rapture right into their discovery
54 comments
methinks once you grow up and learn to button your own trousers, your new found mental maturity will have you deeply embarrassed that you once said such a silly thing.
Then again...you may stay ignorant your whole life.
I like Grey Poupon with my duck cheese thank you.
As for the rapture. I think light4mypath (and his lot) is going to waste his/her life waiting on an event that will never happen. Sad, really.
Duck cheese sounds like some nice name for a very disgusting rashy disease.
You've been waiting 2000 years for your groom, I think you've been stood up at the alter.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE!
If I see one more of these Goddam nutjobs. I'm joining RR, and I'm going to set up a website and service that will give a cast iron guarantee that I'll SMS them the second a rapture happens just in case they missed it. They can subscribe for $5 a month or something. I'll try to just keep it as a cash cow, rather then prank them to scare them shitless.
I believe someone's already established a message service for "I told you so" notes.
light4mypath....I know you can't wait for lots of people to die except yourself and your ilk and stuff but your gloating and hoping for death and destruction really is disturbing. The crapture will be because of the federal reserve is destroying our currency by printing it like mad men to bail out bankrupt banks who have destroyed our economy with insane mortgage dealings. Buy gold or silver folks if you can or persuade your parents to. Its mother earth's real money (inelastic supply versus endless fiat currency printing) used since Jesus's time and before, all the way back to egyptian times. Its not fiat paper money made by false promises of greedy and lying men who love these fundies because they are so stupid and hateful. When our economy hits the crapture fan, with gold or silver, you will be raptured somewhat than most from financial ruination though it will still be hard to cope.
All the fundy preachers will start telling their flock of insane birds that it was us satan worshipers or something to that effect that caused it all and it is time to destroy us. Then bring out the precious metal called lead and the 'rapture' will be a short-lived event and peace will follow. We can then return to a fixed exchange rate with trade and to a gold standard. Nixon took us off the gold standard so he could have more money printed up than a gold standard would allow to fund the escalation of the vietnam war.
Even if your (non-Biblical) rapture happened tomorrow, it wouldn't matter since the sun will still run out of hydrogen some six billion years in the future. Besides, humans will either be extinct or have left planet earth by then.
...duck cheese?
That's a new one.
Firstly, ducks aren't mammals, hence cannot produce milk for cheese.
Secondly, if you doomsday lovers don't get out of the gene pool, the human species will become extinct much sooner than the being destroyed by the sun.
If you are going to make an argument for the imminent destruction of mankind, at least base it on a mathematical model not some book written by goat herders.
[7.6 billion years later]
We tell you, Discordian heathens! Repent now, or be left behind!
“Nah. No point. We have an awesome 5 dimensional teleporter. Bye now.”
But the lord wil s-*evaporates*
Oh fuck, like Rapture Ready wasn't enough, now there's a Rapture Forums too?
Holy fucking shit on a shingle.
Wait, this isn't Rapture Ready?
THERE'S MORE THAN ONE OF THEM!
Damn, 5 billion years is too long, I'm going to trigger the supernova now... it'll be for the best in the long run.
I didn't sign up for this rapture thing and I would be real brassed off at the Lord if he were to rapture me out at any point, 1) because I'm busy here on earth, and 2) I'd end up missing all the excitement of the end of days.
Perhaps there ought to be a forum for those perpetually not ready for rapture. I'd join. Just so God knows that I am on the "no go" list.
Rapturites are usually creationists also, so they figure god'll just paste a new sun on the fabric of space.
Why the hell would he even care about 1000 years from now?
BlackMageJ wrote:
"Damn, 5 billion years is too long, I'm going to trigger the supernova now... it'll be for the best in the long run."
The sun's too small to go supernova. In 5 billion years, it'll be more like this:
* The sun will be about 10 billion years old. At that age, half the hydrogen in the core will have been has been fused into helium.
* With that much helium clogging things up in the core, it can no longer sustain a hydrogen fusion reaction. Energy production in the core shuts down.
* With no radiation pressure holding it up, the material immediately surrounding the core starts to collapse under its own weight.
* The infalling material gets hotter and more pressurized, to the point that IT starts to undergo hydrogen fusion. This is called a "hydrogen-burning shell."
* The hydrogen-burning shell has a much larger outer surface area than the old, dead core did. Thus, it radiates the energy it produces a lot more rapidly than the core did.
* All that extra radiation pressure will cause the outer layers of the sun to start expanding.
* Over the course of some tens of thousands of years, the sun will expand from its previous (main-sequence) size to hundreds of millions of kilometers in diameter, big enough to swallow the Earth. At such a large size, those outer layers will be cooler than they were during the main sequence, though. Thus, we say that the sun will be a "Red Giant."
* After a few million years as a red giant, the hydrogen-burning shell will also become exhausted. The sun may briefly fuse helium into carbon in its core, but this won't last very long. At last, the outer layers of the sun will be slowly blasted into space, forming a "planetary nebula" (so named for its resemblance to a planet when seen in a weak telescope).
* All that will be left where the sun once stood will be an Earth-sized, hot, super-dense ember called a "white dwarf".
* And then the Rapture will come and the dead in Christ will rise first, and trumpets will play, and everybody except the non-Fundamentalists will live happily ever after.
Now god's going to throw a wrench at us? Is he some kind of redneck trailpark dad? This Yaw-Way just sounds worse and worse the more fundies describe him.
"Join our death cult and you can spend eternity in a stone city designed by ancient Phoenecians, lorded over by a genocidal sadistic blood-drinking prick and his sado-masochistic son!"
If something not happening counts as surprising then it is you that are in for the surprise.
Now I know that I won't live for billions of years to witness the Earth being vaporized, just as surely that as I know that your fucking rapture is never going to happen, so there's at least two non-surprises that don't await me.
Now go ahead and surprise me - post something intelligent. That would be almost miraculous.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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