[During Idaho Republican gubernatorial debate]

Brown: After God told me he was going to make me president, I went out and got the presidential seal tattooed right here on my [pats right] shoulder. My morale went from negative 500 off the scale and I started a presidential campaign right there. I’m a Type AA+ guy. And I was living in Fat Jack’s cellar because my wife, ex-wife had given me trumped up, some restraining orders. I couldn’t see my kids. It was a mess. And Fat Jack’s old lady, Fat Jack’s wife said, “Get this lunatic out of my cellar! He’s starting a presidential campaign! I’m getting calls from the media and all this.” For three years I had the credibility of Chicken Little. You know, the sky is falling? And, finally, one time, one day this bishop from Africa comes over and he says, “I am a prophet of the most high God and in that office I here authenticate that God told you that.” And I says, “Yeah? You mind putting that in writing?” He said, “Sure.” And he put it in writing and I got the original at home and I was able to go up to all my detractors and say, “Na-na-na-na-nah-nah!”

Okay. Now. I need practice. Practice. I don’t want to say stuff like “Sorry if our bombing caused you any inconvenience.” I gotta work in the Little League as a governor. And you have your choice, folks. A cowboy, a curmudgeon, a biker or a normal guy. Take your pick. Thank you very much. We’re leaving it up to you.