We actually went outside and started commanding the winds because God had given us authority over the winds - the airways. And we just began to command this storm not to hit our area. We - we spoke to the storm and said, go to unpopulated places. It did exactly what we said to do because God gave us the authority to do that.
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The next time a tornado is bearing down on, oh, I dunno, maybe a town in Oklahoma that's 100% Christian, can we have your word that you'll repeat that parlor trick?
That must have been some sight. I imagine the neighbors getting out of their house to go to a shelter. They see that weird fundie family outside in severe weather yelling at the wind and commanding it to go away. One of the neighbors yells, "You need to get to safety! Do you want to come with us?" One of the fundies yells,"We have the Lord on our side! We're perfectly safe!" The fundie is then hit in the head with flying debris.
But seriously, this is wandering into Dreams of Dunamis territory.
We - we spoke to the storm and said, go to unpopulated places. It did exactly what we said to do because God gave us the authority to do that.
From the article:
At least 11 people died when tornadoes plowed through North Texas on the night after Christmas. At least eight of them were killed when a tornado picked their vehicles off a highway east of Dallas.
And:
Others weren't so lucky or blessed. Officials say many as a thousand North Texas homes were damaged or destroyed. Garland was the hardest hit. Meteorologists say a powerful tornado hit the town with winds exceeding 200 miles an hour.
Guess either God or the storm is a little hard of hearing, then.
Meanwhile, in Oklahoma in 2013:
image
The former resident would like a word with you about a certain King Cnut.
Lying for Jebus much, Sab?
The words in the NPR report after the ones in the OP are Others weren't so lucky or blessed. Officials say many as a thousand North Texas homes were damaged or destroyed. Garland was the hardest hit.
Last time I checked, Garland, TX had a population of 226,876. God "gave you the authority" to divert a tornado from your house to hit an "unpopulated place" of nearly a quarter of a million people. That must make you feel so special.
From this moment on, every death, every injury, every smashed house, every uprooted tree, every and all damage caused by a storm anywhere in the world, is your fault.
SABRINA LOWE: WANNABEE X-MAN FOR JESUS![IMG]http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f226/SpukiKitty/storm_by_campbell_by_eldelgado_zpsxyrwjotq.jpg[/IMG]
....Though I'd doubt Sabrina would wear that sexy ensemble, being all wingnut Puritan and all....unless she's one of those 'Blond Republican Sex Kitten Types' in miniskirts who pretend to be Far-Right 'news' anchor women or Miss Universe contestants with ditzy homophobic answers....
[IMG]http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f226/SpukiKitty/fauxnoisebimbo_zpsl3xvb014.png[/IMG] [IMG]http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f226/SpukiKitty/beautypagentbimbo_zpsdldorkoi.png[/IMG] (PICTURED ABOVE: 'Dumb & Dumber - Blond Babe Edition')
Many would compare them to Barbie dolls. However; I feel Barbie has been unjustly maligned. Barbie has "Feminist Icon Potential". She's been in boatloads of careers. She's been much more than just "Pretty lady in dresses". She's been in various medical professions, she's been a Presidential candidate, generic businesswoman, an astronaut, she's even been into various subcultures (even being a Flowerchild). When I was growing up, he theme song went;We girls can do anything! [IMG]http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f226/SpukiKitty/Barbie_zpsgo41efyf.jpg[/IMG]
I don't mind the idea of praying for rain during a devastating drought or even being a witch/spellworker doing something for the same reason but this weird woman makes it sound like God turns you into Ororo Munroe.
I commanded the dice to give me a seven, and sure enough, God's authority delivered one. But since gambling is sinful, He'll only give me the power about one time in six. Sometimes you don't even have to get God involved. I spit on a lottery ticket and won $50; so spitting works, too!
"Let all men know how empty and worthless is the power of kings, for there is none worthy of the name, but He whom heaven, earth, and sea obey by eternal laws." - King Carnute the Great (alledgedly), after failing to command the tide
@SpukiKitty
Even Storm and Zapp cosplayers know they don't actually control the weather, which is why I challenge Sabby to place herself in the path of an oncoming tornado and 'command' away.
She'll know the value of 'Faith' as much as that now ex -homeowner in Oklahoma.
Sab won't be in Kansas anymore! X3
I heard this one morning on NPR and really wanted to submit it, but I couldn't find it online. I'm so glad someone else found it. What a stupid, stupid bitch. She's incredibly lucky to still be alive.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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