"Margaret" #fundie

"Margaret" #fundie crossroad.to

[OPENING COMMENT FROM GADFLY: I really feel sorry for these folks, and especially their son. They are making a mountain out of a molehill about what this boy likes to read, and probably driving him away from them. Instead of condemning his interests as occultic, why don't they talk about it with him and understand why he likes reading fantasy and science fiction? There is nothing wrong with an interest in speculative fiction!]

My son, turning 16 today, is an intelligent, bright young man, but has developed an insatiable appetite for all things fantastical. He started out being interested in Pokemon cards 5 years ago until I looked into it and felt it to be evil where upon he got rid of them. He then read all the Chronicles of Narnia and the Hobbit and everything Tolkein ever wrote ( a number of times) I encouraged his reading and saw no problem initially with Tolkein. He has moved onto 2 other series....books by R.A. Salvatore and Dragon Lance Legends by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman. I feel uncomfortable with these last authors and have said so to him. He has always read voraciously but in the past 18 months has read almost entirely within the Fantasy or Science Fiction genre. I have tried to encourage him to shift his tastes!

Running concurrently to this he has played Runescape on the web to the point where he exhibited addictive behaviour. We have passwords on the computer and have restricted access sometimes for weeks at a time. We have banned Runescape and he has now developed a strong interest in Warhammer and has been painting his first "army" for hours everyday getting ready to start playing in real campaigns. He is now playing a game called Pristontale. I am feeling punch-drunk!!!

...

My question really is how much can and should we be doing with a child of this age. He will readily engage me in intellectual discussion and challenge my thinking and then this can degenerate into angry outbursts. I often feel that I have to be controlling to lick this thing and that is not what I want to be. I am very concerned about him.

46 comments

old comment by Horsefeathers

"My question really is how much can and should we be doing with a child of this age."

Why do you people profess to both read and follow your Babble but you're completely flummoxed over things it covers quite often and in great detail?

Here, let me help you out:

Proverbs 13:24

24He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

So obviously you should beat him into submission. Of course, if that doesn't work you can always try:

Deuteronomy 21:18-21

18If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them:

19Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place;

20And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.

21And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

old comment by 1BurningStake

I feel sorry for this young man. While I never read "standard fantasy," i.e. Dragonlance (because it seemed so boring and cliche to me) I did read Guy Gavriel Kay and loved it. I mostly read SF, namely Ray Bradbury (Fahrenheit 451, anyone? ;) ) and poetry. Today I don't read nearly as much, due to the Internet (and I have an English degree--for shame!)

...I'm sorry. What I mean is, if even an English major like me can spend more time in front of the computer than a book, I'm very glad this 16 year-old young man is reading anything, let alone "voraciously." I am a little worried that his computer enjoyment could turn into an obsession; but the other posters on here are right: the more they engage in "intellectual discussion" leading to "angry outbursts," the further away they will be pushed from each other. She seems like a loving mother worried about her son, and so I hope they can, as Gadfly wisely suggested, talk about why he likes it rather than "Why It's Bad for You," at least.

old comment by Gadfly

1Burning Stake said: "... the other posters on here are right: the more they engage in "intellectual discussion" leading to "angry outbursts," the further away they will be pushed from each other. She seems like a loving mother worried about her son, and so I hope they can, as Gadfly wisely suggested, talk about why he likes it rather than "Why It's Bad for You," at least."

Exactly. I'm a Christian and I love science fiction, fantasy, and horror. I always have. A human being, even my parents, could not drag that love, that interest, out of my geeky lil' soul with a backhoe. Thankfully they've never tried.

These parents' attempts to "encourage him to shift his tastes" will NEVER work. Never. When you try to get someone to give up an interest that is fundamental to them, it will never work if you impose restrictions from without. Condemnation without understanding the interest will only lead to anger on the child's part and more fear and bewilderment on the parent's.

"Margaret" should just sit down with her son some day, with NO agenda or condemnation involved, and let him show her the things he's interested in. Maybe she could get him to show her how to paint a little Warhammer figure or assemble it or something. If she finds something interesting or laudable about his hobby, like artistic expression through painting a Warhammer figure, maybe then she can talk to him with more understanding of WHY he likes what he likes.

I'm not saying that a parent has to give the rubber-stamp seal of approval everything their kid does or likes, because there needs to be limits if they get into something that can genuinely harm them, but freaking out over fantasy and science fiction stuff is extreme.

old comment by katie5000

My question really is how much can and should we be doing with a child of this age [16]. He will readily engage me in intellectual discussion and challenge my thinking and then this can degenerate into angry outbursts. I often feel that I have to be controlling to lick this thing and that is not what I want to be. I am very concerned about him.

Heh, I remember being 16. It seemed like my parents couldn't do anything right at that age. Anyway, he sounds pretty average to me. He'll mellow out in his early 20's or so, don't worry about it.

But Runescape, hoo boy. My brother played the hell out of that game when he was in high school.

@M: Hey, if he's cute and geeky (and legal), then save some for me. :)

“I like this!”
“Well, we’re banning it. ’Cause God!”
[Angry outburst!]
“Holy carp, where is this coming from?”

Not the acme of parenting.