Hi all.
I just realised just how difficult it is trying to raise children for God.
132 comments
Equating a 5-year-old's crush with fornication?
Put down the Bible, pick up a phone, and call a psychiatrist. Please.
He is 5. He is, as far as I am aware, psychologically and physiologically neither inclined nor actually able to perform fornication.
....er, wait, its RR. I gotta rephrase that.
OK, I checked out Matthew 5:28. It's the verse about adultery and lust in the heart. First off, I'm not sure you even understand what that verse means if you're trying to apply it to this situation, but lady (or man), for Pete's sake! He's five years old! He's not really thinking about sex. He's being a cute little kid.
Is... is this for friggin real? Flowers on Valentine's day between 5 year olds a gateway to fornication? How do they expect the boy to develop a healthy relationship with anyone of any gender if they freak out to that degree, let alone a romantic relationship. With that mindset how did they manage to HAVE a kid? After all marriage is the ultimate gateway to fornication.
'notwhoisaidiwas'...you are a cold, hateful, heartless S.O.B....that boy sounds so sweet! A sweet little boy wants to give a sweet little girl flowers for Valentine's Day, so beautiful...and a heartless subhuman like you wants to put the kabosh on it! SCREW YOU, FUNDIE DOUCHEBAG!!!
"YOU LITTLE PERVERT! NEVER THINK THOSE THOUGHTS ABOUT A WOMAN EVER AGAIN! ONLY THINK THAT WAY ABOUT JESUS!"
20 years later...
"Hey Mom, I'm not gay or anything, but I'm screwing bearded men."
A normal person would say "Awwwwww, that's so adorable!". It takes a rather dysfunctional mind to see that same situation and think "ZOMG, EVILLLLL!!!! QUICK, GET THE CHASITY BELT!!!".
Firstly, does he break Matthew 5:28, or is it just an innocent children's stage? Secondly, will this crushes end on their own at some stage, or is it a gateway to fornication?
Yeah, and before you know it he'll be running a prostitution ring out of his treehouse and paying his hookers in Pokemon cards.
I just realised just how difficult it is trying to raise children for God.
For the child? Yeah, it must be very difficult for him going through life knowing that no matter what he does his parents will think he's possessed by the devil.
"I just realised just how difficult it is trying to raise children for God."
No, you just realized how difficult it is to raise children when you're a slobbering idiot.
Treating crushes as a 'gateway to fornication'?
Um....with parents like that, am I the only who's thinking that this kid just might be a serial killer in the making?
@dionysus
"Yeah, and before you know it he'll be running a prostitution ring out of his treehouse and paying his hookers in Pokemon cards."
That was hilarious. You win ten internets. XD
It amazes me just how backwards these idiots views on sex are. He's five, you repressesed chucklefucks! Just let him be. Fucking hell.
The worst part is, this kid is going to grow up with the exact same repressive belief system.
I think the first thing you should do is find out who that harlot is in your son's class in the first place and contact her parents immediately. Leading your son away from God like that, I mean, really? Your son is pure and good and all of that and this girl, this hussy, who does she think she is? Using her feminine wiles to corrupt and pervert your son?!?
It's like this, dumbass. If you don't let your children befriend, flirt with, and date the opposite sex they'll have no drive to form attachments outside of your house when they do get old enough to fuck. Enjoy taking care of him when he's 40 year old and still a virgin with no idea what he wants in life, assuming he doesn't kill himself.
I should know. My aunt and uncle did the same fundie shit you are and all NINE of their ADULT children still live with them, except the one who died of a drug overdose.
He's 5 years old for chrissake! I don't think you have to worry about fornication just yet.
Jeez, Christian fundies are totally stupid.
WTF is wrong with you?
Seriously, this is why I can't stand religious people.
I think my forehead is bruised from all the facepalming.
Are you kidding me? Five years old! What is your IQ, around fucking 75?
Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
A five year old doesn't even know what lust is you dumb fuck and his classmate is far from a woman. You cannot be serious.
If your kid was 17, and gave flowers to a girl, would you have the same reaction? Or is it somehow worse that he's 5, and way away from puberty and the ensuing lustful thoughts? You have a kid, therefore you must have made the beast with two backs at least once. Surely you want your kid to settle down with a nice girl at some point in his life? I just don't know what goes on in these people's heads.
Oh for fuck's sake! He's 5! He doesn't even know what fornication or adultery is! What the fuck is wrong with you?!
I thought my fundie parents were bad! Please for the good of humanity don't have anymore kids. This is seriously the most screwed up thing I have read. That poor kid is going to be seriously messed up!
Edit:Wow,that was actually really well played for a Poe. I could honestly see these Rapture idiots actually saying something like this. Hopefully it made one of them re-think how idiotic some of their views are.
Holy shit you Raptards are stupid.
Imagine if we wanted to give flowers to a boy. Their heads would explode. Seriously, what is the problem again? Is there a real danger of fornication at age 5?
"I just realised just how difficult it is trying to raise children for God."
I would imagine passing on your own received delusions to your own children is easy. Probably, the hard part is trying to shield them from reality and keeping them from learning the truth.
Yeah the guy who posted (notwhoisaidiwas) only had about 5 posts to his name when I saw the thread. Fortunately, most of the RR veterans did raise an eyebrow at his question so at least the real fundies there didn't jump on the fornication bandwagon. But yeah later I figured it was a Poe. And if not a Poe then it's someone that's probably too crazy for even the Rapture'ians.
Dear RRtard,
Just because you lust after everyone of the opposite gender, doesn't mean the kid does.Get a therapist.
Yours truly, the Communist Daughter
Falling in love is not fornication, let alone for a 5 years old who has much more pure love than many people in your church(and probably not an erection either). You need to grow up and be raisen as a child, of God or otherwise, again.
AWWWWWWWWWW. That is absolutely adorable, and only a moron would see anything wrong with that. Lots of five-year-olds haven't even been given the "birds and the bees" talk yet (I would say most but I don't have enough expertise to make that statement). So yeah, it's completely innocent, cute, and you're a dipshit.
That said, I'm kinda thinking poe on account of the username.
Ok, so the rapture ready person was a troll. But, if #1256407's post is any indication, there are actually people who are this paranoid about their kids, and it screws them up.
My initial reaction to this was that the kid is five and I'm sure his intentions are entirely innocent - his parents are just being paranoid and crazy. Poor kid.
I had a crush on a girl when I was 5. There's nothing wrong with it! (Just for the record, though, she didn't know about it and the only time I see her nowadays is when we happen to pass each other in the hall on the way to class.)
EDIT: Oh, it was a troll. Whew.
@Hotspur:"This was a posting by an RR troll. I saw the original thread before it was removed. The admin's changed the name of the poster to "notwhoisaidiwas" to let everyone know they caught him, then later removed the thread. Nothing to see here."
And here I was about to ask "Norma Bates, is that you?" :P
Yes, that adulterous little 5 year old of yours should have his sinning eyes plucked forthwith
EDIT:
"Our 5 year old son told us that he wants to buy flowers for a girl at school during valentines' day, and she likes him."
I bet you didn't know that the little slut bought a condom for your son.
Poe's Law strikes again.
That said, I've definitely seen parents this freaked out about situations like this. Including some fundie parents who started the rumor that my mother was allowing teenage orgies because a huge rainstorm hit on a day when both male and female teenage guests were visiting my parents' house.
Because my mother wanted them to be safe, she allowed them to stay at our house overnight. Boys down in the rec-room, girls in the upstairs bedrooms. No hanky-panky (their house squeaks if the CAT moves across the floorboards.)
Flowers, a 5 year old kid, a little girl...
Notwho etc is not fit to have children. It is truly a perversion of a child's innocence to talk about your son like this.
You are disgusting. Please be a POE. If not, I hope your son disowns you for the sake of his mental and moral health.
This is...oh my God, whoever this fucker is, he needs to have this boy taken away from him, PRONTO, because this kid is gonna grow to be completely confused on how to interact with the opposite sex with a warped "parent" like this.
EDIT: SO glad this is a Poe because there are fundies out there who are this paranoid about the world.
As usual, RaptureRetards prove they are truly DEVOID of any intellgence or intelligent thinking. They think only in terms of mindless slavery to the horseshit book called the KJ Bible.
I feel sorry for your poor son; he will grow up with serious psychological problems/guilt because his parents are RaptureRetards.
Poe.
Wait, RR. Shit!
I've read several forums on RR, but even this just goes above and beyond almost everything I've seen. I'm sure there are a few Poes in there. Please let this be one.
EDIT: Oh, thank the FSM I read that this was really a Poe.
Matthew 5:28 says "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
If I shut down my brain (but keep a little logic) for a moment and look at this as if I were a Creationist, I must ask this: How can someone commit adultery if not being pledged to a partner already?
That's just one of the flaws in her thinking but I can't fit everything in a single comment.
(Just to be clear, I'm a logical person and not a Creationist, I just wanted to point out the flaw while looking from a somewhat logical Creationist's perspective)
But... but... a five-year-old doesn't know what lust is, stupid.
How to manage this? Ask him what kind of flowers he'd like to buy her and that's probably it. This is not even a crush, it will die out on its own, quicker if you don't put down any rules against it.
Yup, as the Bible contradicts itself on so many things its nigh on impossible to raise children for God.
So, a boy giving flowers to a girl violates Matthew 5:28?
How the hell did you two date before you were married? Arranged marriage?!
I'm going to call troll on this one. Other comments are hurtful, stupid, or borderline evil... This one is just kinda sweet and dumb. Hence, Troll.
Zeus...
Your son is neither psychologically nor biologically capable of fornication. He doesn't even know what lust is yet, let alone be harboring it. This is a perfectly normal childhood crush. It's a way of psychologically trying out romance without the threatening aspects. It will fade out in it's own time.
He's five
That's not biologically possible, and the fact that you thought of it in the first place disgusts me.
EDIT: Replace "you" with some other fundie and the message remains relevant.
I've found that buying flowers for girls can be a gateway to fornication, but alcohol works much better.
Of course...when you're five...
If he gives her flowers, she might kiss him.
Better not take the risk.
Lock him up in the basement until he's 21.
Well, first you should delegate this task to your slave, as you know you should have one, because it is said in exodus, than you should shut the fuck up, because you are a woman as said in Timothy, an by the last, you should stone your son to death as said in Deuteronomy 21:18-21 because he is a 5 year old fornicator, or, you could listen to reason, and stop reading this fucking book, and follow just the most important thing jesus ever said "Love thy nighbor like thyself" that is it, it's enought, love your fucking child and let him enjoy life
Sometimes, I pray for children of fundies. How about actually supporting him instead of worrying about this weird "fornication" thing. What the hell is fornication anyway? Lately, the line between "sex before marriage" and "sex during marriage" has been blurred. And the blur started when your comment was made!
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.
