(I haven't found a person I feel worse for on RaptureReady than of this man who refuses to divorce his wife on Christian principles.)
I can say that I know your pain. I'm married (17 years+) to a pretender with passive-aggressive personality disorder. Our courtship was nice but from the morning of our marriage on my gift from my bride has been long-suffering, sorrow, anguish, and despair when I let it get the better of me. One of my prayers has long been that when I'm close to my last breath I will have a pleasant memory or two with regards to my wife.
26 comments
That's just tragic.
And on average, 17 years and all, that means it wouldn't be too late for him to find someone he shares a real, genuine connection with. Just sad.
Talk to her and agree to move on. Jesus won't mind because he has been dead for 2000 years. Ya gotta trust me on this one.
And dude, think how fucking miserable you are making her with this RaptureReady nonsense!
In the Catholic Church, he could get an anullment, provided he didn't know this before the marriage. If not, there are therapies, and the love of a supporting husband(which you apparently aren't)
It sounds to me like he already *is* divorced. This is the sort of legalism that modern fundamentalism seems to promote. As long as you're technically, *legally* not divorced, it's okay to completely disconnect from your marriage and not make any attempt to improve it together, and somehow it's the legal divorce that's bad and not spending years hating each other.
I like the passive-aggressive touch, though. If we believe certain other websites, passive-aggressive is exactly how women are *supposed* to be--no overt challenge to leadership, only manipulation. I'd be willing to bet that these two would probably be happier if they had a knock-down drag-out fight every now and then.
"My gift from my bride?" Dude, I don't call that a gift, I call that a problem. If you weren't so determined to live a lie, you'd let her go and find someone you really have a connection with, and she should do the same. It'd be better for both of you and a lot less hurtful in the long run.
@Syb: I think they're past the point where they care enough about each other to merit the benefits of making up.
Ah, fuck... Just sad... The real sad, not the loser sad...
Divorce might not be the answer, regardless of faith. A person like her needs loving support, even if it isn't much rewarded... That he can't give that support (without harming his spirit) is a problem, but understandable, considering how damn difficult it must be.
Not a fundie. Many non-fundamentalists have their cultures and upbringings to deal with when divorce is concerned. Even if this dude's a fundamentalist at heart (and not just religious), this quote doesn't show it.
"I can say that I know your pain. I'm married (17 years+) to a pretender with passive-aggressive personality disorder."
You fail psychology forever. However, whatever she actually does have it'll be better for both of you in the long run if you end things and go your separate ways.
"Hanging on in quiet desperation is the english way
Uh? sorry, i was listening Pink floyd, what did the fundie said?
@Syb
That's the thing. They are not married anymore. Legally, yes, but for all intents and purposes, they are roommates. Cellmates may even be a better term. Jesus may not like divorce, but that marriage died years ago. May as well declare it legally so.
Don't feel too sorry for this guy. I used to go to Rapture Ready and he once told me that he believed my husband should have been put to death because he was convicted of two felonies in his youth (simple burglary and carnal knowledge of a juvenile). Hardly worthy of a death sentence, don't you think?
No matter how miserable you are, I guarantee she feels a hundred times worse, what with the "serve me, bitch" bullshit your religion loves. She needs your support, not your condemnation, but that's all you seem to want to give her. It couldn't possibly be your fault in any way, could it? Oh no, of course it couldn't... you're the man, and therefore perfect!
I'll bet he played the thoughtful male through the courtship, helping with the housework and everything, but once the bill of sale was signed, he became a selfish, demanding asshole who wouldn't lift a finger around the house. That's what my father did.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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