I was set to run some errands yesterday. I got out and started my car, never considering the clicking I heard when it was turned on. I ran back inside for something, came back out to hop in and, wham, locked. was my initial reponse. I hate to admit this but there was even the thought of smashing the window: silly carnal thinking. I'm using my brother's car until I buy a new one, so he had the other key - 30 miles away. Now even though all worldliness wanted me to think of a way out of it, I got down on knees (in private-though I live alone) and let out my problem to Heaven. And instead of worry, I felt sheer gladness.
I called up my brother and asked if he wanted to come up for lunch - and bring the keys. He actually tried to the unlock on his set. I can laugh at that now. But he called up the friend he bought the car from and got the code to unlock it. The code! I would have never thought of that on my own. I was able to tell my (unbelieving) brother that I prayed for the solution. He said praying wasn't necessary: I told him it was. All of this happened within maybe a ten minute period. It's like I tell my children - answered prayer is proof not only that God exists but that He always hears us and takes care of us no matter how big or small the problem.
67 comments
*Reading through most of it* What's so crazy about this?
*Reads the last few sentences* Oh.
Ugh, how about you give some credit to your brother helping your dumb ass out instead of, whenever somebody shows genuine kindness for you, giving all of the credit to an imaginary sky fairy?
Is that like saying....
I prayed the sun would come up in the morning.
It did.
Therefore, god must exist as this is proof of the power of prayer.
And the problem would have been solved in exactly the same manner without the last two sentences of the first paragraph.
I can lock and unlock my car from my phone. No prayer needed. Just the onstar app.
Remove the prayer, and it would have worked out exactly the same.
I guess this person would praise God for water coming out of the tap when they turn it on.
"... He always hears us and takes care of us no matter how big or small the problem."
Unless you're praying for world peace or the end of childhood starvation or regrowing an amputated limb or, you know, anything at all.
BTW, Your brother is a LOT smarter than you. Maybe that's why he's an "unbeliever."
So god gets the credit for what was actually a perfectly normal solution to the problem.
Meantime, the prayers of the cancer sufferers and the starving remain steadfastly unanswered.
Ok, experiment time!
Why not try locking yourself out of your car again. But this time instead of calling your brother, just pray. Don't do anything else, just pray for a solution.
Then when nothing happens, call your brother again.
EDIT:
Wow, just read the rest of the thread. The problem of evil just doesn't occur to them, does it? I'm glad God has so much time for the petty annoyances of white Americans and their car keys while brown people die from having to drink dirty water
Well, it sounds like prayer did help - in that it gave her a chance to calm down, stop panicking, and consider her options sensibly. Not so much the "power of prayer" as the "power of taking a few moments to calm down", though.
Well it certainly sounds like a miracle to me. I think I'll try praying for an end to the violence between the various factions of God's flock in Northern Ireland. Here we go....
...it's taking a while....
So you ended up calling the owner of the car, and he helped you open it.
What kind of idiot needs to pray to God for that?
The solution was obvious.
There was a grass fire near my house. The wind was blowing in such a direction that my house was in the path of the fire as it moved across the plains. I stood on the roof of my house and prayed to the great goddess Onithuru to stop the flames before they reached my property. About 30 minutes later, the fire was no longer burning. Onithuru answered my prayers, just as she said she would do. When I tried to tell the firemen in their big red trucks, who were in the area of the fire, about how Onithuru stopped the flames, they told me prayer wasn't necessary. I tried to tell them of the great powers of Onithuru, but they just made some lame excuses about rolling up hoses and watching for spot fires, they did not want to listen to me. Answered prayers, such as this one, are proof that Onithuru exists.
Riiiiight, God wouldn't stop Sandy Hook but he will unlock car doors.
Your God needs to get his priorities straight.
1humbleshithead here had better not watch the "Top Gear" Middle East Special" then, if he knows what's good for him, and not just for the trouble(s) Jeremy Clarkson & James May have (as well as Richard 'Hamster' Hammond; but not of an automotive nature...! XP ) with their cars as they drive through Northern Iraq, Turkey & Syria, to get to Jerusalem and give the gifts of Gold, Shampoo & Nintendo DS (don't ask! X3 ) to the Baby Jeezis.
There's the little matter of what happens when the trio get to the Sea of Galilee; Jeremy Clarkson. J.C. Also, what awaits them when they finally get to the rude stable and see what has been born...! >:D
So this person had to pray for common sense? Most people would call someone if they had a spare key they needed.
But, yeah, god takes care of everyone's problems. That's why nobody every starves to death or dies from a disease or gets murdered or anything. The world is a wonderful, perfect place for all who pray.
It's nice to see that your god has time to answer the important prayers. I mean, it's a damn good thing god wasn't off doing something unimportant like feeding starving children in Africa. If he was, then where would you be? Locked out of your car and inconvenienced for an hour or so, that's where!
Praise Gawd!
So God couldn't just unlock the car for you?
Face it, you're thanking God for the help your brother gave you.
Dumb-dumb realizes ze had to call zir brother but thanks God for it.
Being a pantheist, I'd say that thinking for oneself is having "God" do it for you.
If praying to Deity helps you brainstorm, fine but PLEASE give your brother some credit, goofus!
Yes, prayer certainly is a wonderful thing. It's so nice that your sky-daddy could take time out of his busy schedule to help you unlock your car doors.
Now if only he could do the same thing to maybe do something about the starving people of the world or those who pray for cures from terminal illnesses.
You prayed to god to help you get into your car.
Your brother got the car unlocked for you.
"...proof not only that God exists but that He always hears us and takes care of us no matter how big or small the problem."
Yup. I think it's obvious here. Your brother is god.
American Christian prays for trivial matter, problem solved and all glory and praise to God.
Starving villager in third world warzone prays for food and peace, the heavens are silent.
Yup. This God fellow seems worthy of worship.
He actually tried to the unlock on his set. I can laugh at that now.
I heard that it could be done using the car's remote and a cell phone, but Myth Busters killed that idea.
I guess 1humblesheep believes in "Schrodinger's Lock Code" - it didn't exist until he prayed for help!
That's great! I'm glad that the Lord came through for you, and let you get back into your car.
Meanwhile, elsewhere, another starving child has died. She must not have thought to pray for food, eh?
In this case prayer DID work. It calmed this fundie down enough to not break the window of the car and and allowed him time to think of a better solution. Of course, this can also be achieved by meditation, breathing in and out slowly, counting to 10, etc.
You prayed and then felt better and were able to think rationally and come up with a solution. Sure, the prayer helped, just not in the way you think.
A whole shitload of folks beat me to it :)
This a good argument for the non-existence of god. I mean, if I was the awesome, omniscient and omnipotent creator of Earth, all life, and indeed space-time itself; and then found myself reduced to babysitting every inbred ignoramus who couldn't find her own ass with a mirror, both hands and a roadmap, then I would have fucking offed myself millennia ago.
"It's like I tell my children - answered prayer is proof not only that God exists but that He always hears us and takes care of us no matter how big or small the problem."
Soooooo... how'd that 'prayer' and 'faith' thing work out for ya, re. early November last year...?:
image
[/Left -wing Atheistic Hyper-Schadenfreude ]
Prove what we Atheists have always been saying much, Ruptured Retards...?! [/hyper-smug & ultra-superior]
"I was able to tell my (unbelieving) brother that I prayed for the solution. He said praying wasn't necessary: I told him it was"
In the eternal struggle of Man vs. Faith... Man WON! [/Adam Richman] >:D
@Mad_Jester
"@The Crimson Ghost
Maybe he was thinking of smashing the car window with his penis...?"
Nah, that's George Zimmer's department.
...I Guarantee It. X3
This is bad...this person has children and is raising them to think like her! Fuck!
Hopefully they'll catch on the the problems with prayer that the other commentators here have noted.
Also: Am I the only one who noticed the George Carlin joke here?
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#1492992
What a lame-ass story. I prayed to Joe Pesci and my annoyance to the sub par standards of evidence was slightly diminished.
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My brother's legs are paralyzed. In the Vatican he steered his wheelchair as close to the Pope as possible, pushed himself from the seat, and dropped to his knees. When the Pope moved to the spot to help, my brother kissed the hem of this holy man's robe. Very gently the Pope reached down and helped my brother to his feet. Whereupon my bother pitched forward onto his face. His legs are paralyzed, you know.
answered prayer is proof not only that God exists but that He always hears us and takes care of us no matter how big or small the problem.
The other day I really had to pee, very badly. The problem: I was wearing pants and didn't know what to do.
So I got down on my knees and prayed to God. When I got up, the pressure was really, really bad so, I hate to admit this, I inadvertently touched my crotch.
Low and behold, a miracle!! I felt the zipper! My prayer was answered. I pulled down the zipper the all knowing, all loving and benevolent God chose to show me. I was saved. I took a whiz of salvation.
Praise the Lord. Amen.
Sounds like the previous owner of the car is God, since he's the one who provided the answer.
No wonder the brother is an unbeliever with such an idiot as a witness for faith.
And if smashing a car window is carnal thinking, 1humblesheep must be extremely frustrated.
There is no miracle here. You're an idiot who locked your keys in the car and had to call your brother to help. If there really was some deity who answered your prayers, your poor sibling wouldn't have had to drive 30 miles. Next time, carry a spare door key in your wallet/purse, like I do.
Even if your premise regarding the existence of the supernatural was correct, this is still a ridiculous story.
You are a grown adult. You have been licenced to drive a motor vehicle, that depending on the make, would weigh over a metric tonne and can achieve a reasonably lethal speed. You also have children entrusted to your care.
You, the aforementioned grown adult, given the responsibility of said vehicle, get locked out. At which point you get on your knees, (you say in private, though you live alone. What does that imply? Did you lock yourself in the bathroom or something?) and appeal to the creator of the universe.
Are you really so inept and childish that you have to refer even the most straightforward problems to the supernatural? You would've saved some effort if you had actually started thinking like an adult first, instead of depending upon divine supervision to solve your banal and easily addressed crisis.
Hopefully, this person can drive that heavy, fast moving vehicle without needing prayer every time there's a red traffic light.
I wouldn't mind praying for peace of mind. But giving god credit for man's deeds belittles both man and god.
I normally want to slap the crap out of people who say sky fairy, but her god apparently grants random wishes to entitled people. Sounds like a fairy to me!
If your car had remained locked, would you have abandoned your religious beliefs, decided the whole "god" thing was a con and become an atheist? Because, frankly, I'm sure there were plenty of times that you prayed and didn't get what you wanted. As breakerslion pointed out, it's called "confirmation bias": remembering only stuff that confirms what you already believed and forgetting all the stuff that showed you were full of crap.
Apparently they've been reading from the Book of Tarentino.
I mean, it could be God stopped the bullets, or he changed Coke to Pepsi, he found my fucking car keys . You don't judge shit like this based on merit. Now whether or not what we experienced was an according-to-Hoyle miracle is insignificant. But what is significant is I felt the touch of God. God got involved.
-Jules the Hitman, Pulp Fiction
Prayer For Important Tasks And Drivel
O Lord, I thank thee most servilely and from the bottom of my heart for the graciousness of thy sublime spirit in allowing me breath. I beseech thee O Lord to hear my trite and banal drivel.
When thou canst but spare a little time from thy divine and busy works, empowering Satan, the starving of children, propping-up failed bigots, murdering innocents etc, I, your humble supplicant, do hope thy mighty will can be turned toward my daily trivia. If not, don't worry, my brother's coming anyway.
I thank thee, O Lord, for all thy terrific help.
Amen
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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