Jesus is up in heaven, getting his shoes on, feeling anxious and excited ...saying "can I go NOW?"
80 comments
Getting his shoes on?!
These people are simple.
2000 years to put on a pair of sandals?
"Hmmm, do I want that pair, or that pair?"
The dead fucker has been stumbling around heaven like the zombie he is for 2,000 years in a pair of sandals, leaving trails of ichor all over the streets of gold, and now - NOW he can't wait to get into a pair of Bruno Maglis and do what?
God: Jesus, what are you doing?
Jesus: I started the Rapture.
God: Turn it off. I don't want all those fundies coming here.
Jesus: Aw, me do I have too.
God: Yes, I do. Now turn it off or I will send me to Hell.
Jesus: Oh all right.
...cause I got my good shoes on
meh, 1000 internets to those who get the reference. :-)
First he has to take out the trash, clean his room, teach his little sister how to ride a bike, finish his homework, feed the hamster, walk the dog, change the litter box, set the table, mow the lawn, help the neighbor get her cat out of the tree, practice on his clarinet (squeeeeek squaaaaaaaawk squeeeeeeeeek), and call his grandma in Florida.
Asswipe
C'mon, guys. There are some pretty ridiculous quotes on this site, but this is not one of them. It's a METAPHOR. Beyond believing in God, and that he will one day come to redeem the world, there's really nothing weird here. I don't even need context to see that.
..and then I answer ;"Who told you that you can speak dog?" as I yank him down to the ground near my boots and I step on his head. "You arent going back to earth for until 13,500 generations have gone by and the world has completely given up on you..that way you can throw EVERYONE in hell!...no lick my balls bitch!"
And it gets scary when taking into account that the people at RR seriously believe that father god trusted this childish Jesus with the divine nuclear launch codes for the apocalypse ... and it gets really, really scary when taking into account that the people at RR seriously believe that this is a good thing, and they cannot wait until this childish Jesus starts to play with the nuclear launch codes.
@Berny
Perhaps The J was just feeling a little beside Himself that night. He was only human, you know. --- Or not?
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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