So far the only Deity that science can now prove knows the germ theory is the God Yahweh. This fact will lead to proving His existence.
69 comments
While it can be fun to collect random words into a sentence, it is rare, indeed, to create anything meaningful enough to share on the internet. This is a case in point.
What is the germ theory and how does science prove that YHWH knows it?
And, if they can prove that YHWH knows something, isn't that allready proof that he exist. You have to exist first, before you can know anything. Duh!
Edit. A visit to Wikipedia later: Aha, that is the Germ Theory. Does YHWH know the Earth is Round Theory?
News Article:
Scientists today proved that the God Yahweh is well versed in germ theory. They determined this after administering a first year biology quiz to almost two dozen deities world wide.
Of the handful that responded (and can therefore be assumed to exist) only Yahweh was familiar with germ theory.
However, his understanding of evolution was "woeful" according to one scientist. Both Zeus and Vishnu out-performed the One True God on all evolution questions.
The Essence of Zen Buddhism is also believed to have responded to the quiz - but the answers were all perplexing philosophical Koans, and the scientists awarded no marks.
These guys amaze me. They can't even consider the notion that rules about cleanliness came from human observation, not a god who knew about germs.
Why didn't Yahweh tell them about microbes instead of telling them that leprosy could be cured with blood from dead birds and lambs?
I'm still trying. You are saying that:
Science can prove Yahweh knows about germ theory, so that fact will lead to his existance being proved... The first part of your "sentence" implies Yahweh must have already been proved, but then his existance needs to be proved anyway?
I think you are batshit insane.
You'd think that a god who knew all about germs in the Bronze Age would have been able to count the number of legs on an insect, or tell the difference between a bird and a mammal though, wouldn't you?!
Mr. Yahweh the Great Hoodoo,
- With apologies to Matt and Trey.
You'd think some biblical scholar would have pointed out Yahweh's "germ theory" in the Bible before germs were actually discovered. In fact, the church assumed disease was the result of "sin" and generally obstructed the search of alternatives by them damn "humanists".
What good is a reference to something that is so general, obscure or unintelligible that no one can find a connection until after the fact? That's like shooting an arrow at a wall, drawing a target around it and saying "see what a great shot I was".
Yahweh's a germ now? Actually that's kind of appropriate! Someone should name the next pandemic the Yahweh virus or whatever on account of it's fictional namesakes total douchebaggery, lack of smarts, spiteful malevolence and his alleged capacity for throwing homicidal, psychotic temper tantrums.
Beautiful work, LexKitten, just beautiful.
And maybe this "proves" that our friend spaceamoeba is actually God.
Funny. The founder of the Hindu Jain sect had some ideas on the matter of germs. Most likely coincidence, of course, but he forbade his followers to eat onions, for fear of "invisible evil spirits" living on the onions.
@Paschal Wagner:
I think so...
The flying spaghetti monster also knows about germ theory. So does the invisible pink unicorn, the lich king, the giant bee in the center of the sun, Haruhi, Dr. House and Raiden the god of lightning.
Pretty much every culture managed to figure out that cleanliness + proper food preparation = less disease, including the Hebrews. It hasn't exactly been a secret, despite the fact that microorganisms were only discovered a couple centuries ago. You don't need the bible or advanced science to spot a correlation between actions and bad or good outcomes.
We only learned about microorganisms once society switched from being primarily religious to a more scientific way of looking at things. If it weren't for that change in view, we'd still think that demons and sin were causing disease.
...but I thought science was evil? And therefore, created by Satan. So Satan's proving to us that this god thing exists... so we'll believe in him and be saved.
Ding ding. Train to Crazy Town's about to leave. Please put on your helmet and seatbelt.
GREG HOUSE is GOD!
SAVE ME, HOUSE!!
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.
