If you think that Christianity is a myth or fake then test it.
Test my GOD if you wish. Pray to him and said, "That a child of yours told me to test his GOD THAT'S YOU." Then when you get done saying that. You could pray for heath or healing or marriage or new house or new car what ever you want to pray about. It mite be a while. You just have to keep praying OVER AND OVER. When you get done talking to him say AMEN.
When I'd was typing this comment I was also praying on it. I'd felt the POWER OF THE LIVING GOD GOING THROUGHT TO THE KEYBROAD.
GOD AND JESUS CHRIST WANT'S TO BE YOUR FRIEND.
72 comments
It might be a while, and you might have to do all the legwork yourself (as in, finding a new house/car/job), but honest, after you've busted your ass trying to get a new job, and spent months on searching...
...praise GOD for letting you find it.
Not your own hard work.
Yeah.
Actually, Jesus was very clear to Satan, in the dessert you know, when he suggested him to make a show like the nonsense you're suggesting. Not even he agrees with you. Isn't there anything more pathetic?
Jesus also said, "Test your GOD my FATHER,"
Wrong! Jesus said you DO NOT put God to a test. Please read the bible, asshole.
"You could pray for heath or healing or marriage or new house or new car what ever you want to pray about. It mite be a while. You just have to keep praying OVER AND OVER"
WE HAVE TO TRUST THAT THE JUG OF MILK KNOWS WHUTS BEST LULZ
@Avowed_Cynic
You win the intertubes.
Pray for heath? I did like Dartmoor but not that much.
And I have no use for friends who never call, never come over, never even speak to me and really behave like allround condescending annoyances.
I was done trying to talk to him when I was 13.
Who's the keybroad? You're not fornicating with her, are you?
I have my own method of testing god. It goes like this:
Come on and smite me you cowardly dog! Show me what you've got! If you had half the courage of a paranoid hypochondriac deserter, I'd already be a smouldering crater by now, you craven wretch! You may have neither honour nor shame, but do you not even care about giving these brainless worms that writhe at your feet a good show?
So far, no god has taken up my challenge.
You know Chuck Norris would.
Wouldn't testing god go against the whole "having faith" thing?
"GOD AND JESUS CHRIST WANT'S TO BE YOUR FRIEND."
Yeah, so did the nice man with the candy who pulled up beside me in his car when I was 11. Actually that never happened to me but that statement was soooo creepy.
So, a guy called LoneWolf says Jesus wants to be my friend. Shall we assume that Jesus is the only friend LoneWolf has?
I'm sure if I prayed OVER AND OVER, every single day for years, I'd eventually get a new car, but I'm pretty sure that going to the dealer and buying one has more to do with it than the prayer does.
LORD, please accept this sacrifice of milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them, please send me no sign.
Thy will be done
[sounds of cookie munching]
"I'd felt the POWER OF THE LIVING GOD GOING THROUGHT TO THE KEYBROAD."
No, that's a short in the keyboard shocking you. It also seems to have activated your CAPS LOCK key.
"I'd felt the POWER OF THE LIVING GOD GOING THROUGHT TO THE KEYBROAD. "
Explains your grammar, syntax and spelling ...
Nothing wrong with making friends with gods. Nothing wrong with saying, "J, man, it'd really rock if there was a free parking space in this here parking lot I am pulling into." And if there happens to be, nothing wrong with saying, "yo man, thanks. You ever need anything, you know where I am."
Of course one probably shouldn't bother Jesus with trivial things. But certainly nothing wrong with making occasional requests (even as one tries to sort things out personally) for assistance in major crises.
I have found the universe surprisingly accomodating in all such cases. Hence, practical god.
Well, they clearly don't want to be my friend, becaus eI'm homosexual.
As for praying over and over, the prayers would presumably turn the person into a fundie anyway.
Also, God is not Santa.
I think I'll go pray that money showers down on me from the sky and that a girl my age who happens to be the hottest, nicest, and most intelligent person who ever lived falls madly in love with me and we have a lifelong romance.
Of course, when that doesn't happen the fundies will all tell me that I have to pray for mundane things or something.
Nice try.
What you felt through your keyboard may simply have been a mild electrical short induced by pooling dribbled nonsense. If you want a new car, work your job and alter your finances to save for one. Prayer is time spent not working, not accumulating the wealth to buy material things, ergo, counterproductive to your desire to have a new car. And surely #DEITY has better things to do than listen to your mutterings about material things.
Perhaps #DEITY could start with AIDS, or the bloodshed in Libya, or perhaps a fresh new modern tome to correct its wayward flock on how not to be sociological black holes.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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