I've received a prophetic word that I'm gonna be a Prophetess, like my aunt, and she's mentoring me. I guess the next step is to be able to when you feel the presence of a demon in the air, to be able to pinpoint where it is. I think I'm starting to.
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Damn, I was going to submit this. This thread was hilarious, with one lone voice saying 'people, demons don't exist'.
Ah, but do you cover your head while you prophesy, and are you careful not to do it (at least out loud) while in church? Remember, Paul says you're going to hell otherwise, you shameful hussy you.
XD
This reads like something straight from an anime, except that in that case it would be a miko not "prophetess", she would use a bow and she'd be hot.
Oh, and that noone would REALLY believe it.
Tell your doctor about any prior mental hospital admissions before you begin taking Christianity.
Christianity may cause a drop in IQ. Until you know how Christianity will affect you, don’t try to drive, operate complex machinery or argue about evolution.
If you start seeing demons, call your doctor immediately as this may be a sign of cerebral inflammation.
Do not take Christianity if your mother and father are brother and sister.
Christianity may be habit forming. If you become interested in becoming a nun, stop taking Christianity immediately.
Christianity.
Have you been saved?
A prophecy was once made over me. I would have to choose: I could live a thousand years alone or live one year with my true love. Rubbish of course since I don't believe in true love anyway. Still a difficult connundrum. The things I could see in 1000 years, but no one to share them with.
If true I'll take the later choice. Who knows what kind of monster I'd be after 1000 years.
Prophets receive a direct line from The Sky Daddeh. They don't have l33t Bleach animu powerz. Also they're supposed to be 100% accurate, or they're to be marked as having no real power (at best), or an enemy (at worst).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_prophet
See, you're supposed to hold both cans in one hand and then telepathically audit the demon before you expel it, you got that? Dave Touretzky has instructions.
Is it just me, or does a great amount of fundamentalist Christianity seem to revolve around the idea of "Hey, can I be a holy superhero too?" Then again, they have that in common with an astonishing number of new agers and neopagans as well... it just seems so childish is all, especially when the rest of us want our toys, we have to earn them or build them ourselves.
Love your comment, NJ Osprey.
The question I have for DimBulb here is, can she prove that her prophetic word actually came from Gawd? Because otherwise she could find herself being weighed against a duck, and that never ends well.
NJ Osprey - Great Comment.
EDIT: Just realised how much like a T4C'er that makes me sound.
Amen, lol.
Don't worry, you're nowhere near the levels of (bounce) required to pass for a T4C sycophant.
"Amen! God is great for blessing this forum with ur presence, for you know His will better than anyone!!!! AMEN AMEN AMEN!!!!!! :D:D:D (bounce)"
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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