[Jake99 is still claiming to be the MESSIAH]
The Commonwealth of Massachusetts already tried to crucify me in court on twenty occaisions just in the 2 years surrounding Y2K and I won my freedom twice in trials while claiming to be the Christ.I dont know how many dozens of prophecies that fullfilled but what I did prior to that altercation was far more valuable in terms of works which were many and miraculous. I was given the production managers position for many facilities that were in total chaos and restored them to peace and prosperity when many groups of others before me failed. I do not fail in the workplace or in court no matter what the challenge and I have been doing that for decades in every field of endeavor I could get involved in. And I come from a family of superior athletes, entertainers and business people. I did not present myself to this thread or whatever it is.
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I was given the production managers position for many facilities that were in total chaos and restored them to peace and prosperity when many groups of others before me failed
Jake99...Starbucks Messiah.
Martyn, you'd be giving him exactly what he wants. I suggest binding his ankles, spraying his ass with the scent of a female crocodile in heat and the chucking him in a crocodile-infested river during mating season.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No actual company would hire a nutter like you for anything higher than junior janitor.
If I had to bet, I'd bet you come from a family who disowned you years ago. They may be athletes, entertainers and business people, but they are doing it without you.
Star Cluster, I agree. In fact, I'm wondering if we should be laughing at a person who is so obviously mentally ill. I dunno, but it kind of feels dirty (and not in a good sense). Just saying.
Well, he's either Jesus or he's not. So I guess we all have to be agnostic about it. In fact, we should go ahead and put him in the schoolbooks in Kansas, just to fairly represent all sides of the debate.
Delusions of grandeur, especially Messianic delusions, are a hallmark of schizophrenia. You'd know this as demon possesion, Jake99.
Hey David Kor... er, I mean Jake99, how come so many maniacs always claim to be Jesus, but never Judas or King Herod? I would just love it if some nutjob claimed to be Pontius Pilate or even Barabbas.
I do not fail in the workplace or in court no matter what the challenge and I have been doing that for decades in every field of endeavor I could get involved in. And I come from a family of superior athletes, entertainers and business people.
blah, blah, blah, I'll bet you'll claim you have an Ivy League education and your schlong is 10 inches. Whatever.
This reminds me of this guy I once met. He went to a public high school, but claimed that he not only came from an extremely wealthy family, but also had his own private jet which flew him to Europe every weekend (or something to that effect). I used to think that he was kidding until I heard about how angry he would get whenever people told him that they didn't believe him. Eventually he got expelled for secretly videotaping girls walking down the hallways.
Dude needs way more than therapy - needs medication. Classic paranoid schizophrenia. Speaking of schizophrenia, I have a great book I picked up years ago called "Mental Illness, Possession, Exorcism and Life After Death" by Dr. Francis Harber (an optometrist), who thinks that mental ilness is caused by "possessing and obsessing spirits." Bet the fundies would agree with that.
So, your proof that you are the Messiah, the Second Coming of God On Earth, is that you ... succeeded as a middle manager and won a few court trials.
Heck, if that isn't proof of omnipotence, I don't know what is....
There you are, Jesus! I've been looking for you for the last 2,000 years! I suppose you still think you're funny for getting crucified first, hmm? Feh, Yahweh always did like you better. That doesn't matter now, though! While you took 2,000 years off goofing off in heaven, I've been stuck on Earth performing miracles! Yes, miracles , like ending war in the Middle East. Of course, ever ceasefire I work out ends up destroyed by you and your little "rapture" fad. So fine. Do what you want. Claim to be the Messiah. I'll be the one who gets the Most Miracles award at the God Convention.
One question: I've heard that you and your daddy Yahweh are the same person. All your followers claim it. So, when you fuck Yahweh up the ass, is that incest or masturbation? (Not that I'm implying anything.)
Well, to be a Messiah, you must be having a hard time trying to convince others, if you have to troll sites like this.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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