Tisk, tisk. Wyatt, the pseudo-intellect couldn't resist paying us a visit. Just like with DocDoom, I can take you blow for blow and then you may report back to your dicknose friends over at FC and inform them that we really are all nothing but a group of retards.
Trick or treat fanboys.
Since this is Halloween, I thought I'd take a trip to the damned. You know, take a winding mule ride all the way down to the bottom of your underground shithole and see how you're all doing in the midieval sauna.
Your comment reminds me of a joke. What's the difference between a donkey ride through the Grand Canyon and going down on your mom? I don't know, but either way you don't want to look down.
Or is it a bath house these days? You Hellions have so many sizzling fads. And they're all hawt.
Funny how you know so much about gay trends. You must be studying the gay lifestyle alot.
The problem with Dante is that he didn't directly address the damned when he took his field trip. He should have J-Dubbed you. Knocked on your door and given you the red book, at least!
Perhaps I can correct that and at the same time correct your stupid little third grade assumptions of theologic dumbshittedness.
"Theological dumbshittedness"? I guess, in your narrow scope of reality, theological "dumbshittedness" would apply to anyone who is not of the Christian faith?
Its good to see you all, you fukked up children of the corn.
Good mourning.
So, let's start with the top of your list re your petty God hate fetish; Hell.
Hell rocks, boys & girls.
I've heard hell is pretty nifty. From watching South Park it seems like alot of fun, what with the parties and celebrity guest appearances and all.
Without Hell, you would have to bunk next to Ted Bundy and underneath John Gacey, which would suck ass because apparently Gacey sweats in his sleep and all that clown makeup would drip all over you.
Why does it not surprise me that you would bring two sexually deviant serial killers into this discussion?
Where else are we going to put our spiritual psychos?
Free Conservatives?
You don't believe in Hell. They gotta go somewhere. And all that 'white light' that Shirley McLaine talked about? Uh... yeah. Well, you see, that's just the anteroom, the waiting room for the NEXT ROOM.
So since there's no pervert/serial murderer placement program down here, maybe you guys could help house these two?
Therefore, I vote that they both help you bust rent.
You know, your comments would be really entertaining if they made any fucking sense. Now, I know you and DocDoom and the rest of the inbred myopic nutbags over at FC are delusional enough to believe you are super intellectual, morally superior human beings. All you do is mix up a bunch of metaphors and swear words in about eighteen run-on sentences and that somehow is supposed to make you look like a fucking Einstein? You must think you really pwn3d everyone here with your endless barrage of non-sensical insults.
Next problem, just for your vacuous sensitives: freewill. I know you'll dig this one. Its an atheist fav.
Without Hell, there is no freewill. Hell is your chance to be apart from God. I would think you would all dig that shit real hard.
Hell is your little hideaway, folks. Most of you still live with mommy and daddy, right? Good. See, Hell is like that room you're co-opting in the attic where you don't have to pay rent, but you can still have girls over and get all the STDs you want. You never have to grow up in Hell. Its for stunted numbnuts like you, emotionally incarcerated perpetually at the puberty goth stage of pediatric development.
Hell is going to be your wonderful little playground with broken glass sprinkled into every conversation and piss on the floor. Its your ghetto, but its also your freedom. You can be whatever you want down there and do whatever you want. No curfews. No age of consent laws. No statutes. No limitations. No rules. You don't even have to eat your VEGGIES!
There is no such thing as free will, from a Christian theology standpoint. Your God supposedly embodies specific characteristics that define his deity. God is omniscient. God is omnipotent. God is benevolent. If God is omniscient and you believe the passage in Isaiah that says he knew you when you were conceived and even before then, then your life is nothing more than a well choreographed puppet show for God's amusement. If he already know how your life is going to pan out long before you were the load your mama should have swallowed, then free will is merely an earthly concept. It is a myth to allow you to say "God is in control" when you're still making all the moves.
God loved you so much that He didn't want to automate your responses. Otherwise, He could have just made blow-up dolls.
Here again, even though your responses are not automated, your God still knows what your responses will be.
If you don't believe in Hell, you prefer mannequins. And mannequins don't argue. You can do whatever you want with them. Its like having a muslim wife! Your own personal assistant with web based software! We glue on the horse hair at the factory, but don't worry. It looks just like Ashley Simpson's before the bad dye job.
So, let's summate things.
No Hell means no penetentiary. You'll have to take up the slack.
No Hell also means no choosing power. You can't be free.
And why would you want to be forced to go to Heaven anyway? That wouldn't be right. Number one, you don't like God. Why would God force you to suffer His presence?
The concept of hell is bogus, unless your God truly is the heartless turd that Christians convey to non-christians. Christians claim that non-christians send themselves to hell. The Bible says that Jesus is the way, the truth and the life and that NO ONE comes to the father except THROUGH HIM. If that's the case then we obviously need God's help to enter into heaven. If we don't have the power to get ourselves into heaven, we don't have the power to get ourselves into hell either. Unless, of course, your God is not all-powerful.
And finally, what we sometimes forget is that Hell isn't all that bad. Its a freedom lover's dream. You get to still ARGUE over that parking space and cuss people out. Remember, its CHAOS. That's Hell's other handle: PANDEMONIUM.
Its like a rock concert down there. DECIBELS.
Its a party down there.
Heaven doesn't allow for vexation. Its very prohibitive. None of you would like it anyway.
That's why you should all stop badmouthing God. He's being fair with you guys. He made you your very own special place, just for you. He went out of His way so as not to offend you.
Actually, the Bible says hell has not been opened yet. The book of Revelation says that the gates of hell will be opened upon Christ's triumph over Satan and his minions.
Hell is total ego satisfaction, all the time. No holds barred. Whatever you want! Its on the table. Do whatever WHENEVER. I would think that would be popular. Its very egalitarian. You should praise God for your freedom to be apart from Him. Why would you nightlifers, you vamps, want to be blinded by His light?
The Earth is kind of neutral. Its good and bad. It sucks and its great.
Heaven and Hell are a bit more stark in either directional sense. A bit more hardened, but that means its more intense.
Why would it be when we die that we all just kind of float into the white light of forgetfulness like baking hash in a spoon and injecting it into our bodies? Says who? Shirley McLaine? Yeah, we all want that white light, man. Its like... total!
For seriously.
But, the earth sucks a lot of the time. And if the earth sucks, what's to say that the next world doesn't? I don't quite 'get' the logic there.
Unless, of course, there is no afterlife at all.
Actually, it would make more sense, intuitionally speaking, that if the earth sucks, the next place could quite possibly SUCK MORE! You know, just extrapolate a little and you're there.
Your experience here on earth is what you make of it. The difference between me and you is that you treat others like shit here on earth because you have your eyes on the eternal prize in the sky. I mean, why would someone live for the here and now and worry about reeping earthly consequences when they can't think of anything else but their eternal date with Jesus bullshit? I, along with most other non-christians, don't believe in eternal reward for reciting the back of a Chick Tract. We focus more on the concept that this life is it. When you die, you die so you'd goddamned better make it the best life you can. Christians are fucking lazy. They sit back and let Satan take all the responsibility for their shitty actions, claim "I'm not perfect, just forgiven" or "well, take it up with GOD if you don't like what I'm saying".
That white light bullshit is just wishful thinking by cheery hearted dope smokers who want to score cheap book royalties on your lame unthinking ass.
Kind of like the people who wrote the Bible?
So, be careful my black sheep. That next heart palpitation, that skipped beat in your chest, if it finally stops. You could be in the noisy hot place. The midievalers had it right.
Look into those Hieronymous Bosch paintings. That dude saw something. And Hell, I see something everyday here on the news; rapes, murders, what's going on in the Sudan. Hell is real because Hell is already here. Right now. What's to make you believe that over there will be any different?
What makes you believe that hell on earth isn't the only hell that exists?
Now, give me some candy.
*hands Wyatt aresenic coated candy corn*
