Oh I am afraid it is satan that is interrupting you. You must immediately pray for Jesus' forgiveness and confide in your local Minister so that he can tell what vile thoughts you have in your mind that attract satan so much, for satan does not ring one's doorbell in vain.
I have practically never been interrupted myself, I can pray with a clear conscience. Only once or twice has satan tempted me, namely with needy children and pot roasts that are burning in the oven. But I have stood firm and devoted my time to service the LORD and the SON.
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Only once or twice has satan tempted me, namely with needy children and pot roasts that are burning in the oven. But I have stood firm and devoted my time to service the LORD and the SON.
You cook children with your pot roast?
Yeah, remind me never to eat dinner at your house. And WHY do you still even *have* "needy children" running around your house? If, as you've said in an earlier psychotic rant, you've been preaching the end times at your family for the last 7-8 years, I'd like to think that someone has gone to the proper authorities and told them that you're as crazy as a shithouse rat, and you're a danger to everyone around you.
I hope the next burning pot roast starts the fire that burns your house down! Remember, those "needy children" will be the ones signing your ass into the old folks' home, when your precious rapture never comes.
Bets RR reads Michael Pearl?
From scouting that forum: Is it just me, or is this the most disturbing smiley ever?
image
o.O
Well I think...
*big Satanic voice* GRAWWWWWR!
Well this post....
GRAWWWWWWRAAHHHHEVILPOTROASTS!
Satan, dude, that's really not cool. It's rude to interrupt.
Wow, horrible parenting skills.
Amusingly enough, they see we are the ones who are bad with kids.
I just love it when they try and out fundie each other. I'm a better Christian than you, because I don't let life get in the way of my fantasy world.
Yes, yes, tell your minister all of your vile thoughts. Make sure you inform him of every dirty detail. Kneel before him while he cleanses you.
Bah, RR was much funnier when it was Poe-proof.
I can't believe this is serious even coming from that hotbed of stupidity
And I'm afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive...
Hey, it has as much grounding in reality.
Oh, so Satan is tempting you with Paedophilia?
Since when is Michael Jackson the Devil?
I thought he was just funky.
Kid: Mom, I think the pot roast is burning.
Mom: *keeps praying*
Kid: Mommy, really, I'm getting scared, there are flames coming out of the oven.
Mom: *keeps praying*
Kid: Mommy!! The house is burning! Come on, mommy, we have to get out of here! We have to leave now!
Mom: *brushes kid away and keeps praying*
---
Wow. Real life is SATAN for interrupting the mumbling to an imaginary master. The house could burn down, the kids could be abducted, and this fool will continue to mumble. Like, wow.
What if the house catches on fire? Can you stop then? Or is that more of Satan's trickery? Just like when he made little Suzy fall in the pool. Sure, you could have saved her, if it weren't SATAN trying to TRAP you.
Even on RR this person isn't being taken serioulsy...
FSTDT, come on, when RR has higher standards about responding to Poe's than here, you know there's a problem.
{facepalm} Assuming Saito isn't being sarcastic, just what does he think God gave us a non-solipsistic cosmos for? The way he puts it, you'd think the dispensationalists see as one of the proofs of chimera in Islam the claim that Muhammad bargained with God to reduce the number of required prayer sessions from fifty per day to five per day. The "sin" here being that the dispensationalists might think that trying to lower the number at ALL was a Bad Thing(tm).
Kronos: Then you don't know your Babble. God's hetero, sure, but Jesus is bi. Remember, he loves us every oooone~
The Holy Ghost is...what's the term...pansexual? It comes down on EVERYthing.
Oh, my gods. This is *insane*.
Satan causes needy children, and burning pot roasts?
Maybe you should choose your time to pray a bit more wisely.
satan does not ring one's doorbell in vain.
Those damned Mormons and Jehovas do.
(Hm, smells like the roast is burning. Oh, I know - it's Satan trying to trick me. I'll ignore it. Get thee behind me, smoke detector!)
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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