I am doing my best as God instructed to submit to my Husband as head of the house hold, but I just don’t agree with his choices.
He loves me, and this is his way of “providing”. I have tried to talk him out of it, but he won’t listen. I am afraid he has us stretched too thin. Yes, we still have a roof over our heads, he keeps reminding me, when I ask him to re-think things.
I went to our pastor and asked him to intervene. He asked my Husband to come in and we would all talk. My Husband said “yes” at first, but then canceled the meeting. He told me not to involve our pastor again, because he had a “plan” to provide for our family, and no one understands it enough to appreciate it. He accuses me of not having enough faith in him OR God to see us through.
68 comments
Milking the Catz: "Find a husband that's not interested in keeping you as a slave, dear."
And a religion that doesn't hate you for being a woman.
What should I try now?
1. Try hooking your husband up with a professional business advisor so he can get solid, useful advice for managing his home businesses.
2. Try opening a savings account for yourself and dumping as much money as you can, in case of a rainy day.
Don't feel weird about having to be the family accountant. It was like that with my parents and my wife is the one who handles the cash in our house. If I had to guess I'd say that's how it is in most households these days. Women just seem to have a knack for saving and managing money.
When did "Husband" get a capital 'H'?
But yea. What the others said. She needs to get away. He sounds nutty. A plan no one else can understand? And that apparently doesn't work... And he keeps doing it??
Get out (as in away from him. I do not think it's safe).
Well you have a choice. If you want to stay true to your religious ideas, shut the hell up and follow him into the poor house. You have no right to question him.
However if you decide to take a stroll down the sane side of the street, leave him. Grab the kids and head for your mothers. Maybe you leaving will shock him into changing, if not, then divorce his ass and do something better with your life.
1. Follow the advice of some of the others who have commented.
I reccomend the second choice but the decision is yours.
Get a job and a divorce before your husband runs up thousands of dollars in debt in your name.
My sister had her credit ruined probably for life because of the debt her loving husband ran up.
Marriage is liability in modern times.
Get a wealthy sugar daddy, ask him for money on a regular basis and deposit it into a secret bank account. Then, when the hubby finally crashes and burns, leave him! Don't let that fool of a man drag you down with him.
What should I try now?
'God' didn't instruct you to submit to your husband. That was a bunch of primitive nomads who made the rules so that they could enjoy power over their womenfolk.
That is what your husband is doing. He is robbing you of your freedom and your money, and possibly of your home. He needs to get a proper job and live up to his responsibilities. Otherwise, you have no choice but to leave him before you end up in the gutter.
Praying won't work, I'm afraid.
fergus
1. Pray all you want, it won't change a single thing.his slack.
Sounds like the husband is in some cult worst than Christian Fundamentalism, called Amway.
There is no god.
Kill yourself.
Walk out on him and get your own job.
Or if you love him too much - get a job and pay off the debts yourself. Theres is no shame in doing that, despite what your sect might think.
1. Try hooking your husband up with a professional business advisor so he can get solid, useful advice for managing his home businesses.
2. Try opening a savings account for yourself and dumping as much money as you can, in case of a rainy day.
Don't feel weird about having to be the family accountant. It was like that with my parents and my wife is the one who handles the cash in our house. If I had to guess I'd say that's how it is in most households these days. Women just seem to have a knack for saving and managing money.
But beeblebrox, all of those things would constitute usurping authority from her husband and owner, as laid down in the magical hebrew book of shit! She can't do that!
Run, run as fast as you can! (while you can)
Or just stick with your husband till you live on the street with him! It's god's will, I'm sure!
Tell him to get off his ass, and go get a thing the rest of us like to call a JOB.
Oh, and he could drop by the clue store while he's out, and pick up one of those as well.
RUN, don't walk, as fast as you can. My "wonderful" husband had a job, but he gambled away some of our money and did who knows what with the rest. After 15 years I FINALLY got my credit back in the "good" range (barely).
ask your pastor to come to the house. Have him arrive when your husband is at home but DO NOT tell your husband he is coming for a visit. He may get mad but you also may be sleeping in your car soon and you know deep down who will get the most comfortable spot. You need to get firm. I'm assuming you don't have children but if you do you MUST do something to protect them. He may be worried that you are actually smarter than him.:) You've been praying. Did it occur to you your prayers may have been answered? Maybe God gave you the strength to stand up to your husband to break the cycle. What's next is your call. Use your brain.
I wonder if any of these people read our remarks?
Go out into the real world and establish a career. If he won't do it, you will have to, for your children's sake.
If he interferes, divorce his ass.
That is the little problem with the faith in the superiority of the males that you fundies have. Often ist is not the man who is the reasonable and intelligent prson in the family ;)
But well, if you insist on keeping this baseless faith in male intellectual superiority, it is your problem and you have to endure that your husband is probably driving your family into ruin ;)
Just don´t try to force your beliefs on anyone else
Grow a backbone, learn to stand up for yourself, dump the selfish, wasteful, ignorant idiot and get a job. Yeesh. I can't understand why someone would lock themselves into such idiocy. At least it's good that there's no abuse involved, I guess.
@Allegory for Jesus: Eurgh, the thought of being married to Bob or someone like him makes me shudder.
You're going to be out on your ass very soon. That, or not have money to eat. I know from experience. Though in my case, I wasn't able to work ('nother country, no work visa, blah blah) though I desperately wanted to, and my husband (now ex) squandered our rent/bill/food money on video games and other random crap.
A few months of living on rice (one meal a day) will hopefully wake this woman up. I just hope they don't have kids that will have to suffer through that as well.
A marriage is a partnership; If he's trying to make money but failing, then you have a responsibility to work so that you have a legitimate say in things. A woman as wife shouldn't assume that she has a meal ticket because she keeps house.
He's trying, badly, to better things for you both; perhaps he just needs guidance and critical support, and the knowledge that he doesn't have to do it all.
I think folk are being a bit harsh, sounds like they are a perfect match..........in stupidity.
Dare I say: "a match made in Heaven" :-)
I think some of these comments are mean, but some have offered helpful advice. I feel sorry for her, she is trying her best to cope with a bad situation. She has tried talking to her husband and asking for help from someone she thought her husband would listen to. I'm sure this is a situation any family could get into. You don't have to be a fundie to be bad with money. She might not be able to get a job because she has young children.
She sounds smart and capable (more so than her husband anyway) if only she hadn't been brainwashed into thinking she had to submit to her husband.
It can only mean two things:
Pray some more. And if your husband keeps doing what he does then keep praying and doing what he says. If your husband fails then it is the will of god to test you to see if you be faithful to him.
Remember, men are the head of women as Jesus is the head of the church. Do your Womanly Christian duty and support your husband or suffer the wrath of Christ Jesus.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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