David J. Stewart #fundie

David J. Stewart #fundie jesus-is-savior.com

If I had my way, I would burn every New International Version of the Bible in existence! I would burn every copy of Today's International Version as well. I would burn every copy of the corrupted New King James Version. In fact, I would burn every perverted Bible out there, including the Living Bible and Good News for Modern Man. I would burn the Revised Standard Version. God only wrote one book folks! Matthew 4:4 commands us to live by "every word" of the Bible. To do that we must have an "every word" Bible. We have it in the 1611 King James Bible which has been tested and proven trustworthy over the centuries.

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old comment by Anon-e-moose

Troll/Subhuman4Life uses the NIV. Let the Fundie Fight begin. >:D

"We have it in the 1611 King James Bible which has been tested and proven trustworthy over the centuries."

Ermmmmm, a word in your shell-like, Davey-boy. You hate teh ebil Gheys, do you not? They are an abomination to your 'God', are they not? Better sit down, as I have some very bad news for you, re. the one who authorised your precious 'tested and proven trustworthy' King James Bible:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_relationships_of_James_I_of_England

There's a fucking good reason why it's sometimes referred to as the Queen James Bible.

(*Ding-Ding!*):

Let the Fundie Fight II begin. One man enters...! >:D

Using a Bible that is born of a homo abomination?! Heretic, burn thyself!

old comment by Hasan Prishtina

Matthew 4:4 says "Jesus answered, “It is written: Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'" That's the mouth of God, not the Bible.

So your saying that the King James Bible is the only version that contains "every word of the Bible"? That's tantamount to saying there was divine revelation after the New Testament, which is written in the Greek of the time. This renders your Christianity, with its "divine" KJV, no more authentic than that of the LDS with their Book of Mormon and Pearl of Great Price.

@ Swede

Fundies like the KJV because it was translated at a time before the development of higher criticism, when people did not yet know of the various sources that made up the first five books, and when archaeological and scientific evidence was very scant. It has a number of errors, many of which betray the confirmation bias of the Protestant divines doing the translation. In short, it doesn't have any of the pesky theological, literary, linguistic, scientific, historical and archaeological issues that subsequent discoveries presented to later translators. So it does just what fundies want.

old comment by Philbert McAdamia

This reminds me of a TV show I saw in the '50s; old western town, trying for years to get a trestle built so they could get the train to come to their part of the country.
One family has a retard son, Arnold, who has a likeness for fires. No sooner does the trestle get put up, everybody is rejoicing and somehow it catches fire and burns to the ground. Nobody can figure out how it happened. Mom says Arnie is a good boy.
Then here comes David, I mean Arnold, skipping through town sing-songing "Burn the bridge down, burn the bridge down, huh huh huh huh huhhhhh..."

Book burners. Much as I'd like to see bibles eradicated from the face of the earth, I refuse to make a Godwin.

Oops.

old comment by checkmate

@Swede

Why do fundies love the "Qeeen James" Bible so much?

I have a different explanation than the above responses. I believe many people cling to the KJV because it allows them to separate their religion from their real life. Like some Catholics who cling on to Latin.

The antiquated language of the KJV lets them leave their real life at the church door and enter a separate fantasy land of religion. When they leave the church (or Bible class or whatever) they can switch back to everyday life without having to have their religion involved in it. They don't want to hear Biblical verses in the same language they speak every day. It brings religion too close to them and their reality and makes them feel very uncomfortable. They want to keep it at a distance.

They want "verily, verily, I say unto thee" and not "yup, now listen up y'all". It's their Yellow Brick Road to hypocrisy. That way they can lead double lives as judgemental Christians and asshole sinners without feeling any guilt or ever even noticing it.

old comment by checkmate

@Sangfroid

The only absolutely trustworthy bible is St. Jerome's Latin vulgate Bible!

The Vulgate is really an excellent translation. Jerome (and his staff) took very special care, especially where the originals become vague, descriptive, and potentially ambiguous. His Latin does a wonderful job of conveying the intended meaning and making the original language understandable.

Besides that, the Latin is relatively simple and pleasant to read.

In fact, both the Koine Greek of the New Testament and most of the Hebrew of the Old Testament are pretty easy reading. Anybody who's really serious about their religion can learn enough to read the originals within a few shorts years of language courses.

The Proverbs and the poetic parts of the OT can get difficult though and Hiob is off the deep end because of all the Aramaic dialect it uses.

old comment by Anon-e-moose

@Justanotheratheist, The Crimson Ghost

...or an infinitely more practical purpose:

Several years ago, a Baptist church near me closed due to lack of interest. (it's a pub nowadays; again, a more practical purpose). The rubbish skip outside such, along with pews etc, had several Bibles - KJVs - in it. I decided to 'recycle' these, and took them home.

They reside in a cupboard under the sink. In my bathroom. Next to the toilet.

You do the maths, Davey-boy.

Hey, it's not my fault, if those who made said KJVs used a grade of paper that's sooooooo absorbent; and when one realises that you've run out of bog roll, then needs must when the Devil...! >:D

Frankly the skidmarks left on the pages torn out of said KJVs - prior to my flushing such down the bog - represent something infinitely superior to the waste of ink originally on the fucking pages in the first place. Still, my arsehole feels the benefit when there's no paper rolls left, and that's what really matters, eh fundies...?!

David J. Stewart #fundie jesus-is-savior.com

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