" When you are ready to date, and you choose the right date -- a person you could marry -- you need to ensure that you eliminate all possibilities of temptation. [...] this also means that there should be no physical contact between a dating couple. More than this, the couple should never be alone together. Solitude is a breeding ground for sin. Satan tricks us into believing that no one will ever know about the sin, so we indulge it. Of course, God knows"
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I've never had sex with a virgin in my life, and I don't plan on starting with my hypothetical future wife.
I figure any woman in my age bracket who's still a virgin is either a fundie or has something equally disturbing wrong with her, and way, no thanks.
Sounds like god is a fucking pervert. Maybe he could devote some time to, oh I don't know, pick any ole current, long-going war and/or genocide out of a hat. Fixing at least one of them would do a helluva lot more good then watching virgins clumsily grope each other in a parked car. But what do I know? Oh yeah, more than god apparantly. I can recognize what he considers an "evil", unfortunately I'm a mere mortal without magic powers. Oh Superman, we need you more than ever!
Yet another commandment from the true lord and savior, Brother Randy.
Some one please kill this man. Please.
Ah, but you see, you're all missing the important loop hole. Only couples who are *dating* cannot touch. So, it's perfectly ok for Randy to molest little girls =P
i was wondering if i was gonna have to submit a section of this, guess not...
and Bro. Randy, die in a fire, now.
we should then asume two erroneous assertions:
Solitude means being alone.
"More than this, the couple should never be alone together."
Protip: Make sure the third person isn't somebody you'd have a ménage à trois with.
Apparently, the fundies' God is just sitting there waiting for some teenage slut to tempt a boy to grab a few feels so He can chalk her up in His "Going to Hell" book. Forget worrying about wars, famine, genocide, earthquakes and all that crap His son said about "love your neighbor as yourself" - that kind of syrupy nonsense is for those latte-sipping, Volvo-driving, fag-loving Northeast liberals. He never authorized His son to talk about that "love" stuff. Love and a quarter won't even buy you a paper, especially if it involves loving a homo or a Catholic.
No. According to the Bro's kindergarten-level religious beliefs, God is a retard like him, who decides who gets into heaven according to a simple checklist.
Check all that apply:
? I am not an Independent Baptist
Check any question, and you're bound for the Lake o' Fire®.
People who know more about relationships and sex than Bro. Randy:
-Dan Savage
I mean, this guy's below Dr. Laura. That's saying a lot.
God knows. And he tells me anyway, so why don't you, ahem, share your stories of lascivious sin with yours truly? *Pant, pant*
So Randy, what do you think of Ruth (the ancestor of Jesus according to some) seducing Boaz on the threshing room floor, before they were married?
You have read the story of Ruth haven't you? I mean, its in the bible you supposedly revere. Or did you skip that one because its a story about a girl?
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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