I love Jesus Christ! Hallelujah! #fundie

I love Jesus Christ! Hallelujah! #fundie answers.yahoo.com

[The Bible] doesn't contradict itself. You need to have full understanding of the Bible to understand it. The Bible is inerrant, any Christian would say that because we/they have understanding of the Bible. And we are telling you to read the Bible so YOU and others can have understanding of it! And because we care for you! We don't want you to suffer in hell for eternity!

62 comments

old comment by MK

"The Israelites did not have precise entomological categories and did not have a word for 'insect.' The Hebrew text simply says 'creeping things that go on four legs.'"

Yes, but the full set of verses goes on to list such things that are "creeping things that go on four legs" and includes locusts (ie, grasshoppers) in that list.

I agree that it's a mistake to read this to mean that the Hebrews couldn't count, they either a) didn't count all the legs as legs, or b) just didn't check to make sure the list was consistent with the preceding description of "things on four legs".

But either way, it certainly is an indication that this, like the rest of the Bible, is NOT written/dictated by God, but by men.

old comment by Horsefeathers

"[The Bible] doesn't contradict itself."

Bullshit. It contradicts itself numerous times.

"You need to have full understanding of the Bible to understand it."

A full understanding of it is what makes the contradictions glaringly obvious, which would explain why those who claim to be the most religious are the least likely to see the contradictions. In my experience they're the ones least likely to have actually read the damned book they worship.

"The Bible is inerrant, any Christian would say that because we/they have understanding of the Bible."

Odd then that only a small portion of the 30,000+ sects of Christianity make this claim.

"And we are telling you to read the Bible so YOU and others can have understanding of it! And because we care for you! We don't want you to suffer in hell for eternity!"

Show evidence this Hell of yours exists and I'll consider reading your religious propaganda.

old comment by pete

No sane reader of the Buy-bull could possibly miss the contradictions. Our author either never read the POS or, is insane, blind, or suffered from botched brain surgery.

The contradictions are not just apparent to the fstdt community. That's why it was suppressed for 1500 years. It just doesn't stand up to any level of scrutiny.

Many theologians spend their entire lives in vain attempts to reconcile the contradictions apparent to any non-fundy of normal, or above, intelligence. Most preachers spend their lives arguing, with other preachers among others, about how they personally interpret all the vague, nonsensical, shit. That's how all those new sects are born.

Face it. The Buy-bull is probably the single worst piece of literature ever written. And that's before one begins to question the morality of the damn thing.

old comment by John

You need to have full understanding of the Bible to understand it.

No, understanding just makes it worse. You need to invent stuff out of thin air that isn't in the Bible to explain away the contradictions. Like for example, where it says Judas hanged himself, and later it says he fell headlong and his bowels gushed out. All you have to do is invent a scene where he hanged himself and the rope broke and he fell headlong. Or alternatively, you simply invent some nonsense about how in olden times "hanged" meant "falling on a sword" (at which point your bowels would gush out).

Or like when the Bible gives a list of the 12 disciples. No one's list names Nathaniel except John's. So all you have to do is invent a story that Nathaniel was Bartholomew's other name (and apparently John was the only one who used it).

See? Understanding the Bible doesn't help at all. You just need to be a really good bullshitter.

old comment by John_in_Oz

Thanks for your concern. Before making a total nuisance of yourself trying to save me from imaginary dangers, please establish that you're not irrational and deluded.
The four Gospels are so mutually contradictory that no apologist in 2,000 years has been able to unite them into a single coherent account.
If you actually read the Bible you're bashing, you'll find a LOT of stuff you don't believe in. For example, there are evil spirits in heaven, Adam and Eve weren't the first humans, there are many Gods of which the God of the Jews is just one. (That's why He's jealous of other Gods, you know, first of the 10 commandments?)
If you read the bilble literally, you discover the sky is solid like a pot lid ('firmament') In the Bible, Heaven literally means Sky. 'Angel' was a word for messenger. Sure in an era without eyeglasses, stars look a bit like winged people and shooting stars could be seen as rushing across the sky on God's bidding, but really, it's long past time you grew up.
Heaven is a 'gigantic' place one fiftieth the volume of the moon.
Self delusion may be a pleasant form of mental masturbation for you, but when you try to impose your delusions on others, they have the right to object no matter how good you tell yourself your motives are.

old comment by curious

You say the bible has no errors... but of course that would mean it is the word of God.. because only his words directly can be 'absolutely' true...

But if we were to translate something, or even communicate the idea from absolute understandings...it would change meanings due to our own persoanl understanding from experiences, teachings, perceptions ...so no human can explain the meaning and prupose without losing the absloute truth of the religion...

can you agree to this?... if not... then that is why certain people can be indocterinated more easily...because this is fact about absolute truths... but.... please continue

Can you explain how you can accept a translation of the bible from aramiac or whatever the original texts were, from a humans perception into the current language?

... the language that is spoken to communicate the ideas and phrases of God are the original language and any translation would obscure its meaning due to any humans being the middle man... do not confuse that with a prohpet...staying within the religoius context... because he speaks to god/angels. so its thier words. angels from god...

I would like to know how a human can translate absolute truths...are they self appointed prohets..and God/angels has spoken to them the translation...or is it them simply giving thier best effort to translate as best as they could...

old comment by Swede

Sorry, I tend to take anything I read at face value. If it doesn't make sense, if it contradict itself I view it as poor fiction.

I have tried to read the Bible (and the Quran) but I get sleepy after a while; it's so repetitive and boring, all those burnt offerings and begats... How do you stay awake when nothing new is happening for hundreds of pages? Nah, give me the Lord of the Rings (in English, of course), any day. That was a piece of cake (and a pleasure), compared to the Bible. If only I knew where it was, I'd read it again right now, but we're building a library in our new house, and haven't unpacked all the 70-odd book boxes yet, sadly...

old comment by

Thank you for doing so much to conform that the bible is inerrant. I have learned a great deal, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific statements made in the bible and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is inerrant, eternal and unchanging.

I love Jesus Christ! Hallelujah! #fundie answers.yahoo.com

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