Last summer I was sitting on a park bench next to a twenty something frump who was trying to seduce me into chatting her up. I had no interest, and when the frump finally realised this she decided to loudly eject gas from her rectum, whilst giving me a smug satisfied look. The stench from her fart was clearly designed to kill my libido for any woman, a kind of ‘if I can’t have you, I won’t let any other bitch have you’ spiteful vengeful act.
20 comments
Translation:
I was sitting on a park bench perving at some random woman. She noticed, and tried to drive me away by farting loudly. This instantly made her a 'frump' who committed a spiteful, vengeful act by shamelessly NOT allowing me to perve on her in peace.
What I wanted to say, The Reptilian Jew has already said better! :)
(Is that an OS/2 desktop by the way?)
You sat next to a genuine superhero ?
I mean, the ability to tailor ones flatus to produce a specific response in your target audience may well be one that Stan Lee hasn't managed to document yet but you've gotta admit, it's still a superpower.
You know what you like the most, thea? Cake Farts!
...and yours truly - despite the likes of Meatspin, Tubgirl, Goatse & Lemonparty out there - had never heard of this prior to yesterday, when it was mentioned in a YT video by Big Clive (the Scottish chap who disassembles electronic devices) during his taking apart of a lithium polymer battery from a mobile phone.
But if you like references, there's one for you, thea: that experience is just a taster of the next four years with Donald Fart .
A Frump Trump .
While the rest of us watch the Dumbya-esque fuckup you've brought upon yourselves, enjoy your Delicious Cake. >:D
@Philbert McAdamia
I'd go with LadyPuff
Inoffensive female librarian enters elevator followed by gang of ruffians. Door closes.
Door opens. LadyPuff exits followed by group of choirboys.
It could work, we just need a mechanism to get the bad guys into an enclosed space each week.
Let's see if I can describe what really happened reading between the lines. You were desperately and creepily trying to get a woman to notice you. Said woman finally let out a fart and was happy to have the bench to herself again.
@rubber chicken
“Last summer I was sitting on a park bench next to a twenty something frump who was trying to seduce me into chatting her up.”
“I had no interest, and when the frump finally realised this she decided to loudly eject gas from her rectum,”
“whilst giving me a smug satisfied look.”
“The stench from her fart was clearly designed to kill my libido for any woman,”
“ a kind of ‘if I can’t have you, I won’t let any other bitch have you’ spiteful vengeful act.”
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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