I'm always wondering if the Lord will come for us at a moment where I'm NOT decent, ie, in the shower, just out of the shower and in the process of changing, or, the WORST, IMHO, on the latrine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously; I think about that often and pray I'm not in any of those places
38 comments
You should never go potty again.
Angel: XMaryX, the time has come for you to---OH GOSH, sorry, sorry, m'lady and good husband, you may continue your merry married act, Rapturing can come later!
Husband: Who was that, honey?
XMaryX: ;.; why me?
Of course these people would hold it in as long as possible and go without bathing and changing their clothes so they won't be indecent when Jesus calls for them. These are the sorts of things the Rapture idiots worry about. They pray to their god, "Oh Lord, please don't let me be embarrassed when I ascend to heaven, amen!" They only focus on the really important things, alright.
"at a moment where I'm NOT decent, ie, in the shower"
Yeah. Schlicking yourself into oblivion at the thought of that scene in "Left Behind" (the Remake) whilst in said shower eh XXXMary, you dirty girl?!
You Raptards touch yourselves at night at the thought of your J-boy blowing his horn, going down & sucking you off.
In Soviet Ruptured Retards, his place is in you.
@Snide
"If you do go potty"
Ruptured Retards going 'potty'? If. [/Spartan Laconic Wit]
Yeah, because of all the things people need to worry about, THIS is the most important. And this is because the omnipotent, omniscient god of yours that created everything is too stupid to figure out how to get you to heaven while you're on the crapper?
" on the latrine"
Last time I searched pictures of the rapture I noted that the ladies being whooshed up all were slim with large cans.
I'm always wondering if the Lord will come for us at a moment where I'm NOT decent, ie, in the shower, just out of the shower and in the process of changing
Well, then you'd better hope you don't get off on being seen, not even a little. If God sees even a drop of dew on your you-know-what he'll cast you straight into hell for having impure thoughts. Worst of all, if anyone else sees you they might go to hell, too. Oh, and I'd tell you to try not thinking about it but have you ever tried that? Your best bet is to never shower and never change your clothes. Sure, us evil, sinful secular people might stay 300 ft. away from you at all times but why do you care about our depraved opinion anyway?
One of the replies
"Meeting past historical figures like Adam, Abraham, James Madison and Washington and ronald reagan
Yeah. Because the first two were definitely christians.
"Doesn't God already watch you when you are going to the bathroom anyway?"
This brings up some questions:
-If god perfectly designed us "in his image" does he then need to take a piss/crap too? If not, we really aren't "in his image", then, are we?
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow, five exclamation marks are already a sign of an insane mind, that one actually is scary.
the WORST, IMHO, on the latrine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And now imagine yourself being swept up in the sky while having explosive diarrhea
The words “short shower of shit” come to mind.
@#1737357:
-If god perfectly designed us "in his image" does he then need to take a piss/crap too? If not, we really aren't "in his image", then, are we?
The answer is either “originalsindidit” or “flooddidit”. Take your pick. ;-)
Best not go to the latrine, then, just in case. Anyway, that shouldn't be much of a discomfort because as you know he is coming soooooooooooooooooooooon. Very soooooooooooooon.
Fucking moron.
*facepalm*HE SEES ALL.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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