Years ago my old paster told me of something that happened where he used to(and now lives again) live in England.
There was a UFO cult that met in the area. Strange lights and sightings were common in the region and that was what attracted the UFO people. The leader of the group stayed in their HQ one night for whatever reason.
Some time after he was totally alone, he saw a bright light outside. Curious, he went outside to investigate. As soon as he was outside the light got much brighter. He was thinking "This is it..I'm going to be abducted.."
Instead of being beamed up into a flying saucer however, a winged being of light(an angel) flew down, then immediately told him this: "UFOs are of demonic influence, satan knows his time is short, you are in grave danger...Jesus is returning soon". Then left.
The man immediately ran to the nearest church he could find and gave his life to Christ.
56 comments
Oh dear! I'm sorry to tell you that adding UFOs and aliens to the mix doesn't alter the known definition of 'er...soon'. It still means never.
Also, it doesn't improve the standing of either you or your cause by resorting to blatant lies and gullibility.
So the angel told him all that. Couldn't just put the ghod whammy on him? Or trust that anyone seeing a real, honest to ghod angel is going to become a believer?
I mean, in these stories, the bullshit artist always over plays his hand.
This is in fact a repeat, but not one made by FSTDT, but by SwordofGeddo himself.
Compare it with the first quote . It is worded slightly different and the RR-links go to different topics.
But I like his closing sentence in the first one better:
Soon is much closer now..
Yeah, yeah, sure it is.
Why does this stuff always seem to happen when the person is alone? I mean, given that these angels want to save people, why didn't it show up in front of this entire UFO cult instead of just this one guy? And why do none of these morons ever question this stuff?
Because if I was an omnipotent deity I'd spread my message by visiting some random UFO cult instead of, oh I don't know, CNN or Fox News (if Jesus is indeed a conservative). Because apparently not only does God work in mysterious ways, he also work in extremely convoluted and inefficient ways.
Sounds like a scene in the first left behind movie where the Kirk Cameron character, a bad actor,,no sorry,,a badly portrayed pilot encounters a Saint all aglow (of course)wandering around during the Rapture.
Or like 100s of their other "stories of faith, fanfiction mondays".
Well Sword, in a previous post I called you an asshole, and I may have been incorrect in that assumption. You are a loon. Maybe still an asshole, but mostly a loon.
So good luck with all of that.
He also drilled an iol well into hell and when he heard the screams of the damned being tortured in the lake of fire he immediately ran to the nearest church he could find and gave his life to Christ.
Unfortunately it was a Catholic church and Catholics aren't christians so he's still going to hell as soon as Jesus returns soon.
Your old "paster"?
I'm sure UFO cults make sure to not be alone, as no-one believes in one person, but if five people say the same thing, it's a bit more plausible.
As a matter of fact, that "angel" WAS a UFO, until it presented itself, that is. UFO, after all is just an unidentified flying object.
Jesus said 2000 years ago that he would be returning "soon". Let's just say, we won't hold our breath...
A similar thing happened to me. Instead of being beamed up into a flying saucer, a winged being of light(an angel) flew down, then immediately told me I was getting a concourse-restored 1969 Mach 1 Mustang 428. But then I woke up and still had my crappy old Taurus.
Yeah, a pastor who knew somebody, who knew somebody's next door neighbor's sister's brother-in-law's second cousin's twice removed older step-sister's college roommate's friend that they met once in a bar, that guy? Oh yeah, I know exactly who you're talking about...
And of course the pastor wouldn't lie...
'Heaven's Gate' were a UFO cult:
image
So what's stopping you from following their example, eh Ruptured Retards? You lot hate 'this world you are in , but not part of'; 'Suicide is a Sin' is purely Catholic doctrine after all. As in Popery . [/Ian Paisley]
Every second you're not following the 'Heavcen's Gate'-rs' example, you prove yourselves to be the world-loving , more-than Atheist, hyper-hypocrites you really are; you do love this world, and want to live in it as long as possible. Re. that (C)Rapture, and your Lord 'tarrying', now take a look at the pic above.
And for a 'UFO cult ', 'Heaven's Gate' weren't particularly religious. What's your excuse, o RR?
Years ago my old alien told me of something that happened where he used to(and now lives again) live in England.
There was a angel cult that met in the area. Strange lights and sightings were common in the region and that was what attracted the angel people. The leader of the group stayed in their HQ one night for whatever reason.
Some time after he was totally alone, he saw a bright light outside. Curious, he went outside to investigate. As soon as he was outside the light got much brighter. He was thinking "This is it..I'm going to heaven.."
Instead of his soul floating away however, a gray(an alien) flew down, then immediately told him this: "Angels are of demonic influence, god knows his time is short, you are in grave danger...he is returning soon". Then left.
The man immediately ran to the nearest UFO crash site he could find and gave his life to Ta'kel.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.
