Hey, brother! Both being Celibate and being married are gifts from God. I know it's not easy as a young man to abstain from sexual activity. It becomes harder when all of your friends and associates are having sex outside of marriage.
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The biggest irony is that he posted under the name 'Austin Powers', who gave us such quotes as, "Do I make you horny? Randy? Do I make you horny, baby, yeah, do I? "...
"Hey, brother!"Do not for a moment presume that I am you "brother."
"Both being Celibate and being married are gifts from God."
No, being married is a social/civic institution and celibacy among adults is useless, self-imposed punishment.
"I know it's not easy as a young man to abstain from sexual activity. It becomes harder when all of your friends and associates are having sex outside of marriage."
This is often true. So what?
"DARE TO BE DIFFERENT."
I AM different. I am more different from you than I suspect you can imagine. I do not choose to be different by repressing my sexuality.
"Things don't get any easier, but our God is strong."
A strong hallucination, maybe. Other than that, your "God" has not shown himself to BE, much less to be strong.
"Every time you feel tempted even just to look at a girl in a derogitary way, start reciting Scripture out loud!!"
I don't feel that appreciating the physical characteristics of another is derogitory at all. As long as one doesn't make the subject of your gaze feel uncomfortable, all's fair.
On the other hand, some Bible-belted bumpkin ranting scripture verses is truly annoying.
"There is nothing that scares the devil more than a Spirit-filled Believer reciting God's Word."
You're deathly afraid of Satan and his god-like powers over humanity, yet Satan is easily turned away by spewing Bible verses. What are you people so afraid of? Apparently you've got Satan's number, so to speak. Why haven't you conquered the world?
Young man, are you listening to me? I said, young man, what do you want to be? I said, young man, you can make real your dreams. But you've got to know this one thing! No man does it all by himself. I said, young man, put your pride on the shelf, And just go there, to the y.m.c.a. I'm sure they can help you today.
A story: A man walks into his dorm to find his friend having sex with his girlfriend on the couch
I have to agree with Star Cluster and Tempus, this Austin Powers is not likely to get laid any time soon.
Sorry, but looking at the opposite sex as derogatory, it's demonstrated by how it worked in the middle ages, only makes things worse.
But, for those who haven't read the post is even funnier. He talks about a witch!!, and seems not to be Samantha, for that matter.
@Hadanelith
Scripture is definately NOT sexy.
"Every time you feel tempted even just to look at a girl in a derogitary way, start reciting Scripture out loud!! There is nothing that scares the devil more than a Spirit-filled Believer reciting God's Word."
It also scares away the girls.
You know what would be a blessing? Being woken up by Jelena Jensen smacking me in the face with her tits.
My senior prom date and I had the limo to ourselves. I told her I didn't want to mess around. Damn her, she respected that. I'd love to go back in time and slap myself silly.
Celibate and married?
There may be a Jewish American Princess joke in here, but I suffer from Goyishe Kop, so I'm just not sure how it would go.
Which bible scripture would be appropriate to start spouting off whenever one gets The Urge? Song of Solomon?
"Hi, what's your sign? While the king sitteth at his table, my spikenard sendeth forth the smell thereof. So, do you come here often? I have compared thee to a stable of horses."
"It becomes harder when all of your friends and associates are having sex outside of marriage."
The name Finbarr Saunders springs to mind right now.
"Things don't get any easier, but our God is strong. Every time you feel tempted even just to look at a girl in a derogitary way, start reciting Scripture out loud!! There is nothing that scares the devil more than a Spirit-filled Believer reciting God's Word"
And this from someone calling himself 'Austin Powers'? Oh, the irony. Oh, the hypocrisy. Oh, Behave! You need a shag to recharge your mojo, baby! And to reduce the swelling on your grunions before they migrate towards the nadgers and cause the knees to ossify - the main cause of Blue Balls Syndrome.
Remember: a good shag clears the custard, loosens the braces and stiffens the socks [/Spike Milligan]
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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