On our wedding night, I confessed to my husband that I wasn't a virgin. He was furious and wouldn't speak to me for our entire honeymoon! But I understand his anger, I had given away my most precious treasure, treasure that should have been his that night.
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Actually, he was upset that you had boy germs that weren't his.
I had given away my most precious treasure, treasure that should have been his that night.
Man or woman, if your most precious treasure is between your legs, you're not much of a person. You might look at what's atop your shoulders.
"On our wedding night, I confessed to my husband that I wasn't a virgin."Pretty poor timing. Since you felt it was important, you should have "confessed" that fact well before the wedding, if for no other reason than to find out if your boyfriend was an asshat.
"He was furious and wouldn't speak to me for our entire honeymoon!"
Aha! He was an asshat.
"But I understand his anger, I had given away my most precious treasure, treasure that should have been his that night."
Oh, you're an asshat, too. That's sad.
If the best thing you were bringing to your marriage was your virginity, you must be a woman of remarkably shallow character.
"On our wedding night, I confessed to my husband that I wasn't a virgin." "These people are abominations in the eyes of the Lord; they could change their ways but choose not to."
At that point, your husband should have confessed to you that he's a former homosexual--one of the few who decided to "change his ways." Tit for tat!
You know, a dawb of superglue and no one would've been the wiser.
Hell, during the birds and the bees speech from my mom, she told me not to wait till marriage to have sex with your partner.
Well, unless the guy fears the comparison, of course...
I would be mad too if my wife told me on the wedding night she had lied to me or pretended to be something she isn't to get me to marry her. Personally I wouldn't marry a virgin (I know a method of getting rid of it :-P), but if I found out my wife knowingly hid things from me to trick me into marrying her, I would quite possibly divorce her. She clearly wouldn't be trustworthy and I don't want to be married to a person, who isn't. If she told me the thing before we get married, I think I probably would marry her in any case, whatever it is. I cannot think of many confessions, which would stop me from marrying the woman I love and who loves me back. I guess I would have to think about it, if she told me she was a chronic nymphomaniac, who has sex with every guy she sees, or a serial killer, but... :-)
but the real truth some of you seem to be hiding from is the pure fact that saving yourself(man or woman)for marriage is a sure fire gurantee of no little secrets like oh,say, STD's,or something like that.you were a lying little twit to your husband,and there is nothing wrong with any man wanting to marry a virgin...its just a shame that most of us couldnt be one on our wedding night if we wanted to,but rather than admit we are disappointed in ourselves for scratching the itch with a nobody,we would rather be gung -ho and hide our shame by making stupid callous comments about the whole deal like its no big issue.
Thank you, Nameless Commenter, for your insight. You're completely missing the point, but thank you.do believe in abstinence until marriage would agree that lying to your husband like that makes you an asshat.
but the real truth some of you seem to be hiding from is the pure fact that saving yourself(man or woman)for marriage is a sure fire gurantee of no little secrets like oh,say, STD's,or something like that.you were a lying little twit to your husband,and there is nothing wrong with any man wanting to marry a virgin...its just a shame that most of us couldnt be one on our wedding night if we wanted to,but rather than admit we are disappointed in ourselves for scratching the itch with a nobody,we would rather be gung -ho and hide our shame by making stupid callous comments about the whole deal like its no big issue.
No, you didn't. What you did that pissed him off, most likely, was not even tell him the barest details of your sexual history before he married you .
Isn't this the same one who wants to burn gays at the stake?Deuteronomy 22:
13 If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her,
14 And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid: ... 20 But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: 21 Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.
Leviticus 20:
13 "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them."
Sounds like God hates women who deceive their husbands about their virginity a lot more than he does gays. They don't just put her to death; they stone her to death on her father's doorstep. If SweetAngeline weren't a fundie fuckwit, you'd think this would shut her up on the subject, but I doubt it will.
Awwww, did the poor widdle homophobic, misogynistic, slut have a bad honeymoon? GOOD. Yeah, it was Ad Hominum, and just plain nasty, but it feels so good.-Nekhbet
Yes, and once you'd given it to him, you'd have been worthless. You'd still be in this situation, only a bit later. So what's to be sorry about?your value does not reside solely in your vagina!
but the real truth some of you seem to be hiding from is the pure fact that saving yourself(man or woman)for marriage is a sure fire gurantee of no little secrets like oh,say, STD's,or something like that and treatments or even cures! Just think about it, we could actually cure such a thing well before anyone would have any trouble with it.
And what other "secrets" would the girl hide? That's she's actually a hermaphrodite? I'd like to know such things before I get married. This also counts for people who had a sex change. I'd love to know if I'm marrying a "real" woman or staying single (Nothing against them, but it's not for me). If you know of any other secrets she might have, I can't see how they can be all that important if they can be kept by not having sex.
You are all right. The taboo of virginity was just a rule(the only one at the time)to "protect" in a way the rights of the men and their desendants in a time when DNA tests were not available. I find ridiculous to which extremes that stupid tissue has been overrated, forgetting the original meaning and becoming useless itself.
This also counts for people who had a sex change. I'd love to know if I'm marrying a "real" woman or staying single (Nothing against them, but it's not for me).
@Angeline
On our wedding night, I confessed to my husband that I wasn't a virgin. He was furious and wouldn't speak to me for our entire honeymoon!
What's the romance involved with being able to rupture a woman's hymen?
Really don't get the virgin fetish Christians have got going on.
I'm with the husband on this.
For sure I agree the virginity thing is stupid, but given that THEY believe it's important, she lied by ommission about something really, really important. And then told him on their wedding night! When it was too late for him to do anything about it. What an absolute manipulative sly nasty no-integrity immoral bitch.
Lying to the one you are supposed to spend the rest of your life together with, that is not the best starting point, is it honey?
On the whole "virgin on the wedding day" issue: that day and night is stressful enough, without the "fumbling for the very first time" being a part of it.
And I agree with the question "was HE a virgin?". What about HIS greatest treasure?
well,I have to admit that virginity IS kinda hot. Me,I wish I'd lost my virginity to a virgin guy I would've married later. Virgins are so innocent<3 but I guess that's personal preference. I mean,if the person you love isn't a virgin,it shouldn't be a big deal.
Why didn't angeline tell the guy she slept with other people? cunt. And her hubby,why is he such a jerk? I have a feeling he'd be unfaithful to her later :/
Funny, in another comment she states homosexuals (and witches) should all be burned to death because that's what the bible says, but lookie here:
But if this charge is true (that she wasn't a virgin on her wedding night), and evidence of the girls virginity is not found, they shall bring the girl to the entrance of her fathers house and there her townsman shall stone her to death, because she committed a crime against Israel by her unchasteness in her father's house. Thus shall you purge the evil from your midst. (Deuteronomy 22:20-21 NAB)
Burn her! Burn this heretic!
Find someone who respects you, STAT, and ditch that poor excuse for a human being.
Then get an extra large bottle of brain bleach and rid your mind of this religious fuckwitty double standard.
And yet, I bet it's perfectly acceptable for him NOT to be a virgin on his wedding night.
Double Standards are fun!
You could have refrained from telling him that on that particular night. It's like waiting until Christmas day to tell a child that it will get no present this year, as mum and dad can't afford them. If the kid knew that in early November, it would not be such a big deal. Same with the husband, hopefully.
@ 136919its just a shame that most of us couldnt be one on our wedding night if we wanted to,but rather than admit we are disappointed in ourselves for scratching the itch with a nobody,we would rather be gung -ho and hide our shame by making stupid callous comments about the whole deal like its no big issue.
Well, if you lied to him and told him you were a virgin, I understand his anger at the lie.
But if he's just angry because he isn't the first to have you, dump him.
Well, this looks like a textbook example of a conservative "family values" marriage.
I made the observation that liberals are often in good marriages of equal partners, who 100% trust each other, and completely accept their partner for what he/she is ('virginity', for example is totally unimportant)
Conservative marriages, on the other hand, are mostly obsessed with keeping up a facade to the outside. But on the inside, conservative families are very often full of distrust, emotional blackmail, guilt, intrigues and other "hell on earth". As we see here: This marriage started their personal hell on earth already in their first night.
If you don't have anything to offer beyond your virginity, then your marriage is the least of your problems.
Of course, the fact that this is only ever considered a problem for the women in fundie marriages is a whole 'nother kettle of fish...
relax, he is NOT a true christian.
A true christian is required (or allowed) to drag you to the town square and stone you to death for not being a virgin.
He would not speak but did you two hump ?
On one hand, I do suppose OP's husband was enraged at the fact that OP lied to him.
On the other, he does come across as a jerk if OP's understanding is correct (virgin fetishisation on his part, and in a non-sexual sense at that).
Considering the amount of focus put on female virginity and 'deflowering' and such fuckshit along those lines, not to mention the other side of the coin that is slut-shaming, I'm unsurprised that such crap comes up at all. Even the conventional notion of the bride is rampant with virginal motifs, but I digress.
There will be a part of me wondering if the husband is a virgin himself, and whether that is in itself a bad thing.
“On our wedding night, I confessed to my husband that I wasn't a virgin.”
"He was furious and wouldn't speak to me for our entire honeymoon!”
“But I understand his anger, I had given away my most precious treasure, treasure that should have been his that night.”
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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