waiting1 #fundie

waiting1 #fundie rr-bb.com

I pray everyone repents and gets saved, but

we know that isn't what will happen, and for those who don't

you may be acting all high and mighty now,

BUT OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST IS COMING BACK AND THIS

TIME HE WON'T BE LIKE THE PUSHOVER LAMB "HE SEEMED" TO BE

BUT WILL BE THE AWESOME LION KING OF KINGS WHO WILL SMASH ALL VESSELS WHO

DO EVIL TO POWDER!!!!!!!!!!!

148 comments

old comment by Pule Thamex

Hmmm! Sounds like you think that destruction and animal savagery are good, awesome even. Almost as good and as awesome as uppercase lettering and as mesmerizing and gleeful as is the indulgence in extravagant punctuation, perhaps.

However, I think you might be just a teeny bit mixed-up. You see, Jesus is the chappie that Christians follow and He isn't the slightest bit vengeful or violent. Far from it in fact. I think the chap you're actually thinking about is the fellow that the cultish deviants worship, the fellow who actually does enjoy destruction and animal savagery, the devil, or Satan as he's sometimes known.

If you can tear yourself away from your fantasies of destruction and animal savagery for a while, I do recommend that you consider converting to Christianity.

Anyway, let's hope you are waiting for the right one.

old comment by John

Fundie Fantasy #46:

Jesus is coming back, and boy, is he ready to open up a can of whup-ass on non-believers! First, his angels are going to blow a bunch of horns, then all the people who have done His will insulted and beat up homosexuals, bombed abortion clinics, pulled their kids out of public school so they wouldn’t be fooled into believing their grandmother was a monkey, agreed with Rush and Hannity, etc. will get sucked up into the sky, leaving behind everything, even their clothes(1). Then there'll be seven years of really bad stuff happening to the people Left Behind© - even worse than for breaking a mirror. Then Jesus will say "OK, enough of this crap" and take over. Then the world will go on for another 1,000 years. Then it’ll be Judgment Day! All the good fundies who were born after the first Rapture and missed it will get sucked up to heaven and all the liberals, Yankees(2), non-Christians(3), atheists, people who listen to NPR and watch CNN instead of Fox News, Volvo and Prius drivers, people who recycle, pansy-assed wine-tasters, opera fans, illegal aliens, guys who don’t like sports, women who wear pants, people who read the NIV Bible instead of the KJV and people who thought their grandmother was a monkey will get sent to the LOF(4). Then all the fundies who believed in the Rapture, didn’t let anyone baptize them before the Age of Accountability© and voted for McCain/Palin will get to say "I told you so" and laugh at all those people who didn’t listen to them and are now weeping and gnashing their teeth in agony.

(1) Since they’re no longer under God’s curse for eating the magic fruit, they won’t notice that they’re naked.
(2) Northerners, of course; not the baseball team (although Red Sox fans may disagree).
(3) Such as Catholics, Anglicans, Presbyterians, Methodists, Lutherans, etc.
(4) Lake o' Fire

old comment by HisProudFollower

Yes, I pray that everyone on this forum repents before it is too late. The consequences of rejecting Christ will be severe - and eternal. Our Lord does not tolerate mockery, but He will forgive and heal those who turn to him in faith with an honest heart. For those who reject salvation and choose to endure Gods' wrath, eternal hell is waiting. Just imagine waking up from death and realizing God was real all along - and you mocked His holy name. Imagine being cast down into the pits of hell, as the flames chew at your flesh and devour every part of your body, from the top of your head to the soles of your feet. The avenging angels that are put in charge of your punishment have total control over you and they can do anything they want to you and you can't ask God to help you, since you rejected him. They'll torture you in every way imaginable, destroying your mind, your body, and most of all your spirit. Imagine crying in agony, but the tears dry up in the heat before they even hit your eyes. Suddenly you realize that your whole life was wasted, and that now you've been cast as far from God as anything could ever be. You didn't want God in your life and now you've got your wish; you're in a place with no love, no goodness, and nothing holy at all. You've been left to burn like garbage in a landfill, and you realize that's just what you are now - a piece of refuse to be burned up forever. Your mind flashes to all the times you had the chance to come to faith in Christ, and you remember all the times you rejected Him and mocked Him in front of others. You remember how you refused to take your family to church and discouraged them from reading the Bible. ANd that's actually the greatest punishment in hell; not just being burned forever, but realizing that you're responsible for leading so many people you used to love to this horrifying place. Just imagine hearing your son or daughter screaming somewhere in the darkness and knowing that your influence led them to reject Christ and go to hell. You reach out in the flames and grab their charred hand, but they push you away and swear at you, blaming for everything that's happened to them.

But it doesn't have to be this way. God loves us so much that He sent his Son to pay the price for our sins. On the Cross, Jesus endured GOd's wrath FOR YOU so that YOU don't have to endure it. THen he rose again from the dead and gave us the blessing of eternal life. YOU can spend eternity in heaven with God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, your family and your loved ones. Please come to faith in Jesus Christ, repent of your sins and be baptized. If you have any questions about God's amazing gift of love in CHrist or would like to know more about Jesus, please post back with your questions or thoughts. I will not respond to mocking posts, though, as there's no point.

God bless you all, my friends, I will be praying for you.

Much love,
HisProudFollower

old comment by EvoPagan

HisProudFollower

Job 40:12
Look at every proud man and humble him, crush the wicked where they stand.

Psalms 37:11
But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy great peace

Psalms 119:21
You rebuke the arrogant, who are cursed and who stray from your commands.

Psalms 131:1
My heart is not proud, O LORD, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.

Psalms 138:6
Though the LORD is on high, he looks upon the lowly, but the proud he knows from afar.

Psalms 147:6
The LORD sustains the humble but casts the wicked to the ground.

Psalms 149:4
For the LORD takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with salvation.

Proverbs 3:34
He mocks proud mockers but gives grace to the humble.

Proverbs 8:13
To fear the LORD is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.

Proverbs 10:8
The wise in heart accept commands, but a chattering fool comes to ruin.

Proverbs 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

Proverbs 15:31;33
He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise.The fear of the LORD teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor.

Proverbs 16:18-19
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Better to be lowly in spirit and among the oppressed than to share plunder with the proud.

Proverbs 18:12
Before his downfall a man's heart is proud, but humility comes before honor.

Proverbs 21:4
Haughty eyes and a proud heart, the lamp of the wicked, are sin!

Proverbs 22:4
Humility and the fear of the LORD bring wealth and honor and life.

Proverbs 25:9
He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.

Proverbs 26:12
Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him..

Proverbs 27:2
Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else, and not your own lips.

Proverbs 29:23
A man's pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor.

Proverbs 30:32
If you have played the fool and exalted yourself, or if you have planned evil, clap your hand over your mouth!

Isaiah 5:21
Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own sight.

Isaiah 66:2
Has not my hand made all these things, and so they came into being?" declares the LORD. "This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word."

Micah 6:8
He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

Matthew 18:3-4
And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 23:12
For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

old comment by Anon-e-moose

@HisProudFollower

If you don't want what those on Ruptured Retards etc mocked, then they shouldn't be in-yer-face, pushy (with the way they think they must force their beliefs on others - which they have NO right to, with use of emotional blackmail via threats of 'Hellfire' for those who don't believe), judgemental (with the emphasis on MENTAL), right-wing, interfering, opinionated control freaks. If ALL fundies were meek, reserved, tolerant, left-wing and unopinionated people that Christians are supposed to be, there'd be no material left for FSTDT to comment on, the world would be an infinitely better place (with religion having no influence on people whatsoever - and it has NO right to), and we'd just get on with our lives.

... oh, and enjoy waiting for that 'Rapture', which'll never happen. Consider this:

image

And why we have these on our buses in the UK. You'll eventually realise and admit we Atheists are right.

One day.

old comment by ts

#966829
HisProudFollower
Booty, thank God, He DID do something to stop it! He sent His only begotten Son to die on the cross for our sins and rise again on the third day to give us assurance of eternal life! That's the good news, or gospel!

what I don't get is this: if God (assuming he exists in the biblical sense) decided to put a stop to the eternal suffering in hell, why didn't he just stop it altogether? Also, why did he make it necessary to believe in Jesus in order to get into Heaven? It seems more just to me to simply allow every good person in there (not good as in sinless, but good as generally a nice, caring individual) - otherwise god, supposedly all-loving, would sentence everyone to hell who has just been unfortunate enough to not grow up in a country shaped by christianity. doesn't seem all that merciful to me...
Also, why was it necessary for God to even send Jesus to earth? couldn't he have just changed the rules? He made them to begin with... I really don't understand this.

old comment by Anon-e-moose

@HisProudFollower

"probably because the UK has been secularized for many decades now and the Church of England has caved in under pressure from secular humanists"

And that's how it's going to stay. Thank goodness for that - as well as Richard Dawkins (pbuh). We'll never allow you right-wing fundy nutjobs to have a toe-hold in our clean, sacred, ATHEIST country. Because we in the UK have seen what religion has done to America: DESTROYED it. Our healthy British sense of irony, cynicism and ability to question the validity & justification of everything (not just politicians, but religion itself) prevents fundies even existing in Britain (in politics, even with the Conservative* Party, if an MP is openly speaking & acting in a fundy way, it's a sure-fire vote killer. If an MP goes around saying 'Jesus is coming! Look busy!', the party's Chief Whip will persuade him to think otherwise, in no uncertain terms). We've had abortion for decades (mostly free, via our National Health Service), and last year, Parliament voted to reject a ban on Stem Cell research. Homosexuality was legalised in 1967, and gay marriage is now commonplace here (no 'Prop. 8' here, thank goodness!). And that's because we're progressive, and above all - TOLERANT.

So y'see, we in the UK are free from fundy interference in all it's evil, poisonous forms. And that's TRUE freedom.

BTW, as waiting1 claims about your fictional 'Jesus' being the:

"KING OF KINGS WHO WILL SMASH ALL VESSELS"

I'd like to see him do his worst against an Imperial Super Star Destroyer in Star Wars, a Shadowship in Babylon 5, or even from Star Trek, a Borg cube, the Sovereign-class USS Enterprise, Nero's future Romulan ship in the newest film, or least of all from ST:Nemesis, a Romulan Valdore-class Warbird:

image

(ye gods, but the design of this ship when it first appeared - I was nearly 'nursing a semi', if you know what I mean!)

*- In the early 70s, we voted in as Prime Minister Edward Heath - a Conservative. He was single, and an avowed Atheist. The country didn't cease to exist as a result. So USA, how about it? A president who's unmarried and doesn't believe in a God? Why not try it sometime, America? It won't kill you.

old comment by Anon-e-moose

Now where has HisProudFollower gone? Pissed that you can't control us like you can fundies, eh?

"Miles, could you please not post profanity?"

You could always complain (read: moan, bitch, whine, 'BAWWWWWWW!' etc) to your admin. Oh yes, that's right - Buzzardnuts doesn't control FSTDT. And thank fuck for that. At least people here (like Miles) can say whatever they damn well like without fear of being censored/banned. But then, that's you fundies all over; as in RL, you're just interfering control freaks who think you have the right to tell others what to do - certainly gays, and women who want an abortion. They're none of YOUR concern, so keep your noses out of what isn't your business.

“AND THIS TIME HE WON'T BE LIKE THE PUSHOVER LAMB "HE SEEMED" TO BE”
Seems to be that the ONLY appeal for the average Xian is a revenge fantasy. My buddy will be right here and he’s goijng to beat up everyone who dissed me. SO THERE!

waiting1 #fundie rr-bb.com

148 comments

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