cm4jesus #fundie

cm4jesus #fundie rr-bb.com

Wow, what a great thread idea [if I were President]. Since I get to change anything I want, here are a few I'd start with.

1. Fire Congress
2. Apologize to Israel
3. Stop abortions
4. Bring God back into our schools and every other place they took him out of
5. Make our government about 1/4 the size it is now...its way too big now.
6. Create a law that says, if you pass it Congress, you get to reap the rewards right along with the rest of us, so think before you sign the thing into law.
7. Take better care of our military guys, show them the love and respect they deserve.
8. Bring back the Constitution and all it stands for
9. Make it NOT PC *politically correct* to say even one bad word about God...not sure I worded this one right but you guys get my meaning!
10. Last buy not least..if I was the president I'd be Obama I guess, so I'd fire myself and repent!

110 comments

old comment by John

The typical redneck combination of whining and ignorance:

He says ...

8. Bring back the Constitution and all it stands for

But then he says ...

1. Fire Congress - The Constitution specifies how Congress is elected. The President has no power over Congress except to veto.
3. Stop abortions - laws against abortion were ruled unconstitutional. So the only way to do this is to change the Constitution.
4. Bring God back into our schools and every other place they took him out of. Preaching religion in public schools is unconstitutional, so the only way to do this is to revoke the First Amendment.

He says...

5. Make our government about 1/4 the size it is now...its way too big now. and 7. Take better care of our military guys, show them the love and respect they deserve.

But over 1/2 of our budget - every penny of individual personal income tax we pay - is consumed by two things: the military and interest on the national debt. So how do we cut the government to 1/4 of its size and increase spending on the military, too? Default on the national debt?

old comment by Professor M

@ John --

Well, to be fair, it's quite possible to cut the overall military budget while still taking better care of members of the uniformed services. Cutting out a few gigantic wastes of money designed to funnel profits to defense contractors (not to mention dumping this imperialist shit we've been stuck on lately!) would pay for a hell of a lot of decent VA healthcare.

Somehow, I don't think that's what cm4jesus has in mind, though. (Why is it that whenever someone on the right talks about "supporting" U.S. troops, they mean getting those troops shot at and ordering them to commit war crimes? I certainly hope they never decide that I need their "support".)

old comment by GigaGuess

1. Fire Congress
Translation: Remove a check and balane to allow myself to run roughshod as a dictator.

2. Apologize to Israel
Because they're really just misunderstood, unlike those Palestine meanies.

3. Stop abortions
And watch the number of pregnancy related deaths skyrocket...not to mention botched home abortions.

4. Bring God back into our schools and every other place they took him out of
Fuck the constitution, I have presidency?

5. Make our government about 1/4 the size it is now...its way too big now.
Or just fire 'em all and instate the Church as the government instead?

Oh crap, I probably just gave him an idea...

6. Create a law that says, if you pass it Congress, you get to reap the rewards right along with the rest of us, so think before you sign the thing into law.
Uhm...they kinda do, don't they?

7. Take better care of our military guys, show them the love and respect they deserve.
I can agree with that, so long as funding doesn't eclipse the needs of the country.

8. Bring back the Constitution and all it stands for
That and a bottle of white out, it seems...

9. Make it NOT PC *politically correct* to say even one bad word about God...not sure I worded this one right but you guys get my meaning!
So you're so insecure about your religion that you have to make even speaking ill of it a crime. Wow.

10. Last buy not least..if I was the president I'd be Obama I guess, so I'd fire myself and repent!
*Sigh...*

old comment by Sisyphus

1) Congress was made in order to protect America from becoming a dictatorship (although Bush almost succeeded anyway)
2) Personally I'd apologise to the Palestinians. They're the ones whose land you forcibly took to create Israel.
3) How? You mean criminalize abortions thus endangering thousands of women's lives?
4) he shouldn't have been in schools in the first place.
5) Possibly a good idea but I have a shrewd idea I know what type of government services he'd be trimming
6) that's the first semi intelligent thing you've said
7) that's the second semi intelligent thing you've said (pulling them out of the middle east would be a good place to start)
8) that's the only truly intelligent thing you've said. But I have a sneaking suspicion you wouldn't know the constitution from a chain letter.
9) so you're a muslim are you?
10) That seals it. You're a bona fide idiot.

old comment by emau99

1. Fire Congress

The President does not have the power or authority to fire Congress. You would know this if you had bothered to read the US Constitution.

3. Stop abortions

In other words, you want to overturn Roe v. Wade. Again--the President doesn't have the power to veto supreme court decisions. See the Constitution if you don't believe me.

4. Bring God back into our schools and every other place they took him out of

God is not out of our schools. Students can pray whenever and however they choose, so long as they aren't disruptive. What you want to do is mandate prayer in schools--which is, of course, unconstitutional.

6. Create a law that says, if you pass it Congress, you get to reap the rewards right along with the rest of us, so think before you sign the thing into law.

You would find it very difficult to get Congress to pass said law. Especially considering that you just said you'd fired them all?

8. Bring back the Constitution and all it stands for

You mean like separation of powers, separation of church and state, freedom of religion, freedom of speech, and freedom of the press?

You fucking idiot.

Almost everything on your little list violates one or more of the core tenets of the US Constitution. Now you're venerating it? I don't think so.

9. Make it NOT PC *politically correct* to say even one bad word about God...not sure I worded this one right but you guys get my meaning!

In other words, you'd restrict freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and probably freedom of the press as well. Good luck "bringing back the Constitution".

Do you know what a theocracy is?

10. Last buy not least..if I was the president I'd be Obama I guess, so I'd fire myself and repent!

First of all, the word you're looking for is *resign*.

Secondly--fuck you. There is no religious test for office. It specifically says so in--you guessed it--the Constitution.

old comment by aaa

You would be the worst president ever. I would pay money to watch your eventual downfall.

All firing the congress would achieve would be making a ton of enemies, every one of them wanting to see you crash and burn. Your constant sucking up to Israel would only make you look like a fucking whore. And what is this i hear about downsizing the government 75 percent? Despite the hugs and kisses for the troops, the Joint Chiefs would hate you for cutting their budget and the Department of Justice would seriously consider assassinating you. And how are you going to enforce your laws while cutting the budgets? Are you going to make the agents work for the minimum wage or are you just going to hire mercenaries to do the dirty work for you?

Don't get me started on political correctness. It would only make atheism look cooler than ever. And how are you going to bring an omnipresent being to something? That would be like dividing by zero. Points 6, 8 and 10 are just hilariously bad.

old comment by SleepNeed

1. Fire Congress
Not allowed by the Constitution.

2. Apologize to Israel
What for?

3. Stop abortions
Not allowed as well by the Constitution.

4. Bring God back into our schools and every other place they took him out of
Not allowed at all by the Constitution.

5. Make our government about 1/4 the size it is now...its way too big now.
Would cause a lot more problems than it'd solve.

6. Create a law that says, if you pass it Congress, you get to reap the rewards right along with the rest of us, so think before you sign the thing into law.
A somewhat good idea I will admit.

7. Take better care of our military guys, show them the love and respect they deserve.
Good idea, let pull them out these senseless wars for a start. Though I do admit that I don't want their budget to be towering over all other spending. Also if you wanted to make the government 1/4 the size it is now, then you'd have to cut their budget. They won't be to happy with that.

8. Bring back the Constitution and all it stands for
Your 1st, 3rd, 4th and 9th points conflict with this point.

9. Make it NOT PC *politically correct* to say even one bad word about God...not sure I worded this one right but you guys get my meaning!
Not allowed by the Constitution.

10. Last buy not least..if I was the president I'd be Obama I guess, so I'd fire myself and repent!
What a terrible joke.

old comment by WWWWolf

(cont'd)

> 8. Bring back the Constitution and all it stands for

...which you probably haven't read, judging from all this mess.

> 9. Make it NOT PC *politically correct* to say even one bad word about God...not sure I worded this one right but you guys get my meaning!

Here's a thought: Politicians are always lagging behind what comes to legislating political correctness. This is because they're trying to uphold an obscure political clause that is included in most constitutions these days - something about a basic human right called "freedom of speech" or something like that.

Hence, political correctness is not defined by politicians - it's defined by the prevailing norms of the rest of the society.

old comment by WWWWolf

> 1. Fire Congress

My knowledge of American legislative process is a bit hazy, but aren't there laws against that?

I mean, around here, the President can't "fire" members of the Parliament and can only order a new election under certain circumstances. You know, because this is a democratic country where problems are allegedly solved by elected representatives instead of an almighty despot?

> 5. Make our government about 1/4 the size it is now...its way too big now.

This is what I don't get about American conservatives: they keep whining about "big government", but when they're asked what part of the government they think should be shut down, they get confused and spew out weird stuff like this.

From the point of view of a random European like me, it all seems much clearer: you people spend way too much money on military and way too little on basic services and supporting scientific pursuits.

See? I could do some actual decisions based on that opinion. I bloody hell hope you won't get elected if you arbitrarily decide that a hard-to-define 1/4 of the government is necessary. How would you explain that to your potential voters?

> 6. Create a law that says, if you pass it Congress, you get to reap the rewards right along with the rest of us, so think before you sign the thing into law.

That's not a law. That's a reminder. More than that, that's the basic definition of democracy and rule-of-law: everyone can be elected to the office, everyone is bound by the same laws.

You're a little bit unclear on this whole politics business, are you?

old comment by dionysus

Wow, what a great thread idea [if I were President]. Since I get to change anything I want, here are a few I'd start with.

1. Fire Congress

Can't do that, what with checks and balances

2. Apologize to Israel

For what? For only kissing their ass 23 hours a day instead of 24?

3. Stop abortions

Sorry, can't do that. Presidents cannot overturn Supreme Court decisions. Again, checks and balances.

4. Bring God back into our schools and every other place they took him out of

Unconstitutional.

5. Make our government about 1/4 the size it is now...its way too big now.

What the hell do you mean? Are you going to fire 3/4 of all government employees? Good luck with the inevitable depression moron.

6. Create a law that says, if you pass it Congress, you get to reap the rewards right along with the rest of us, so think before you sign the thing into law.

As much as I'd like Congress to have a taste of their own medicine, again, a president cannot force things on Congress.

7. Take better care of our military guys, show them the love and respect they deserve.

Hey, what do you know? Finally one that is both doable and not incredibly stupid. And I agree.

8. Bring back the Constitution and all it stands for

Presumably it'll be after you realize that most of your suggestions have all but torn it to shreds.

9. Make it NOT PC *politically correct* to say even one bad word about God...not sure I worded this one right but you guys get my meaning!

Ah, so you brought back the Constitution just so you could tear it up again.

10. Last buy not least..if I was the president I'd be Obama I guess, so I'd fire myself and repent!

You won't need to fire yourself; the way you're going you'll be impeached before your inauguration.

old comment by TB Tabby

"1. Fire Congress"

You wouldn't be able to do that, since the US President is not Lord and Sovereign. There are checks and balances on government power that prevent the President from creating and passing laws on a whim.

"2. Apologize to Israel"

Thus causing further animosity towards America from Palestinians. Because we didn't have enough of that already.

"3. Stop abortions"

LEGAL abortions, maybe...but illegal, unsanitary back-alley abortions would skyrocket. As well as orphanage populations, death by childbirth, povery, and child abandoment. And I doubt you would do anything to support hose orphaned children.

"4. Bring God back into our schools and every other place they took him out of"

Thus violating the Establishment Clause and causing unrest among the non-Christian population.

"5. Make our government about 1/4 the size it is now...its way too big now."

Wave bye-bye to your precious military, then.

"6. Create a law that says, if you pass it Congress, you get to reap the rewards right along with the rest of us, so think before you sign the thing into law."

But you fired Congress.

"7. Take better care of our military guys, show them the love and respect they deserve."

And you can start by sending them some decent body armor instead of prayer books. And then you can pull then the fuck out of that pointless war in Iraq already!

"8. Bring back the Constitution and all it stands for"

The same Constitution that prevents the president from making up laws on a whim and forbids the government from endorsing religion?

"9. Make it NOT PC *politically correct* to say even one bad word about God...not sure I worded this one right but you guys get my meaning!"

How Orwellian of you.

In summary...you would be overthrown in a bloody revolution and executed before the first year of your term was up.

old comment by shykid

This reminds me of a book I had in fourth grade called If I Were President. It was about the things other kids said they would do if they were president, with most of those things being frivolous or working under the assumption that the president had absolute power. Of course, the things those kids said were way cuter, like "free ice cream for everyone".

One of the kids even said everyone would get free medical care if they were president. That made me pretty sad and worried, and in retrospect, it was a life-changing moment for me. Until then, I had assumed healthcare was something that everyone in wealthy nations got for free from the government, partially because I had gotten healthcare from the government my entire life (as a part of my dad's army benefits), and partially because we were stationed in Canada at the time, where that really was the case. I also wondered if the kid wanted that because he or someone in his family couldn't get it. I remember my mom had to explain to me that some sick people couldn't afford medical treatment and died because they couldn't get it.

"But they need it! That's not fair!"
"I know it's not."

Yeah, when my generation is in charge, we're gonna rock your selfish, paranoid, and xenophobic little world.

old comment by Anon-e-moose

"Wow, what a great thread idea [if I were President]"

Go right ahead, try for the Repubican nomination for 2011.

You'd have even less chance than Ralph Nader getting to the White House. Frankly, if Sarah Failin being nominated would be handing Obama his second term on a gold platter, then your attempt would destroy the GOP as a whole.

But you keep dreaming cm4jesus and all your fellow sheeple on Ruptured Retards. As your hopes for the (C)Rapture are just that - a dream.

@thelivingguano

"I didn't think it was "politically correct" to say bad things about God."

"Am I wrong?"

Well, not for nothing does the phrase 'Blasphemy is a victimless crime' exist.

old comment by FMG

1. No one would vote for you. Your plan seems to be "vote for me to create a dictatorship".

2. Why? They are raging assholes who have to stop ghettoising a group of people for no reason apart from faith.

3. Abortions will continue whether they are legal or not.

4. God doesn't belong in schools. Education does.

5. So its basically you and your cronies running a monarchy.

6. I thought you banned congress?

7. Sure but not the way you think they should be treated,

8. The constitution stood for slavery and oppression of women.

9. Yeah. its called blasphemy laws. It means you can round up people who are atheist or not of your faith.

So far your plans are all stupid.

old comment by Lizardman

First of all, you can't change everything.You could suggest bills to congress, but then they'd have to get accepted, pass a commitee, pass the House, pass the Senate, then after it was signed by you the Supreme Court could still strike it down. Now for all of your plans:
1:You can't fire Congress. You are on an equal level with them, not above them, for starters.
2:For what?
3:Can anyone say "state-sponsored sexism"?
4:READ THE FIRST MOTHERFUCKING AMENDMENT
5:We tried small government. From 1776-1787 we had small government. It failed.
6:I thought you fired congress.
7:Congress does not sign the thing into law. The president does, dumbass.
8:It never got struck down. You mean you want to install a new constitution that says what you want and think the current one to say.
9:The president does not decide what is PC. Society does.
10:repent for what? Also, Obama's been doing a hell of a lot better job than McCain would be doing. Also, if Obama resigned, Joe Biden would become president, and things would pretty much be the same.

old comment by JSS

1) Kind of extreme. You're president, not dictator.
2) For what exactly? If you don't mind me asking.
3) And provide help and care for pregnant women, as well as contraceptives to avoid unwanted pregnancies?
4) "Bring God" or force religion?
5) Okay, but I'd think that would conflict with your 'I could change anything I want as president' deal.
6) So get rid of Congress, then start regulating the now non-existent Congress.
7) Perhaps the fruits of their labor: A free country where you're not the dictator?
8) Already here. Altered, yes, but it never left.
9) Govt even as of now doesn't control what's 'politically correct', society does. Good luck with your 1/4th our current size government controlling society plan.
10) So Obama stands for all this?

cm4jesus #fundie rr-bb.com

110 comments

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